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Parents who subscribe to Attachment Parenting (AP) commonly co-sleep with their infants either in the same bed or at least in the same room. Proponents of co-sleeping claim it leads to more independent, confident or outgoing children, or that sleep sharing somehow leads to a child with higher self-esteem.
More Bonding Time – Sleeping together allows for extra time spent enjoying and building a close relationship with your baby. Simple Soothing  – Co-sleeping makes it easier to respond to babies, so they may fall asleep faster when they wake during the night and cry less.
Decrease Risk of SIDS – Studies show that less Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is reported for babies who co-sleep.
Less Rest – Sharing a bed with an infant can take time to get used to, and parents may not sleep as well when bed-sharing with baby. More Challenging Intimacy – Co-sleeping forces parents to compromise in terms of their love-making in bed. Sleeping, waking, and often feeding at the same time to establish a routine that works with your baby’s own biological clock while not confusing day and night. A quiet, safe, separate sleep environment for babies that provides a comforting atmosphere without distraction.
Following a nightly, pre-sleep routine, such as a warm bath, some quiet time spent together and feeding before bed time. Teaching baby to fall asleep on her own with minimal distress and without being nursed, rocked, or bounced to sleep. Critics of baby sleep training believe that leaving a baby to cry herself to sleep is not only cruel and heartless, but also detrimental to babies’ emotional development and may cause unnecessary or even harmful physical distress.
Proponents believe that baby sleep training is the swiftest way to teach good sleep habits as well as providing a healthy, restful environment for the whole family. More Sleep – Once a sleep routine is established, the whole family sleeps for longer stretches uninterrupted.
Good separation = good connection – Parenting requires constant attention and connection to your child.
Front Loaded Effort – During the early days of establishing a routine (when a new mother is already exhausted and overwhelmed from birth, breastfeeding, and adjusting to a new baby), mama may get less sleep and feel more stressed as she must wake at night to go to baby for feedings. Less Flexibility – Scheduled babies are best kept to their routine on a regular basis.
Anecdotally, I don’t find this (what Dan said about co-sleepers being more self-confident and independent) to be true among lots of people with small children that I know.
Do you think the co sleeping helped your baby be comforted enough to sleep on her own later?
I think Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution does have a section on older babies. We have been using this night-weaning method with some success (link below) for our almost 2 year old co-sleeping little boy. I wanted to add that I do believe that some babies just have a REALLY hard time sleeping and need to cry to learn to sleep. So the night he turned 6 months we started cry-it-out sleep training, and there was a lot of crying. Newborns to 2.5 month old babies are overwhelmed by their emotions- according to research- so sleep training at that time is not a good idea.
Just objectively, everything else was tried and she waited until her baby was 6 months old to sleep train. As a side note, before I got pregnant and til my son turned 12 months, I had no clue what “Attachment Parenting” was. Although the sleep training challenges that toddlers bring are a very different sort, a lot of the ways to address them are the same. It’s a bit harder to keep toddlers on any kind of routine, just because their days are so filled with wanton chaos. Upstairs for diaper change and pajamas. The boys get a nighttime diaper, and our daughter goes potty. The crib is a safe and contained place for a toddler to sleep as long as he can’t climb out of it.
Our toddlers are good sleepers, but they’re also easily woken by errant noises or (as happened this morning) bright sunlight.
We use room-darkening shades and heavy curtains to block out sunlight, and have a fan to provide the steady background hum that drowns out noises.
Until recently, we used a pacifier as the last touch that comforted our toddlers as we left the room at night. Taking walks around the neighborhood, either in the stroller or (if we’re adventurous) walking on their own.
