27.12.2015

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I had been working with a guy named, Brad, for a few weeks in an effort to get him back on a solid track with his ex girlfriend recovery process.
But during this conversation with me, all Brad could talk about were the dreams he was having about his ex gf and what that meant. He had gotten a few little nibbles from his ex girlfriend, suggesting that she was primed to re-explore a relationship with him.
They were coming off two successive break ups in a span of a couple of months and this time he wanted to get things right.
His mind was working overtime with what it all meant and what he should do about it, as she was appearing to him almost every night in his dreams. And quite frankly, I understood exactly what was going on with him because it happens often with people when they break up with their former girlfriend. Guys dream about their ex-girlfriends and the ladies can’t help dreaming about their man.Do You Even Have a Chance of Getting Your Ex Back? Now in Brad’s case, while he was crying out for help, I could tell he was genuinely divided about what it all meant and if he should act on what he thought the dreams may have been telling him.
He was not being victimized by horrible dreams about his ex-girlfriend, dreams that had her wielding a knife or standing him up.
Indeed, it could be argued that those intimate dreams he was having about his ex-girlfriend were a healthy outlet. But what I didn’t want him doing was interrupting his No Contact Period, thinking that these vivid and fulfilling dreams meant that it was time for him to reunite with his ex-girlfriend.
I didn’t want him to think that the dream represented some kind of prediction that the two of them were ready to resume the relationship after only 2 weeks of No Contact. You see, dreaming about your ex-girlfriend is what I consider a purely natural occurrence, but it should never be mistaken as a “Call for Duty”  on what you should do next. There is a very good chance that if you recently broke up with an ex, you will be visited by her in your dreams.
Well, there are a host of reasons on why your dream gremlins can conjure up all these fantastical images in your mind. And I think the term “dream gremlins” describes quite well what is going on in your mind when you dream about your ex girlfriend. You see, just like a gremlin, the mechanizations of your mind can create an imaginary world which can lead to mischievous results. I think in most cases, when guys dream about their ex-girlfriend, the dream experience is more often a positive outcome.
The fact that you are HERE reading this post suggests that you are probably positively motivated to win back your ex girlfriend and this is usually reflected in your dreams about her. When you dream about her, it is natural to wonder if it means that the two of you are meant for each other.
Over the next several minutes, we are going to take our own little journey, but in this case, let’s focus as much as possible on the facts and what can help you! Such is the power of our minds that they can construct elaborate tales of fiction and pass them off as reality during your night’s slumber.
We have this amazing capacity to sponge up essentially every experience and thought we have, most of which we do not consciously remember. Given that the relationship you had with you ex girlfriend was very likely occupying a good amount of your memories, it follows that your mind will assign a higher weight or gravity to those experiences and thoughts. Throw in the fact that these experiences with your ex girlfriend involved close bonding with another human being (i.e. Seems like they have half a dozen shows on television that deals with trying to mine gold and build a fortune. Well, your mind, when it comes to dreaming about your Ex-girlfriend, sort of operates like a gold mine. Since gold is the heaviest element, it will naturally settle at the bottom of the gold pan. It is a lot like that when your mind sifts through all of its memories and information it has in inventory.
It is those memories of your ex girlfriend that are engraved or etched deeply into your mind that make up some of the raw materials used by the brain when it constructs a dream.
As we all walk around, our brain is capable of sponging up tons and tons of data, most of which we are not even consciously aware of. Right now, your lovely ex-girlfriend has a number of the starring roles in these little fictional dramas. Or are they just fictional, “movies of the mind”, that bear no resemblance to the past or your future prospects. Roy Orbison composed and sang a song called “In Dreams”, which was a haunting tale of lost love.
This 1963 song was largely forgotten until the movie, Blue Velvet, resurrected the little masterpiece.
He savored all of the dreams of his ex girlfriend and in no way wanted them to go away, because he missed her so much. But what was stirring inside him was the beginning of an obsession, because all he could think about was dreaming about her. You see Brad, just like Roy Orbison who tenderly laid out his lyrics, was falling in love with his dream girl. I have done intensive research on this topic and have set up laboratory tests and here is what I have observed.
Once these creatures are in your brain, they can access your neurons and manipulate them in such a way that they construct entire, elaborate fantasies starring you and your ex girlfriend.
