16.11.2014

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It's a huge honor to be a maid of honor or a bridesmaid, and you'll experience many fantastic moments as a member of the bride's VIP circle. Dilemma #1: You're asked to pay for a bridesmaids dress you can't afford, and everyone else seems fine with the price, so you don't want to rock the boat. When the bride shows you a few dress "finalists" to choose from, ask if you can speak with her privately. What to say: "These bridesmaid dresses are all very pretty, but they're more expensive than what I can afford.
Don't be afraid to speak up: You may regret it if you don't, especially if you find out afterwards that all of the other bridesmaids thought the price was outrageous, too, but no one was brave enough to say anything! Dilemma #2: You're asked to help pay for the bridal shower, and the requested amount for your contribution is much higher than what you expected.
What to say: "(Insert bride's name here) deserves an amazing bridal shower, but I can't afford to contribute (insert $X amount here) for (insert restaurant name here). Dilemma #3: The other bridesmaids have their heart set on a girls' getaway, but it's simply not within your means right now. If it's the bride's wish to plan a girls' getaway to Vegas, don't panic just yet: resorts have group packages that can be very affordable, and discount travel sites can turn up low-priced airfare.
Dilemma #4: You're being asked for your opinion way too often, and you don't know how to handle the endless barrage of text and email chains.
Before you get upset, consider that the maid of honor is responsible for including everyone. What to say: "You're working really hard on the wedding and doing a great job of including us all. Dilemma #5: The maid of honor or other bridesmaids never include you in the wedding-planning process.
Dilemma #6: You or another bridesmaid tries to run the show, so you end up stepping on the maid of honor or bride's toes. If you're the bride or maid of honor: "I know that you have good intentions, but I'm starting to get some complaints from the other bridesmaids, and having to tell them you're really a sweet person. If you're the bridesmaid: If you're the recipient of this "talk," don't fight back with excuses or complaints about how nothing would get done without you. Dilemma #7: You or another bridesmaid is an "outsider" who's having trouble fitting into the bride's social circle.
Dilemma #8: The bride wants one thing for the shower, but her mom wants something completely different, so you're stuck in the middle. When moms are included in the bridal shower plans, they often help save the bridesmaids money--that's one perk to keep in mind if she's being a royal pain in the you-know-what. Your primary loyalty is to the bride, though, so when her mother pushes for something that's completely different from what the bride wants, take a deep breath, be calm and confident, and tell her the bride's wishes that were relayed to you. Don't complain to the bride about her mom's pushiness unless she truly acts out, like calling the caterer to change the menu that you and the other bridesmaids already set. Dilemma #9: The bride is so preoccupied with the wedding that she never asks you what's going on in your life. If the bride is obsessed about the wedding plans, or she's in the blissed-out early phase, that topic owns 99.9% of her brain right now. This should make the bride realize that she's been too "all about me" not just with you, but probably with other people, too. Dilemma #10: The bride can never make up her mind about what she wants, and it's affecting the bridesmaids' plans.
It sounds like the bride is overwhelmed by too many options and she doesn't want to make any mistakes that she'll regret.
If she's still leaving things until the last minute: Gently remind her that the bridesmaids can't start on their tasks and fulfill them well if they're waiting and rushing around for her to make up her mind.
When she finally decides on something, tell her to stop looking at Pinterest wedding images from that category! Providing leading support and exceptional care for families who experience the loss of their baby. To those who roll their eyes and say that we barely had them at all, how could we miss them so much. She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once. If you don't know what to say to me, that's okay, because I don't know what to say to you either. Today might be an anniversary for me or some event might have triggered a wave of grief in me.
When the last scenes of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there were only one set of footprints. God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few to make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step, yet I continue to wear them.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realise someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life. Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don't like to sit through anything. Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head constantly. Normal is having TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart. Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and their birthday and survive these days. Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my baby loved. Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever. Normal is weeks, months and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better. Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child.
Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it. Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child. Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child. Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in other countries, but yet never having met any of them face to face. Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is being to tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food. Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two children or one, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my baby isn't here on earth.


Normal is avoiding playgrounds because of small, happy children that break your heart when you see them. Normal is people asking why God took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there is a God. This page is for women who were screened for cervical cancer with a Pap test and an HPV test. Cancer that starts to grow on a womana€™s cervix is called a€?cervical cancer.a€? Cancer can grow on a womana€™s cervix the same way it can grow on other body parts. A virus, called genital human papillomavirus (pap-ah-LOmah-VYE-rus)a€”also called HPVa€”can cause normal cells on your cervix to turn abnormal.
Every year in the United States, about 12,000 women get cervical cancer, but it is the most preventable type of female cancer, with both HPV vaccines and regular screening tests.
Some HPV types can cause changes on a womana€™s cervix that can lead to cervical cancer over time. Most of the time, the bodya€™s immune system fights off HPV naturally within two years-- before HPV causes any health problems. HPV is passed on through genital (skin to skin) contact, most often during vaginal or anal sex. One important way to prevent cervical cancer is through regular screening with the Pap test. Since cervical cancer often does not cause symptoms until it is advanced, it is important to get screened even when you feel healthy.