Backyard play on the swing set or their ride-on toys (see this article on the best ride-on toys for toddlers). Our boys, at two and a half, need about 14 hours per day: a 2 hour nap and 12 hours overnight. There’s just something to be said for the soft, content sigh of a toddler settling down into his bed. Baby Sleep Training 101 is our definitive guide to establishing healthy baby sleep habits and teaching your baby to sleep through the night. One Week to Better Baby Sleep HabitsAt eight months, one of my twins suddenly started waking up in the middle of the night. Sleep training is on hold as teething went into overdrive during the last week, and yesterday his first tooth made an appearance! My DD is -15 weeks now and I don’t know what happened in the last 2-3 weeks- she is a completely different baby. I’m going back to work next week and on Monday when I discovered your site I started an attempt to sleep train her. Baby sleep problems, including early wake-ups, trouble falling asleep, not sleeping in the crib, etc.
Baby Sleep Training 101 also makes a great gift for parents, nannies, or babysitters who might appreciate a little help!
Thanks to daytime employment, we have access to all of the current research by groups such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).
The Myth of Baby Sleep PositionersHaving a newborn changes your life in numerous ways, one of which is that you worry a lot more. Stevens Leave a Comment Your baby is fussy, your nights are disrupted and you both wake up cranky the next day. The biggest tip for initiating sleep training routines during the newborn stage, she says, is to avoid nursing your baby to sleep. They suggest that you allow about two weeks for your baby to adjust and settle into her new routine, but you’ll likely see progress within three to four days.

From family beds to cry-it-out, sleep methods are a highly controversial topic among parents and professionals alike. As with more mainstream sleep strategies, there are pros and cons, myths and realities to co-sleeping and AP methods. While it remains to be seen if co-sleeping will influence your baby’s personality, the bonding experience that may occur for mom and dad may boost their own self-esteem as parents. Additionally, transitioning from co-sleeping to solitary sleeping is usually difficult and may lead to bed-sharing when it no longer works for everyone involved. Though it’s possible to get creative, the demands of having a baby tend to overshadow inventive sex. Sleep-trained babies typically sleep in their own room in their own crib, although co-sleeping families can utilize routines as well. Older babies (especially beyond 6 months) may require a bit more crying before they give up their co-sleeping habits, but the transition can usually occur within 3 consecutive nights of a new routine.
Allowing a baby that is not hungry, sick, stuck in a dirty diaper or otherwise in need of physical care to cry a bit while learning to soothe herself to sleep is normal and not torture. Having the ability to unplug and recharge allows for better bonding and connection during the waking hours.
It may be frustrating and seem like baby will never catch on for the first several weeks of trying. This may not work for parents who prefer to take the baby along to social engagements on a regular basis or are just not good with sticking to a schedule.
As the parent to your child, it is up to you to pay attention to what feels right regarding sleeping arrangements (and all other decisions). Both the co-sleepers and the sleep trainers seem to have quite healthy, well-attached kiddos, all with phases of clinginess or dependence.
I was able to just scoop my daughter in one arm and slide her over to me to nurse in the middle of the night and we often just fell asleep like this unless I was somehow able to stay alert enough through the nursing to return her to her own sleeping space. My point is, it’s hard for ALL parents when it comes to not getting enough sleep and all parents go through it.
Again at 4-5.5 months babies enter the time in their lives when they start to interact with their parents-smiling, giggling and tickling games begin to click or work with a baby and in order for that to happen there is something called an expected response that needs to occur. Nothing Janna did was wrong or cruel in any way, she just presented her particularly difficult situation and how she handled it to a forum of moms who are supposed to help one another. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell what that reason is but I noticed he became a better sleeper without me having to “sleep train” him. I read a bunch of breastfeeding books and basically, followed my instincts for the first year. The good news is that, whether or not you succeed, your baby will eventually learn to sleep at night.
Even if it’s late, we spend 5-10 minutes each night with each toddler reading a couple of our favorite bedtime baby books. We tuck them in bed with their favorite Aden+Anais blankets, put in their music box, turn off the light, and leave the room.
