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Each week, Popdust’s intrepid reporter, Suzy McCoppin, goes deep undercover in order to guide you through the potentially murky waters of cyber lovin‘. As Popdust reported in week one—Tinder is for people looking for no strings attached sexy time—Meanwhile, J Date is for people looking to get married, Farmers Only is for people looking to hoe, and for people who are looking to be forcibly sodomized and carved up with a set of antique surgical instruments, there is Craigslist Casual Encounters. Since I was unable to zero in on anyone in Craigslist Casual Encounters who I’d describe as my type, I decided to go a more practical route and let my finger do the walking over to the foot fetish section.
Anyway, the doctor said the best treatment for plantar fasciitis is regular massages and since Popdust’s salary doesn’t allow for luxuries like massages and say, food, I decided to combine this undercover endeavor into a melange of perverse practicality. I found my would-be masseuse in Heinrik, a pint-sized, flame-haired bassist for a Metallica cover band. Anyway, Amy—I mean Heinrik—was horny for some feet and it just so happened that I had two, so invited him in to admire the splendid canvas that is my diamond dogs.
Heinie, as I came to call him, only lasted one round before he again succumbed to their majesty.


Check back on Popdust every Friday for all new Adventures in Dating—next week—Farmers Only…. I do not have a foot fetish per se, but I do suffer from Plantar Fasciitis—a painful disorder of the ligaments characterized by inflammation or structural breakdown of the foot.
Not horny enough to do anything with him, mind you, at least anything above my ankles, but maybe I thought about him later that night. And maybe he posted this add in 2008, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is possibly the best guy ever.
Heinrik would confirm this when I peeled off my socks and spun them over my head like Rita Hayworth. He does not appear to discriminate based on age, he’s very generous with his shell fish, he’s got 4 AM caliber stamina and a HO train set!
I was surprised that at, a 5’5, (5’6 with orthodics), I had to stare down to look him in the eye.


It’s also the reason my friend Melissa masturbates to the homeless man outside of Trader Joe’s who said, “I like pussy,” when she walked by, carrying her bag of organic frozen brussel sprouts and Inner Peas.
His hair was a cascading mane of scarlet splendor and I suspect from the back he could have been easily mistaken for Amy Adams. He fell to his knees, awestruck by my “symmetry” and “texture,” and commenced the foot worshipping portion of the evening, which sadly consisted of a lot of licking, which in no way alleviated my plantar fasciitis and also tickled.
Aka: James Morrison, Francis Takyi, Quarshie Mawutor, Michael Page, Mark Larry, Kenneth Hamilton, Robert Jabron .



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