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I had a face-to-face meeting with her this past weekend to share my concerns with her: lack of empathy, sympathy, not caring about the family, making us feel stupid when she's with us, etc.
I wonder sometimes if I should seek counseling, as a parent, to help me deal with the guilt I feel for not wanting to be with my daughter.
Living abroad as expatriate, I do not have an opportunity to see a professional to sort out my personal difficulties, so I revert to the internet for information. The issues I deal with, particularly the tricks I pull, the mechanisms I have constructed for myself in social (inter) actions, etc seem to be a combination of Histrionic and Narcissistic PD, and I want to find out how to distinguish these two PD's from another. Somnetimes I think I'd be better off dead or just swindling enough money to take off and live mortgage free in another country and forget about my family. My only issue now is that the 'damage' continues and she has managed to alienate herself from nearly all of her 4 children and grandchildren.
As weird as it may seem, 'falling in love with oneself' is the predominant characteristic trait of the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is typically characterized by a distorted self-image, intense emotions, intense love for self and an exaggerated sense of superiority. Narcissists are people who like being constantly admired, and they crave to be the center of attention.
These individuals often come across as exciting and entertaining, especially in the beginning, but beneath this garb of being happy-go-lucky, they are aggressive and highly manipulative in nature. Narcissists are always on the lookout for people who can help them maintain their high sense of self-image.
Narcissists are hypersensitive to insults, defeats and criticism, and often tend to react aggressively when faced with such situations. While it is easy to dismiss a person with a combination of these behavioral traits as being selfish or rude, one needs to understand that narcissistic behavior stems out of a deep sense of insecurity and low self-esteem. Even though narcissists are very bad at understanding human emotions, other people's needs and their feelings or viewpoints, it is not as if they can't do it. Narcissists appear very arrogant to people they interact with and they tend to sport an unnecessary attitude or ego, which they usually do to erect barriers around themselves. Narcissists are always envious of other people, and at the same time think that others are envious of them. Though it is difficult to figure out the exact causes of narcissistic personality disorder, experts are of the opinion that childhood trauma is one of the main factors contributing to the same. Manipulative as they are, they don't hesitate in playing the victim card when they realize that their assertiveness is not having the desired effect. Psychiatrists use specially designed assessment tools and interviews to ascertain whether the person is suffering from this personality disorder.
It is believed that psychotherapy or counseling can help a person come out of the trauma that triggers narcissistic personality disorder. Some psychologists are of the opinion that narcissism exists in every individual to some extent, and only when it crosses a certain limit does it amount to a disorder.
Pathological narcissism is a life-long pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition. He lied all the time, never had any empathy for me and others in his life, always made me feel like i was stupid and be littled me and others.
However, there is more to this seemingly weird behavior of a narcissist than what meets the eye - their behavior is usually a cover-up for their deep-rooted insecurities and hypersensitive nature. Self-esteem, self-focus, self-importance, etc., are a few terms which best define a narcissist. It isn't surprising that these people prefer being 'admired', rather than being 'liked' by others. They usually get a positive feedback from the people around them, which isn't surprising considering that the seductive charm of a narcissist is highly successful in blinding people - albeit, temporarily.
They themselves feel that they are very special, and hence deserve to be treated in a special manner.
The term has been derived from a Greek myth, wherein, a handsome young man named Narcissus falls in love with his own reflection when he sees it in a pool of water.
When rejected, they often end up overreacting, even going to the extent of punishing those who refuse to acknowledge their sense of grandiosity. In other words, these behavioral traits are the person's tools of defense mechanism, which are meant to conceal his issues with life.