She’s mature for her age, and had two little brothers on the way, but honestly I think it was too soon. The problem is that toddlers are usually excited about being awake and playing with their toys. That’s when I throw out the shoulda woulda couldas and wrap myself in a 35-foot roll of cheats like this guy. This article offers a suggested schedule (read SUGGESTED twice, since babies have a mind of their own sometimes and some just don’t like being suggested to) for a 6-9 month old baby. One that lets you be the parent and teach a skill (sleeping), but also acknowledges that some babies need emotional support and encouragement that you are there, and won’t leave them. For me with my four kids it’s always good to keep average (in terms of sleep and really most anything parenting related) in perspective. My husband and I even tried the cry it out method for a few nights which was stressful for all of us, during this time my son got the cold and so we quit.
I’ve taken to reading the newborn and 2-3 month sleeping schedule recently and I have a question. Do you think we should wait to use the shuffle with him until his 4-month sleep regression and 4th wonder week is over? This is the first article I’ve seen with gradually moving out of the babies room once they have fallen asleep. She slept from 9 to 4 since she was a couple of weeks old, and she changed into this baby waking up every 1-2 hours after 12:30.
The room is dark at night, got an app for white noise, made some adjustments to the crib, since I noticed she likes sleeping in our bed, I feed her and try to put her down sleepy.
Baby Sleep Training 101 is the comprehensive guide to baby sleep training, and you can have it for  $1.99 through September 30th! Though parents of babies expect to lose a little shut-eye, there are still ways you can help your infant sleep soundly. When she's not chasing her precocious preschooler, Lauren pens hilarious and heartwarming stories about her life as a mother, ghostwrites blogs for businesses, and sometimes even finds the time to write a bit of creative non-fiction. As long as you and your partner do not smoke or over-use alcohol or drugs and your mattress is firm, your baby should be safe in your bed. You will also need a baby monitor to listen for baby’s cries from your room at night and black-out curtains to simulate night during nap times. What I realized as she was growing was that it was becoming harder for her to fall back asleep because she could see me and wanted to play in the middle of the night.
I am reading these posts of parents who care enough to talk about this, and I am so touched.
The parent responds to their baby’s actions which in turn leads to a stronger bond between the baby and parent. One of my 3 was a high needs baby and if I didn’t catch his sleepy cues in time and get him to bed, I had a choice to either hold him and try to nurse him while he arched and screamed, or swaddle him and put him in his quiet dark crib where he would cry for a few minutes and fall asleep. I say that because my son would only really nurse well once or twice per night (10 – 15 minutes) the rest of the time he would suckle for 5-10 seconds and fall back asleep.
It will be interesting to see if he’ll finally start sleeping consistently through the night without my interference to “sleep train” him. After some success with my own three toddlers, I thought I’d share these ten simple rules for toddler sleep training in case they help you.
In the last go-round, we moved their mattresses to the floor (they’re just tall enough to form a barrier with the base of the crib), effectively making it super-deep.
Once we had to wean our babies from the pacifier, however, we couldn’t do that any longer. We’ve found, though, that our toddlers do better when they have a consistent (and relatively early) bedtime.

The more energy you can burn off, the more willing your toddler will be to fall asleep when it’s time. They would often rather stay awake and have fun, and they realize that by crying a lot, they just might get it. My son started walking early, so when we lay him down in his crib he would just stand there crying. If you’d like to attend the Napping Know-How Webinar, let me know what time you think would be most convenient for Aussie parents! I manage to put her to sleep in the crib in about 20 -30 minutes, but she wakes up and she screams at every attempt to calm her down.
Baby sleep training benefits the entire family and ensures that everyone is well rested and able to function productively. This may be die-hard attachment parenting, conventional baby sleep training, or somewhere in between. We detached the co-sleeper from the bed and dropped the bottom so it was more like a playpen and that seemed to solve the problem for about a month. Of course, then he is waking up to nurse every 45-90 minutes after that, and after almost 2 years I’m really feeling a need to change things. I personally wanted my baby to know that when he cried I would respond by being there for him. Most women these days are making choices that are, yes, best for THEM not best for their CHILDREN.
