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I’ve been on Return of Kings for quite a while, reading and enjoying my fair share of wisdom, sardonic humor, and women bashing.
On the bright side most of what I will mention below could be fixed by simply making it clear from the beginning what you will and will not tolerate.
If she seems just like the misguided stereotype that you’ve read about then trust me when I say that she is deceiving you! Something that really needs to be mentioned is that Japan doesn’t really have a mental healthcare industry. Another simple thing that needs to be mentioned is that all too often many men get married in Japan and have their first child.
Kings Wiki is an ROK-affiliated wiki that contains articles around the themes of masculinity and nationalism. Many seemed to be interested in cultural differences and resulting problems in the relationship between a foreign woman and a Japanese man.
Instead I asked friends and fellow bloggers, who have had Japanese boyfriends or are even married to a Japanese man, to share their personal experience with us. It was an interesting journey and I want to thank all of the participants for taking the time to tell us about their own unique story. I wonder if that’s generally one thing that might prevent Japanese men from dating a Western girl. In the previous article we were already discussing the language issue that cross-cultural couples might have. When I started dating my husband, I didn’t really feel that we had any cultural barriers.
The language barrier seems to be a real issue even when you try hard to understand each other.
Just like River, Alyse also notices cultural differences when it comes to responsibilities in the household.
I think we all gained very interesting insights thanks to these young women who were willing to share their unique stories and experiences with us. While there’s no doubt that each relationship is different, a few things were mentioned again and again. I know there are a lot of young women out there who are either interested in dating Japanese men or who are already in a relationship.
I bet it’s not easy, but if he is the one, then I think it’s worth fighting for!
Yes, being shy is a big problem, but more for the combination Japanese guy + Western girl, I guess! Glad to hear you enjoyed the post and thanks again for taking the time to share your own story with us! Some mentioned that Japanese men are slow to respond or often don’t mail as often as they expected them to, so maybe it’s just very common? About your problem, I have heard that there are types in Japan (which may I say the majime type) who did approach you if he really like you, and after you two are one, then he will like ignore you or be passive towards you. So the point is, if you really love him (no blind love,consider the future with him, the culture differ, etc.) then go for it! Being a couple in Japan is fun – because you’re allowed to be (and often encouraged to be) an obnoxiously adorable, matching couple. And, once Ryouske went back to Japan and we resumed our (awful) Long Distance Relationship (check out this post for tips for maintaining a long distance relationship), I put his (unwashed) shirt on an extra pillow on my bed and cuddled with the “Ryosuke pillow” every time I missed him.
Anyways, we made this grand plan to wear our matching “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” shirts a month later when he picked me up at the Tokyo Narita Airport.
I was too embarrassed to wear the shirt on the plane, so I changed in the bathroom right before I went through immigration. We got a couple “awww, that’s so cute” or “I wish MY boyfriend and I had matching watches” comments – so I was feeling confident enough to make the leap – coordinated outfits. And ended up on the spread for “Akita’s Hottest Men.” Well, actually Ryosuke was the one who ended up on the spread. Bottom line: Couple wear is awesome, whether it is matching watches, coordinated outfits, matching shirts, or couple-wear swimsuits. Ryosuke always jokes that I only love him for his body – and he only loves me for my face. Neither of us has ever tried matching outfits in America, but on vacation (Taiwan or other parts of Japan) we try to be obnoxious and matching.

