College, the greatest 4-13 years of your life, is filled with so many lessons that most of them whip by without you even noticing. Unless you’re a time traveler from the 1920s, wearing a fedora makes you king of all doofs. The TP Seat should be for public bathrooms only, not your frat-house-level filthy pee room.
Your friend with the chin beard will always go to the bar, but he’ll never give you back those 20 bucks.


If you show up to places in sweatpants, you’ll act like you showed up to places in sweatpants. You planned on doing a lot of other things this summer, too, and ended up doing very few of them. Clean up after yourself, and you won’t have to worry about your roommate doing terrible, awful things to you in your sleep. So here are all the times when you can and should pull the fedora out of the closet…just please never take it out for any other reason ever again.


Going to a movie, a game or a concert can be a great night — but inviting yourself to their anniversary dinner might be a little tricky.



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