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Last month, in my 29 Days to Great Sex series, I was talking about how to make sex great: how to want it, how to be enthusiastic, how to make it fun.
My husband has low testosterone and it is a huge struggle for us, even though he is being treated for it.
He still makes love to me because he knows it’s something I need, but I wish it was something HE actually needed, too. But today let’s deal with this problem: how do you help a spouse who does not have a drive for sex or an understanding that sex is important understand what your needs are? Your spouse will hear the first bit, especially if this has become a big area of conflict in your relationship.
I really believe that God created us to long for each other and to be able to experience major depths of love and intimacy.
Now, some people are bound to chime in and say that I’m being too easy on the spouse. Intimacy should be the main focus of your conversation with your spouse, because as your spouse recognizes a deeper need for intimacy, he or she will likely recognize more of a need for sex. But intimacy is deeper than just sex, and if you work on building intimacy in other areas of your life, you may very well also fuel your spouse’s desire for sex. Join over 23,000 people who receive my monthly marriage newsletter--and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 36 Tips to Bring Sexy Back to Your Marriage. Eventually my husband decided to come off of most of the meds he was on and this was a tremendous answer to prayer.
Within the past year I have been made aware an addiction to porn that my husband had since basically {sadly} childhood.
Since the discovery, his repentance and newfound freedom, things have changed dramatically. Know that while I do not want to imply that your husbands are likely into porn in spite of the fact that it seems impossible to be true, I do pray that you will sincerely seek the Lord for Him to open, FIRST, your eyes.
We've all been there: You're newly single, still reeling from the sting of being dumped by your ex -- and desperately trying to avoid texting him or her. But let the texts in the slideshow below be a warning to you -- though it's tempting to text, those post-split conversations never go as planned. These discussions always end the same way: you feel defeated, alone, and completely misunderstood by the one person you count on the most to really support you.
Word your request carefully, however, because that's critically important to getting what you're after.
So instead of tossing out accusations like, "Only a psycho would let herself into someone else's house when no one is home! Practice using these three strategies, and before you know it, your husband will start to feel more like your ally than your adversary. Todd Chrisley has made more money than anyone you know in real estate, and now he’s ready to start his next venture in the fashion world. But then the emails started to arrive: what do I do if my husband doesn’t want to have sex?
The biggest thing is that he just doesn’t really see sex as an issue at all; it’s as if he wants a complete marriage, but if there was no sex, he’d be fine with that. However, at this time, I am struggling with being very angry with God because I am a “good girl,” raised in a Christian home and although I dated a lot before marriage (and fooled around), I saved myself for marriage and for my husband.
I believe that God wants us to feel passionate about each other, close to each other, and truly intimate, so that we know that we’re not walking through life alone. God wants you to enjoy everything that He created you for, and I think that we’re robbing each other of the gift of passion that God put in us. The conversation doesn’t become about sex, or what you do in bed, or how often is enough. When my husband and I read Psalms before we go to bed, or pray together before we go to bed, I’m always more ready to jump him!
And then talk to your spouse about how God wants you to live lives of passion and intimacy.