I feel relieved that I finally found a style of parenting that was more in line with what I have been doing. The boys only really got into this when they turned two, but once they learned to sit still long enough, we made it part of the routine.
She kept getting out and coming downstairs, or (once we gated off the door to her room) crying for us at the gate. As long as toddlers are in the crib, they really have just two choices: (1) go to sleep, or (2) cry a bit and then go to sleep. After 4 years of fertility treatments, I finally had a baby 4 months ago, so I have been happily rocking him to sleep in my arms every night (and truly enjoying it). And then she started sleeping so lightly that every night when I crept into the room to go to sleep, she would wake and, therefore, need to be nursed and taken to the potty (this was around 7 months and we practice part-time EC).
Furthermore, since he sleeps some nights better than other nights this suggests that he only needs comfort when he wakes up frequently.
Yes, they’re capable of staying up later, but sometimes they end up a bit crankier the next day. So I guess, in this case, my anti-zombie policy is a little stronger than my anti-cheating policy. However, my pediatrician decided to spoil my fun and said he had to learn to fall asleep on his own. I’m thinking that what I have to do is go into his room and sooth him back to sleep -is this correct? Last night he cried for 40 mins before I couldn’t handle it and picked him up and rocked him then eventually nursed him.
Also my hubby and I have to get really good at detecting his sleepy cues I think we keep missing them so by the time we try to put him to bed, cortisol is already doing its number on him poor guy. My husband and I decided to sleep in another room one night to see how long she would sleep if we weren’t in there disturbing her and she slept 10 hours straight for the first time! Gordon’s plan seems gentle in that you do not leave your child alone- but they DO cry when they realize they are not going to get to go to sleep their usual way.
If your baby is doing well with sleep training and that’s what works for the family- great. My goal here is to help you train your baby to sleep well for you, consistently, and as soon as possible. He sleeps great through the night, about 10 hours (I know, we hit the jackpot on that one) – trouble is, he falls asleep at 6pm and wakes up around 4am. I think that one of the biggest mistake was that I breastfed her every time she went to sleep at night (sometimes during the day too ), until she was sound asleep the moved her in the crib. The nights during which he mostly sleeps he must have felt content because he did not wake up. If we’re visiting friends or relatives in the evening, we keep an eye on the clock and leave before it gets too late.
It’s a worthy cause.  Does the ends (sleeping peacefully) justify the means (using sample schedules)? They will sleep everywhere else, but lay that back down on a flat surface surrounded by wooden slats and their spidee-sense kicks into overdrive, setting of the scream siren. We would love to move his bedtime just 1 hour later, but all attempts to do so have failed miserably. Since the crib is in our bedroom and my husband needs to sleep to go to work, I never let her cry at night. The first time I set her down for a nap in her new bed and surroundings, she cried in protest for about 15 minutes and fell asleep but didn’t cry at all when I set her in there for the night. Btw I would love to attend your webinar but I’m in Australia so the times are not good.
Since she woke up so frecquently I would nurse her in bed next to me, and I would fall asleep too. If you can do without the swing, awesome, but if she needs it at this point, that’s okay because sleep is most important. She sleeps much better now and I can even sometimes hear her just babbling and playing in the mornings instead of flat-out crying because she sees me and I haven’t quite woken up to come to her.
I think my brain is a bit addled at the moment from lack of sleep but I’m a bit confused cos the sleep lady advises against sleep training too early but then how do I go about gently guiding him? I was able to put her back in the crib at the beginning, but lately she would cry at the mere attempt to put her in th crib, and I ended up with her in our bed for almost the entire night.
The easiest way to set up a baby sleep schedule is to harness that rhythm and tweak it softly for a predictable routine. I just wanted to post this for any parents who might be undecided about their approach on this part of child-rearing and let you know that even if you have a plan in mind, sometimes you need to just go with the flow.

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