Your brain stem is like a bean stalk that sprouts on up in the sky and if you climb it you will find a giant…. Well, the best the researchers can make of it all is that with the firing and activation of neurons, certain memories and emotions emerge from all of this electrical activity. As to the triggering event, science tells us it happens much more often during what is called REM sleep.


So you could have an entire library of lurid and detailed dreams about your lovely ex girlfriend, but will have no memory of them.
I wouldn’t  bank on anyone soon finding the true origins of dreams or exactly what is going on in our brain. You see, what makes a dream emerge and what it all means is as puzzling to behavioral scientists today as it was during the time Freud speculated about the meaning of dreams. Let’s just agree that the dreams you have of your ex girlfriend comes from the wonderland of your mind. And the big takeaway is that during this period of recovery you are undergoing, your ex girlfriend has one of the starring roles in your mind’s picture show…at least for now. When you take a dream and start breaking it down into its components, you are going to be inclined to want to make sense of it all. Just when you can put a face on it and think you have it all figured out, you end up having another dream of her, causing you to reassess what it all really means. Your mind’s movie may reflect on many interesting things or have little bearing on things which matter to you most. The mind is a kaleidoscope of images and memories embedded deep down into recesses of your brain. Those images and movies starring your Ex most likely find their way into your dream because of the prominence and weight the experience had in your memory. As with all things, time is the final arbitrator as to what things stand more prominent in you mind. Or you may have had an abusive relationship and some of the emotional baggage has not been properly sorted through at the conscious level. During your relationship with your ex girlfriend you were accustomed to her being an important routine in your life. Your dreams of your former sweetheart do not necessarily mean you still love her, rather it could be your psyche trying to deal with sorting out where she fits into your life, if at all. Just know that following break-up, particularly the messy ones, people need time to truly get in touch with their feelings. The dreams you experience is your mind’s way of trying to sort through the many jumbled memories and feelings you have. It is also possible your subconscious mind may be trying to take you to a place to escape some current ongoing stress. Never forget that the bond you have with your ex girlfriend is tightly woven throughout your mind.
Hence this is why your mind will run it own picture show operation at a subconscious, dream state level. You watch that little ball get knocked around all over the place and hope to keep the little ball from falling down through the slot. The emotions you will exhibit will run the gambit from confusion, anger, resentment,  sadness, and wistfulness to name a few.
We are always trying to make connections….in our normal waking life and sometimes during our unconscious sleeping life. Naturally, as we sort through our past experiences with our ex-girlfriend,  we become subject to an assortment of emotions and these feelings intersect with our dream world.
Even later, during your waking hours, when you are trying to process what the dream about your ex gf really means, it can cause you to get confused, frustrated, or absent minded. Some guys get a little crazy when they dream about their ex girlfriend and try to act out on their interpretation of what it all means. Remember, they are the mind’s picture shows in which the most meaningful thing you can derive from the experience is the wonderment of the brain’s ability to entertain you on all sorts of levels during the night.
I told him I thought it would be a huge mistake to reveal to his new girlfriend that he was having these sexy dreams about his former lover. I told him that it was likely the ex girlfriend erotic dreams had probably run their course and what he should do is internalize them only in such a way that it results in spicing up his sex life with his new girlfriend.
If you are still seeking to reunite with your ex girlfriend, then don’t let a sexy dream get you out of touch with reality.
It could be a dream of you hurting your ex girlfriend or possibly you learn terrible news of her death. Remember, fear is a powerful force and can cause you to think in all kinds of odd and strange and frightful ways. But the least I can do is point you to some things you can “hang your hat on” when it comes to deciphering the meaning of ex gf dreams. When you dream about your ex, it means you are relatively healthy as you are playing out the many thoughts and memories in your mind. Think of it as the brain’s creative play time…a creative process where you construct an entirely new and different world. It is possible your dreams may mean something, but these “picture shows of the mind” have no bearing on your ability to get her back some day in the future, if that is what you desire. Don’t assume you should derive some special feeling or insight about what you dreamed about. Remember, the two of you, though currently separated, will experience what is called the “mirroring” phenomenon. What you experience in the way of emotions and reactions to the break-up, your ex girlfriend will also likely experience.
