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Little did we know on that last Sunday in October of 1993 God was about to set us on a journey of preparation for the hard work ahead of us. It never occurred to us that our marriage might need some construction work in order to strengthen the infrastructure and make it strong enough to withstand some major storms that were on the horizon; I think it’s probably good that we didn’t know. Those words were spoken to me following a church service where our pastor was speaking on the topic of marriage. We were headed into the second decade of our marriage with two children in our home and another on the way. Our search for a church put us in a place where a young man our age (hey it was 20 years ago, we really were young back then!) passionately preached the word of God and taught us to view all that was going on in our lives through the Biblical lens of the Word of God. Little did we know that all those tears that were shed that brought us to the doors of that church were simply being used to soften the soil of our souls and get us ready for the work that was about to commence in every area of our lives. But here’s the thing, if we are willing to be trained by it, if we don’t give up and throw in the towel, if we trust God even if we don’t understand, there is a huge benefit. Marrying her high school sweetheart in 1983 has resulted in a home filled with five great kids, a wonderful son-in-law, AND an adorable grandson!

From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears.
Please also write your brief comment at the end of this page under the heading “Leave a Reply here”. God was at work, even when it didn’t make any sense; perhaps especially when it didn’t make any sense. In marriage, in parenting, in finances, in relationships, in hard times, in boring times, in frustrating times, in anxious times, if we can just keep our focus on the fact that God is at work, He loves us, is for us, and will be our strength in the midst of hard work. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you. Honestly, I don’t remember ever saying those words to him but they are true, a successful marriage is hard work.
Up to then we had been coasting through marriage, perhaps even coasting through life – taking it as it came, reacting to the loudest call, responding when necessary, ignoring what we could and not being proactive about many things, too many things.

We knew it was time for us to leave when a conference pastor challenged us on our belief of whether the Bible was true, every word. We fully believe that if the Bible said it happened then, even if we couldn’t understand how or why, it happened. Finding ourselves at an impasse with leadership we had the choice to stay and fight for what we believed or leave and find a church that taught what we believed. I’m sure many would say easy, when it came to fight or flight we fled; but in reality leaving looks a lot easier than it really is.

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