Although my husband didn’t have a complete lack of desire for sex the first many years of our marriage, he did have a lower sex drive than I and this was a huge battle for me. I prayed and prayed some more and definitely pulled back on not just groveling but also discussion on the topic for a while. Some time later {maybe a few years} we had a blow up that ended up with an eye opening revelation for me. It took prayer and repentance and surrendering to the Lord but I knew I had to change this.
It can seem a little crazy in that you’d think it would feed them to want it more from their wives.
He's your husband, and so you want him to understand how you feel about what his mother said or did, but it seems as though he always wants to take her side. And you're incredibly frustrated that the more you try to get your mate to see things from your perspective, the more he digs his heels in and defends his mother. Do you just want to vent, do you want him to truly understand your emotional pain, or do you want him to fix the situation?
Complaining about his mother, berating her, or blaming him will not get you what you want (even if it makes you feel better at the time).
Remember, this discussion -- what you want and what you are asking him for -- is between you and your husband.
She's lucky we don't call the police!" try this instead: "Your mother came in our house again when we weren't home and it feels creepy to me.
Not only will that make you feel closer to the man you married, but it will also make it more likely that the two of you will find a way to resolve your in-law issues.
Chrisley Knows Best is a breath of fresh air in the world of guilty pleasure reality television. And, yes, she does get a super fancy car in the end but she is legitimately shocked to receive it! But I’m worried that our lack of intimacy is actually partly the cause of some of that exhaustion.
It focuses on how we can feel love for each other and how we can really experience passion.
When we feel close to God, we’ll simultaneously feel more like reaching out to our spouses. Thank you for giving them ideas of what they can do to help the overall feel of their marriages. For many of those years he was on a cocktail mix of medicines for anxiety, depression and ADD. But it is nothing short of amazing the beauty God can and DOES bring through deliverance and restoration. You might say, "I just need to vent right now -- I really don't want you to feel like you have to say or do anything." That takes the pressure off for him, but more importantly it helps him know what he can do to help. Avoid saying things that are more likely to cause an argument and make the situation worse, not better. The show follows the building and creation of this massive (and massively expensive) store, but the highlights come from the interactions with his family: Mama Chrisley (Julie) and their childrenA Savannah, Chase, Lindsey, Kyle, and Grayson. Well, to be fair, they’re probably no worse than your average kid who drives a Range Rover to high school.
So in a way, Chrisley Knows Best debunks the traditional ideals of super rich kids with nothin’ but loose ends. I know life’s not fair, and that there are worse things people are dealing with, but for me, I feel lonely, rejected, and bitter. Tomorrow we’ll look at what to do when your spouse has decided to withhold sex, almost permanently. I want us to feel like we’re totally one, and I believe that the way that God made us to express that is through sex. If we could really feel passion and really feel as if we were truly connected, perhaps much of the angst that we have both been feeling lately would evaporate.

When I had dinner a while ago with Bill and Pam Farrel, of Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti fame, they told me that the couples with the best sex lives tend to be those in ministry.
Then talk to your spouse about your desire for deeper intimacy, and about God’s plan for passion and intimacy. You'll get better results if you begin the conversation being clear on what you are trying to achieve. Even if we don’t like the Kardashians, we still want to see what a family vacation in Greece looks like. The distinction here is that Papa Chrisley put a boot and a club on little Chase’s Range when Chase snuck off to a football game.
He is a fabulous man, father, and husband, but it breaks my heart that he doesn’t see any need for sex in marriage. There is a time to bring this up, once things are looking better, but if the desire is to move your relationship towards greater intimacy, that is what you should be focusing on, not vengeance.
Instead, bring up your desire for intimacy–an intimacy that will empower you both, energize you both, and equip you both to deal with the world together. What I am proposing is to talk about it in a way that is more likely to get your spouse to understand your heart, and more likely to get your spouse involved in seeking a solution.
If your wife is overburdened with the house or with kids, start helping her more so she can relax. Putting the issue at the center (you need to feel his support) instead of his mother (and how insensitive she is) keeps the two of you in problem-solving mode and makes it much more likely that the discussion will be productive. And even if we think most of the Real Housewives are hot messes who should be embarrassed to have made names for themselves by pulling out each other’s weaves on television, we still want in on the weave-pulling.
This may seem like a small act, but think about the last time you saw a rich kid on television actually get punished for bad behavior. And to me, that is more important than telling your spouse that he or she is wrong and you are right. If you’re uncomfortable praying out loud, get a book of prayers and read those (that really is allowed). Eventually I came to the end of myself and realized I’d better surrender this to the Lord or it would swallow me up. Because if we have to watch these kids living their sickeningly fabulous, wonderful, fabulous lives, if we have to look at their kitchen countertops and salivate over the marble granite whatever that stuff was, if we have to watch Savannah’s Sweet 16 unfold a€”A at which even the lighting was fantastic a€”A it helps to know that Papa Chrisley is going to (lovingly) knock them down a peg.
In many ways, sex is a picture of our longing for God; our longing to be deeply connected and deeply known.
But we also have someone on our side, someone poking fun at the rich kids and putting them in their place. He gets in their business, insists on meeting their crushes, and gives them little-to-no privacy (he seriously has tracking devices on their cars, and closely monitors their phones and laptops). As we open ourselves up to spiritual passion, we’re more likely to feel other kinds of passion.
While he was not among the men who will readily admit their desire and indulgence in this sin, he would willingly go behind closed doors.
What the Lord showed me was that when I went to my husband, often times I would end up groveling.
Even in the early years when we had it, it was good most of the times but things were definitely better. But as many of you may relate, a woman will sometimes resort to crying and pleading and asking what she is doing wrong. Hope you like these quotes with pictures DISCLAIMER: All images are copyrighted by their respective authors.

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