One way you can leverage that is when it’s time to send her what I call the First Contact text message. A provide many examples of how, what, and when you should reach out to your ex gf once the No Contact Period is over. Some experts may tell you it is a great idea, but don’t count me as one who advocates such nonsense! Look… I don’t want you torturing yourself trying to decipher and solve the riddle of these ex girlfriend dreams. I don’t want you laboring hour after hour, trying to figure out all the possible meanings of this nightly images.


Yep…in my view, most dreams are about your subconscious entertaining itself in the middle of the night. Even though your ex-girlfriend may be in the dream, the actual meaning, if such a thing can ever be known unequivocally, may have less to do with your ex and more to do with your particular mood state. My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. Hey, I was wondering if the techniques you talk about also apply to me getting my ex back in high school? Our communication was never great in between dates, but she showed me a lot of affection & public displays of affection. We never had a tense moment in person and only great, fun memories from the few dates we shared. Thanks so much Chris for building a fantastic website, it has been a savior in trying to figure this one out… Even for a guy who has had experience in multiple breakups. I know before I even started dating her, I did not confirm plans to go on a date twice and also took a few weeks before I got her out. She also responded positively to my texts post breakup where she had blocked me for a week.
Hi Chris, I know this is a repeat comment but I am not positive in what to do with my situation. Right when I started begging her to come back I noticed she was talking to me more and even asked to hang out. Hey Chris, so my situation is pretty complicated, I was with this girl that had been in a 3 years long relationship and she ended up by breaking up with me to get back with her ex boyfriend (she told me that he treats her better than me).
I read a lot of your articles and I have to admit it gave me hope and inspired me to still try to get the girl I want and I care for. I am growing worried because I could not find much on something that applies to a girl that she was with the other person before and knows him more than she knows you and being in a long distance relationship..
You could still be missing your ex on many levels and are trying to connect with her in dream land.
The only issues were that maybe I showed too much value, she had been hurt before in the past, and I became a little too afraid to loose her at the end (maybe I displayed neediness, I’m not sure). The problem is that she will go on a long vacation back to her home right around the holidays. After the conventional methods met with hard ignore and message I do not believe in friendship with ex.
My girlfriend of almost 2 months broke up because she said that she had feelings for her ex of 3 years.
My situation is as follows: I dated a girl for about 2 months, went on a few dates where we spent upwards of 8 plus hours together. Granted, I am guilty of playing games & have usually been able to get a girl that I have liked.
When I sent her flowers to her office she got super mad at me, said I was marking my territory at work (everything I did pushed her away farther). 3 month NC and I sort of moved on, but yesterday I went on signing session of my and my ex absolutely most favorite writer. She is from another country (long distance relationship am qualified for the long distance and prepared to do what it takes) and I went to visit her and we stayed together for 3 weeks and was amazing for both of us. She started dating a new guy only days later, and i cut all contact and went to texting her maybe once a month for 6 months.
She made the first move on the 3rd date after I created enough tension, she went in for the kiss and we ended up being intimate the same night. Then, the next 6 months i didnt text her at all, ignored her messages, and decided to just leave her out my lige.
I tried showing this to her by making plans to see her even though she lived about 35 miles away, texting her how I felt.
We had sex, I met a few of her friends, she met some of my friends, and she showed me high PDA. Besides a phone call immediately followed up with a text message saying I would like to return your clothes.
Recently, i have been hearing more and more from people(the last 3 months or so) how she realizes she actualy still loves me, and wants me back.
Never rejected a kiss from me and we always had high KINO with each other, even the last date. She turned me down because during our whole relationship I never said I love you but one time and I took it back. She wanted to be friends with me and along the conversation she said that she doesn’t want to loose me.
I always thought she was experienceing GIGS, and am geussing shes just coming diwn from that. I got blocked out of nowhere for a week, I dropped by their place & heard she was ok, left a small note stating that I was worried since I cared about her. But why would she continue dating someone who ive been told makes her misserable if she still loves me? I seemed like I wasn’t bothered and kept composure, throwing in a smiley emoji and lol here and there, she would do the same. She told me that she had talked with her family about her relationship and they were against it and wanted her to focus on her college at least till graduation. I am thinking to do the 21 no contact rule(having read this I will be going for the 14 days shorten no contact rule) .



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