05.09.2013

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During that time, I was dating (which was new, after a divorce from an 11-year relationship), pushing myself to go out with men I might not have previously considered (corporate lawyers?
One of the worst ends is the break up that happened several years ago and that came back to mind this week. The end was near, yes, but the birthday was nearer. I planned a dinner out, wrapped the present, wrote out just enough sentiments in a card and shelved the break up for a few days.
Sometimes still, I chide myself for letting a holiday take precedence over my happiness and my well-being in that old relationship. There will always be toxic, unhealthy people in our lives, whether they are a partner or boss or family member or finger-wagging parent at the playground. Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. On this episode of the Brilliant Business Moms Podcast, Beth Anne Schwamberger is joined by Bringing Up Betty Podcast Host, Sarah Evans. How to choose a social media platform for your business - and why there's more than just strategy involved. Case studies of business pros who use just one form of social media, ditch the rest, and still make six figures.
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That partnership was a low in my self-esteem, a time when I was full of stress and second-guessing and distraction. The day I realized it really was truly, completely, totally, for-good over and it must end immediately was, of course, just a few days from his birthday. I saw him grasping, thinking we may be on an upswing and it made me hate the few hours we were out even more.
He lost his shit and called me to say a bunch of crazy stuff, I responded with my own crazy stuff and then he texted me more crazy stuff. It has made it more important for me since that time to speak up when I am concerned or feel cagey or need to sort something out with the man by my side. And there will always be holidays or other outside justifications that we should put up with it for just one day longer.
It can be an incredible way to grow your audience and customer base, but it can also be an overwhelming, never-ending black hole of time-wasting insanity.
We dated for nine months, which was six (or eight) months longer than we should have been together, blowing past the first red flag on the night of my birthday, a very strange interaction on Fourth of July, awkwardness at Labor Day, my deliberate exclusion of him at fall family events, my decline to participate in his Thanksgiving, a wobbly sort-of-reunited Christmas and a secret New Year’s meet-up.
I don’t have a truth or formula or personalized advice for people who are having a hard time getting out. And playing the comparison game can make a mamapreneur feel so completely inadequate that she gives up before she even gets started!


I stressed out over it too much, rationalizing that he’d given me several thoughtful, lovely gifts. But it felt even crueler to break up on the day of his birth. He went home with his thoughtful, lovely gift and I went home with the crumpled up wrapping paper and empty envelope. I just wish that I’d given the holiday (and him) less power and handed more over to myself. Somewhere, I knew I had to work on leaving as much as I had to work on recognizing when it was great enough to stay.
I wish I’d let Independence Day or my own birthday be the impetus to wave goodbye, rather than a holiday months away on the calendar.
I was finding my way to a different identity and it was good for me to stretch beyond my comfort zone.
And I found myself using excuse after excuse to push off the inevitable, including (and maybe especially) holidays. That included taking note of how the relationships (or arrangements, or meetings) came to an end.



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