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No, seriously, Chance is maybe the worst-composed disaster currently being sold in my local mall (bar those tropical nightmare things Bath & Body Works is flogging at the moment). Clinique Aromatics Elixir – The second time I went by the Clinique counter there was a different SA manning it, not the one who had told me that she didn’t have a tester for Aromatics Elixir. However, AE may just be the winner of round IV, because it ACTUALLY HAS A SMELL THAT IS NOT GLORIFIED SHOWER GEL.
Further edit: three days later, the scent strip with AE on it smells lovely, a nice floral-soapy thing with plenty of waft. Maybe I’m confusing it with another perfume, but I seem to remember thinking Chance was not that bad on my skin. I just went back and read the full list, and I do actually like one of the Top 20: Sensuous Nude. Many years ago when they’ve just released Chance and I was still wearing predominantly mainstream perfumes, I worked really hard on getting to like Chance. Good to know – this last bunch was so awful that writing snarky reviews was the only way to get some pleasure out of them. Chance!) that the tester at my mall has just gone off, I tried it from a pristine spray sample offered me by the lovely Chanel SA. I will admit to kind of liking Burberry Body, there are times while I like that kind of very light, humming skin scent.
The only thing on this list I’ve tried is Aromatics Elixir, and it was HORRIBLE on me. Chickened out and put it on a scent strip… which made the drive home with The CEO a little, um, fraught.

I get green notes – herbal stuff and patchouli and moss – and, I think, marigold and jasmine or other white florals, and some labdanum and a huuuge geranium-rose in there someplace, as well as some woody notes, possibly cedar. Something I don’t like is, unbelievably, the best-smelling fragrance of the Part IV bunch.
Honestly, when Tresor Midnight Rose is the best-smelling thing you try at the fragrance counter, how can you not be depressed?
Which is really too bad, because it’s the signature scent of the aide Spud had last year, and she smelled amazing in it. By the time I walked out I had my nose glued to my wrist trying to smell it so I could figure out what it smelled like. I have, over the past couple of years, smelled everything they have, everything – and nothing is more dreadful than Chance.
Pale florals, pale woods (cedar?), something that reminds me of green tea, and white musk follow the citrus-hyacinth top, and it lasts about three hours.
We’d been chatting idly about how everything at the mall counter seems to smell exactly like everything else, all glorified shower gel. Also some of that balsamic thing that I really hate but which fits here with the balsamic-patchouli-woody character.
Went to look at nail polish with my daughter and I swear in the time it took for her to pick two colors and me to pay I could not smell anything at all. Body radiates about half an inch from my skin, even sprayed liberally, and I imagine that’s what its wearers really like about it. So then I took the AE scent strip out of the little Belk bag the nice Chanel SA had been so kind as to give me, as a sort of refutation that eeeeverything smells like shower gel.

If you bathed in it and walked out the door to choir practice, not even that prima donna first soprano who claims her throat closes up when she smells perfume would notice.
Tested it twice, two hefty sprays in the same place both times, using the “spray-until-wet” technique that usually works to keep light scents like Goutal florals in place for more than nanoseconds.
I mean, it’s distinctive all right, and I honestly think I could handle smelling it on someone else better than I could on me, but pee? Not Youth Dew, which I also hate to the depths of my being, but which at the very least smells like it was meant to smell. By the time I made it to the end of the parking lot to cross the street to walk home, I was back to barely being able to smell thing. The funny thing is, I usually like blackcurrant buds, and they don’t usually smell like pee to me. I thought my sense of smell was going and that the only scents I’d be able to smell are the sillage bombs like AE. Edit: the notes list indicates sage, which Luca Turin mentions as smelling urinous to some people.

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