Checks your cervix for the virus (HPV) that can cause abnormal cells and lead to cervical cancer. The Pap and HPV tests can find early problems that could lead to cervical cancer over time.
Check for all HPV types a€“The HPV test only checks for specific HPV types that are linked to cervical cancer.
Age 21 or older -- for follow-up of an abnormal Pap test result (see "What Does My Pap Test Result Mean?"). Why is the HPV test NOT recommended as part of regular screening for younger women and teens? HPV is less common in women over the age of 30, who are at increasing risk for cervical cancer. Getting regular Pap tests, even without the HPV test, is still a good way to prevent cervical cancera€”for both younger and older women.
If your Pap test results are unclear or abnormal, you will likely need more tests so your doctor can tell if your cell changes could be related to cancer. If you have an HPV test at the same time as your Pap test, it can be confusing to get both results at the same time. Even if you do have cell changes, it is unlikely that they are caused by HPV (or related to cervical cancer).
Your doctor may need to remove the abnormal cells or follow up with you over time to make sure the cells do not get worse. Most sexually active people get HPV at some time in their lives, though most will never know it. HPV testing is not recommended for men, nor is it recommended for finding HPV on the genitals or in the mouth or throat. Partners who are age 26 or younger should consider HPV vaccination to protect against the types of HPV that most commonly cause health problems in men and women. The types of HPV found on a womana€™s HPV test can cause cervical cancer; they do not cause genital warts. Having HPV does not mean that you or your partner is having sex outside of your relationship. If your sex partner is female, you should talk to her about the link between HPV and cervical cancer, and encourage her to get a Pap test to screen for cervical cancer.
Does having HPV or abnormal cervical cells affect my chances of getting pregnant or having healthy babies? Condoms may lower your chances of passing HPV to your new partner, if used with every sex act, from start to finish. Three vaccines are available to prevent the HPV types that cause most cervical cancers as well as some cancers of the anus, vulva (area around the opening of the vagina), vagina, and oropharynx (back of throat including base of tongue and tonsils).
To find out where else you can get free or low-cost screening and follow-up care, call 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237).
Cancer (KAN-ser): A disease that starts when cells in the body turn abnormal and begin to grow out of control. Colposcopy (kol-POS-coe-pee): A method your doctor can use to magnify the cervix to see any abnormal cells. HPV or human papillomavirus (pap-ah-LO-mah-VYE-rus): A very common virus that infects the skin cells.
Screening test: Getting tested for early signs of disease so the problem can be treated before the disease ever develops.
Uterus (YOO-tuh-rus): The uterus, or womb, holds a growing baby and helps push the baby out during labor. The Pap testa€”either alone or with the HPV testa€”is the best way to find early signs of cervical cancer. Most women who get abnormal Pap test results or who have HPV do not get cervical cancera€”as long as they follow their doctora€™s advice for more tests or treatment. However, with so many different tasks to complete, purchases to make, and personalities to deal with, bridesmaids may have to solve some etiquette challenges before they can pop those champagne corks. Here, smart solutions to your toughest questions (that you've always secretly wished you could ask!). I want to be sure I have enough funds to help throw a fantastic bridal shower for you as well.
If you hear back from the bride that your new dress options are welcome, get it done right away so that the bride doesn't get anxious about this task taking too long. The bridesmaids may see it as a worthwhile deal, so they don't have to spend their weekends slaving over party plans and DIY projects.
Check out all of the details and do diligent research before saying "yay" or "nay." In addition to travel and lodging, you'll need to factor in bar tabs, celebratory dinners, and other expenses, which can add up. For example, a boutique bed-and-breakfast nearby would give you the same bonding time, and you'd be able to spend more on activities, like a fine dinner, winery tour, or shopping. Maybe she was previously a bridesmaid who had a steamroller MOH to answer to, and she vowed never to be that way.
If you keep getting nos, then you'll have to accept that the MOH isn't going to share the tasks.
Or, if you all live far apart, create a private Facebook group and have everyone share five fun facts about themselves.
For example, if you're a relative of the groom's and you don't want to attend the bachelorette party because male dancers will be there, suggest that the group take the bride out for dinner first, so that you can attend that portion and then bow out later, with no pressure about "bailing" on the bridesmaids.
Some moms latch on to the shower because they're not as involved in the wedding plans as they'd like to be, or maybe they're just very enthusiastic by nature. While you want to spare the bride the embarrassment, her mom is more likely to take "no" for an answer if it's coming from her, not from someone she doesn't know that well. If you start to tell her about a problem you're having or a great thing that happened at work, she just starts talking about her day again. The wedding is on her mind, and when someone is laser-focused on something, this is what happens. For example, if she's working on centerpieces, she can include that she hates greenery, bright pops of color, etc.