What's interesting is that it doesn't take much time for the ego to take a back seat, and a warm smile to replace that arrogance, which can only happen when they want to make other people act on their terms.
They continue to live with these negative traits, treating them as though they are positive and helpful, even after knowing what others think about them. They set unrealistic goals for themselves, and don't hesitate in taking extreme measures to attain these goals. At times, people, especially women, continue their relationship with a narcissist, because they believe that they will be successful in changing that person - which seldom happens. This was revealed in a study conducted by psychologist Frederick Stinson and his colleagues, involving face-to-face interviews with 34,653 adults. In normal circumstances, when we know that the person with whom we are interacting has been a 'victim' (of anything, for that matter), we tend to go into a sympathetic mode, trying to console them. When we talk about narcissism, we often tend to focus on those behavioral traits associated with NPD.
The medical history and physical tests of the patient are taken into consideration during the diagnosis. At the same time, prescription drugs are helpful when it comes to treating the symptoms of distress that follow with this disorder. According to Freud, healthy narcissism is a must for normal development of an individual, as it forms a constant and realistic self-interest, and helps in setting mature goals and inculcating great values. While there is no doubt about the fact that narcissists are high on self-esteem, one shouldn't confuse self-esteem for narcissism. As the American psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman puts it, "these are the people who are likely to get enraged when told they aren't beautiful or brilliant, but aren't affected much if told they are jerks." Such is their egotistical preoccupation, that these people associate negative remarks with a false sense of superiority. In the long run, their true colors do surface, but then, it is usually too late for the person on the receiving end to change their initial attitude towards the narcissist.
This term was first used in the context of human mind and behavior by renowned Austrian psychiatrist, Sigmund Freud. Being on the receiving end of a narcissist's ire is never healthy for anyone, because revenge is usually a mission for them. And even when they do, they camouflage these emotions with rage, blame and disdain for others. When you are dealing with a skilled narcissist, you may not even notice that you are being 'exploited' - until it is too late. At times, they even go to the extent of concluding that the people around them are either jealous or simply not smart enough. By the onset of early adulthood, the trauma experienced in childhood engulfs the mind of the individual. Being self-centered, they consider themselves superior to others and go by the belief that the people around them are only meant to be used.
Other than the self-patronizing attitude, narcissism also comes with some negative add-ons. The concept of short-term flings or open-relationships is always appealing for narcissists, both men and women, as their relationships are more susceptible to eventual decline. This, in turn, makes us more vulnerable to exploitation by narcissists who are well-acquainted with the tricks of playing the victim. One needs to understand that narcissism in moderation, what is referred to as healthy narcissism, can help in personality development by making the person confident and self-sufficient. What is disheartening is the fact that a narcissist doesn't look at this disorder as a problem, which makes it difficult to convince him to opt for treatment. In excess though, it can be a disabling condition which can hamper the person's ability to develop healthy relationships.
He has only one friend and often would say to me, i dont know why people leave me but whenever i would tell him its because he's overly critical, and doesnt try to undserstand others problems he would go into a rage. An individual high on self-esteem can be humble, but the same cannot be said of a narcissist. Since narcissists are emotionally very shallow, they find it very easy to snap ties with people around them.
The proposal of excluding Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-V (due to be published in 2013) raised quite a few eyebrows, which isn't surprising considering that it is impossible to dismiss NPD cases as one-off incidents. Moreover, they don't make it obvious when they are hurt, either because they are introverts or simply because they can't see other people getting an upper hand over them.


For them, bragging is the most convenient method of getting the recognition that they rightfully deserve; and therefore they create a world of illusion, instead of trying to compensate for their insecurities. If it was not for their ability to understand emotions, they wouldn't have had been hypersensitive. Trying to get back at a narcissist is as good as making yourself more vulnerable to their onslaught. Narcissists go by the belief that ego, arrogance, self-righteousness, etc., are positive traits. Excessive pampering, parents pressurizing the child to do something in order to enhance their own self-esteem, neglect by the parents or abuse by elders are possible factors which can trigger this personality disorder.
These beliefs, along with their seductive charm, help them excel in certain fields like politics and showbiz, but their personal life is often centered around a web of deceit.
For instance, narcissists are more likely to cheat when they are in a committed relationship, as they believe that they can easily get away with it. There is no questioning the fact that being in relationship with a narcissist can be quite frustrating. While healthy narcissism is not really an issue, extreme narcissism is, and hence has to be properly dealt with.
I feel sorry for him, i wish i could have a way of telling him whats wrong so he can seek help but am afraid of him. It is possible to categorize narcissists into various groups with respect to their behavior. Narcissists are nothing short of self-centered individuals, who don't give a hoot about how others feel - even when they themselves are hypersensitive. It is simply the fact that they cannot think beyond themselves, and thus only understand their own emotions. This is true to an extent, but only in their case, because these are the traits which help them build protective barriers around them. Dependence on a narcissist is the perfect recipe for disaster, because it directly makes you vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation. But men are less likely to be bothered by narcissistic women, as they themselves are more keen on such flings and open relationships.
If you know that you are dealing with a narcissist, you are bound to be on guard - in that case, you are of no use to that person, and hence you are more likely to be dumped. Extreme narcissists will keep you close as long as you are useful for them, but when they realize that you have started figuring out what their motives are, they will quietly put you aside.
Some narcissists are more interested in manipulating or exploiting people, while others enjoy authority. Such behavior is usually attributed to a lack of empathy, or their inability to put themselves in other people's shoes. Yet, they will never show that they are capable of being emotional, for the fear of being 'used' by the other people. A person suffering from NPD is more likely to take to drug abuse and alcoholism as a means of coping with their difficulties.
Also, her sister has had a third baby and not only did she not respond to finding out about the pregnancy, she never called her sister during labor, delivery or after that. And I am hoping that you guys can give me advice on what to do, I am really looking forward I want to heal myself.
Similarly, some tend to overestimate their abilities, while a few others have high regards for their appearance or personality. This is a fear which stems from their belief that 'emotional fools' around them are only meant for being 'used' and taken advantage of.
I wish there were some way I could get him to therapy, but as the article states, he thinks he is superior to everyone else. I fear for her future, but I have now accepted nothing will ever change, I live with my 2nd wife and have a brilliant relationship with her sons and their partners, its a very sad situation, I believe that she could have become like this during the divorce, I also believe her grandfather (mother'side) also exhibited extreme narcissitic behaviour is there a connection ? As a daughter of a mother who for the past 47 years of my life, has treated her children like her own personal 'audience' and placed her self firmly at the centre of 'everything' as the most important person, around which everything must revolve..



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