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I highly recommend that if you continue to use dating sites to meet people, you don’t allow online chatting to continue past anything casual. After her DNA was spliced with that of a jelly fish, Olivia became known to all as Pink Hair Girl.
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Are your dating profile pictures 5 years old, and taken when you were 30lbs lighter and had more hair?
You’ve put the last few months of heart and soul into conversations with her, and now your hopes are up. We flirt and make each other laugh and I feel comfortable sharing personal information with her, and she feels the same way.
But you never know, she might be a serial killer who’s actually a middle aged man that likes to dress as a clown, just waiting for you to agree to enter his house before introducing you to an untimely demise.
Assure her that this behavior passes after you get comfortable in face-to-face settings, and ask her to just excuse the odd behavior at first.
That device you have that browses the internet and sends text messages also has a function for exchanging voice conversations.


That might not have been a good idea since half of the things that determine your compatibility with her were entirely absent. Some recent studies about communication mention that upwards of 90% of all the information we gather from a person through conversation is non-verbal, like their facial features, body language, tone of voice, and so on. Avoid at all costs the urge to ask her what she thinks of you from your first meeting. It shows a complete lack of confidence in yourself, first of all.
Without these things present in your chatting, your brains have been filling in all the missing pieces with how you imagine each other to be.
Tell her the ways in which you’re different from how you come off online now so that she has time to process this information. But second, it puts her on the spot to review her first impressions blatantly and to form them into words.
Surprising her with it in the hopes that your emotional connection will trump it is bad for a number of reasons.
Being a calm and collected version of yourself is he best thing you can do when you meet her. Allow her to just feel how she feels about it, without asking her to solidify a stance on it. Dating is hard, and it takes time and patience to come across someone who you can feel comfortable with in person. Embrace that either scenario is an acceptable outcome, because life goes on no matter which one it is.
This is great for continuing a chat-based relationship, but not so great when it comes time to compare what your brain is fantasizing about to what’s really there.


These are good options because you get to hear one another’s tone of voice when you speak. Because if her feelings on it aren’t entirely positive, an amorphous feeling is easier to change than a concrete decision that x, y, and z were wrong. You get to see if your jokes with each other come off just as funny when said out loud, but you won’t have to deal with the stress of in-person issues, like whether you should hug her when you see her or if you should try holding her hand. That is, as long as she doesn’t turn out to be that clown serial murderer we talked about before. Second, you two should be spending your first time meeting each other having fun, not dealing with the mental and emotional strain of reconciling what you said you are and what you really are.
You need to get over the fear of getting to meet people in person if you want to meet someone who clicks with you, and the best way to do that is to do it a lot. Yes, it will be sad to let go of something you had high hopes for, but it’s still going to be ok.
It won’t be the end of the world, it will just be the start of you going out on more dates and learning how to get more comfortable meeting people.



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