When she hears that her stall tactics are stressing everyone out, she may work harder to make decisions in a timely manner. We hope you find some words here that do just that, to help you gain strength and hope for the future.


I thank God for her everyday, but even if I have twenty more babies, I will forever have two in the grave, and that is two too many. Over many years, abnormal cells can turn into cancer if they are not found and treated by your doctor. There are about 40 types of HPV that can infect the genitals or sex organs of men and women.
These HPV types can also infect other parts of the body and cause other, less common cancers in men and women. But the HPV types that can cause genital warts are different from the types that can cause cancer. It is only when HPV stays on a womana€™s cervix for many years that it can cause cervical cancer.
An HPV test can also be used at the same time as the Pap test for women 30 years and older. Your doctor should offer you an HPV test if you need it and it is available in their practice.
But it is not useful to test women under age 30 for HPV, since most HPV that is found in these women will never cause them health problems. HPV is also more likely to signal a health problem for these women, who may have had the virus for many years. Your doctor may use other words to describe this result, like: equivocal, inconclusive, or ASC-US. This is done using a special lens that makes your cervical cells look bigger (called a colposcopy). But few of them get cervical cancera€”as long as they get the tests and treatments their doctor recommends. HPV vaccines do not cure existing HPV or related problems (like abnormal cervical cells), but they can protect you from getting new HPV infections in the future. Even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get HPV, if their partner had it when the relationship started. This means that your partner likely has HPV already, even though your partner may have no signs or symptoms. The type of HPV that is linked to cancer should not affect the health of your future babies. But HPV can infect areas that are not covered by a condoma€”so condoms may not fully protect against HPV. The approved HPV tests on the market are not useful for screening for HPV-related cancers or genital warts in men. If you got a total hysterectomy for reasons other than cancer, you may not need cervical cancer screening. Your doctor may also use words like a€?equivocala€? or a€?inconclusivea€? to describe this result (see below). Cancer screening tests look for early signs of cancer so you can take steps to avoid ever getting cancer. Or, can we possibly plan a brunch instead of dinner, to help cut down on costs?" Don't go into detail about all of your financial crutches, especially any upcoming vacations, because no one will sympathize with you when you have a big Aruba trip coming up.
This makes you a valuable member of their team, rather than a complainer who doesn't want to pitch in.
Remind yourself that you're lucky to get asked for your opinion when so many other bridesmaids are just told what to do. Would it be possible to plan an in-person meeting with the rest of the girls to go over everything?
No pouting, no refusing to share ideas if they're not going to be heard, and no causing drama--even if your feelings are hurt. Discovering shared interests--watching the same TV shows, training for a half-marathon--can give them things to talk about with one another. This will give her a sense of accomplishment and help her get over that initial hurdle of where to start. One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for, but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of!
Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare.
It can take 10 to 15 years (or more) for cells to change from normal to abnormal, and then into cancer.
Doctors may use the HPV test with the Pap test to tell if these women are more likely to get cervical cancer in the future, and if they need to be screened more often. These treatments may be uncomfortable, but they can be done during one visit to your doctor. Most times, problems that are found can be treated before they ever turn into cervical cancer.
Usually, HPV has no signs or symptoms, and the body fights it off naturally before it causes health problems.
So an HPV infection that is found today will most likely not be there a year or two from now.
But if you need treatment for your cell changes, the treatment could affect your chance of having babies, in rare cases. If your partner is age 26 years or younger, vaccinations are available to prevent the types of HPV that most commonly cause health problems in men and women.
For this test, your doctor takes cells from your cervix so that they can be looked at with a microscope.
Your doctor will look at the outside of your genitals, or sex organs, to look for problems.
If her messages are coming in way too frequently, or she expects an answer during inopportune times (e.g. Abnormal cells are sometimes called a€?pre-cancera€? because they are not normal, but they are not yet cancer.
If you need treatment, ask your doctor if the treatment can affect your ability to get pregnant or have a normal delivery. Your doctor will also look at and feel your internal organsa€”such as your vagina, cervix, ovaries, and womb. An HPV test may also be used with the Pap test for women 30 years or older, as part of routine screening. The more serious changes are often called a€?precancera€? because they are not yet cancer, but they can turn into cancer over time. Since treatment can have risks and side effects, it is best to make sure you really need it.
Thata€™s why ita€™s important to go back to your doctor as told, to make sure abnormal cells do not grow back. The vaccines are recommended at age 11 or 12 because they are most effective when given before a persona€™s first sexual contact. LSIL stands for a€?low-grade squamous intra-epithelial lesionsa€?a€” which means minor cell changes on the cervix. But you can get vaccinated through age 26, if you did not get all three vaccine doses when you were younger. HSIL stands for a€?high-grade squamous intra-epithelial lesionsa€?a€” which means more serious cell changes. Go back to your doctor for all appointments and testinga€”to make sure your cell changes do not get worse. These vaccines may one day become available to women older than 26 years, if they are found to be safe and effective for them.



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