This topic is going to have two different points of view, one from Asian girls who date white guys and another one from those who don’t date white guys.
For Asian women who prefer to date white guys, they want something from western world which Asian culture cannot give them.
On the other hand, those Asian girls who don’t date white guys, they have totally different opinion from type of girls above. So when you want to approach an Asian girl, make sure you don’t show up as a creeper or a pervert. Live in Japan and want to start dating Japanese ladies?After 10 years in Japan as expats we can say that you're in for some fun! Men on this site preach the red pill but forget that it applies to all women, not just women in certain countries. There are cultural differences here to consider and you need to try extra hard to get the point across. There was a time in Japan where women were expected to behave this way but it is not like that anymore.
The husband works many hours a week, gets his paycheck, and comes home only to give all of the money to the wife. I had a taste for Onigiri [steamed rice balls] which I don’t have here but that is okay. Of course she called multiple times over the next several weeks wondering what happened to me, but I was gone for good. Many women are running around there with some serious unchecked mental issues and you would not have the faintest idea at first. I hope so because these are exactly the same complaints men on ROK typically have regarding women out here in the West. What needs to be said is that all women behave the same way generally speaking unless the culture checks that behavior.
I guess because by then I’d been in Japan long enough that I knew my way around and I had lived with two Japanese host families, so I have a good sense of Japanese manners and customs. At the first meeting we exchanged mail addresses, met up a few times after that and at some point it just happened. Of course there are some specific cultural traits that differ, but overall, I’d say finding a Japanese boyfriend is the same as finding any boyfriend. If you can speak Japanese, you have better chances to meet them as it’s easier to have a conversation and flirt when you share a language.
But if somebody is naturally shy when it comes to these kind of things, they can’t just change that easily, I guess.
Western women are put on a pedestral sometimes, and Japanese men don't think they would ever have a chance. We flirted pretty heavily with each other, but he was the one to tell me up front that he liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend.
We bought matching “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” shirts in San Antonio while visiting a cheesy gift shop near the Alamo. Ryosuke shuffled me into his dad’s van (totally not judging me for the amount of luggage I brought to Japan) and we were on our way.
I couldn’t read the correct time occasionally, but I was either right or completely off by an hour.
I would never wear something as embarrassingly romantic as matching swimsuits in America – but secretly I’ve always wanted to try.
I was on the next page, under the “meet the hottest men’s girlfriends” section – a section that seemed awkwardly placed and unnecessary.
Publicity is publicity – and my butt looks GREAT in that picture (this might be my first run-in with photoshop makeover on a magazine. Now I live in the countryside near Tokyo with my husband, Ryosuke, where I draw comics, blog, and make videos about our daily life. We accidentally wore shirts that were similar colours recently – I realised just before we were about to go out and I had to go back in and change in a t-shirt. If a random white guy tries to hit on them while they are walking on the street, the first thing that comes up in their mind is that the guy is a creeper. This means that the avoidance of responsibility and duplicity could be more prevalent depending on the situation. You are being lured into a trap and it will come in the form of an “accidental” pregnancy, stalking, and just everything seeming like it’s too good to be true.
This happens even if the wife is not working, which is also common as Japan still has a large portion of married women who are homemakers.

She wanted access to my checking account and began telling me what I should buy with my own money. You can ask someone something and they will smile and say “maybe” but what they really mean is a big fat NO. Problems such as abuse can be seen as normal and that behavior will be projected towards you. Many men on ROK have said this is a deal breaker so nothing more needs to be said on the subject. We only spoke in Japanese with each other for a short time before he started to learn English, so he could communicate with me better. There had been two relationships that lasted for a while – with a Japanese guy and with a Korean guy. He always tells other people he is shy, but he’s actually super friendly and easy to talk to, which made our dating period go smoothly I think.
If you really love him, you are the one who need to be proactive and show your affection towards him.
First he just keep looking at me, even in the meeting, his eyes is just on me but he did not made any move. Don’t be too sesitive and selfconcious, just be who you are, try to understand him, communication is the point. Heaven’s forbid we actually wear the shirt outside; we just used them as sleep shirts so we looked adorable and matching within the safety of our own home. They think western men can give them more freedom and will open the way for them to be more independent in life.
This might sound too exaggerating but this is what really happens in many countries in Asia, especially in countries that people don’t speak English. However, I’ve seen way too many men criticize women as a whole but then start praising Eastern Asian women.
What I’ve experienced comes from dating Japanese women myself and speaking with foreign men that lives there. When it comes to making financial decisions, is also common for the wife to have the final say. I told her that I will do what I want with my money and that she has no business asking me about my financial assets. This will include your personal relationships when dating so be prepared for a barrage of passive aggressiveness. There is also the chance of her pulling off a disappearing act, leaving you wondering what the hell happened. I realised I was never going to want to marry him (not because he was Japanese, but just because he wasn’t the one), and so we had to break up. Any communication problems really don’t phase me because I think we care enough about each other to talk things out and try to understand each other!
I remember watching a Japanese dorama- Seiji no mikata- and the mother in law used to come at the newly weds’ house- when they were at work- only to check out how the daughter in law was doing the household. Then I say Ryosuke – with a pink bandana on his head (with “LOVE” written in giant, red letters), his “Thing 2” shirt, and a bouquet of flowers.
It doesn’t happen as often as countries like Russia, the USA, or the UK, but it still happens more than you think. Everyone knows that western culture is a very straightforward culture, and every Asian woman wants that in their love life. There is a huge emphasis on this and a strong aversion to complaining, even to your loved ones in private.
Many husbands and wives in Japan have their own mistresses and both are aware of it and don’t care. I met his parents pretty early on too, and even though they’re much older and seem pretty conservative, we get along fine.

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