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Living here is quite stressful; there are six children running around with very little in the way of discipline, guidance or boundaries.
I text him from work telling him I need to come and collect the rest of my things from his house that evening. He gives me his bank card, instructing me to buy one of those tests that tells you how far gone you are, and to bring it to his house after work the next day. For the past few months I’ve been living in this house, returning to my own home only to pay rent and pick up my post.
I feel terrible; worse when I later find out that he has gone home that evening and told his children that I have left because of their terrible behaviour and might never come back. Birthdays are the only times the whole family goes into town together, for breakfast at a cafe or pub.

As I begin to put take my things downstairs, I realise that the older children are awake; they have heard everything. I don’t register the clothes on the floor, the children fighting on the stairs, the dog laying across the landing.
He insists that I too should get drunk, and I am dispatched to the local shop to buy some wine.
I catch the bus to his house, gather up the rest of my things, and sit on the edge of his bed.
We pass a lovely morning with the children, first having breakfast and then going to the library, a place they’ve never been before. I have no idea how my being 3+ weeks makes a difference, but it does and now it’s ok and I can be his girlfriend again.

I’m trying to figure out how I can get all of my things out of his house and across town to my house in the middle of a Saturday night.
Eventually he tells me he can’t stand my outlandish behaviour and mood swings any more, and I must leave. He tells me to call a taxi, but I can’t bear the thought of a taxi driver helping me to carry my things while I cry uncontrollably. This is the first time in my entire adult life I have ever called upon my mother to help me in this sort of way, but I don’t know what else to do.

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