I can’t even tell you how excited I am to introduce you to my friend Melanie Shankle, aka Big Mama.
Because as much as we walk down that long center aisle wearing a gorgeous white gown, our own version of Wedding Day Barbie, with stars in our eyes, the reality soon sinks in that sometimes marriage is hard.A  And those glossy 8 x 10 photos from the wedding day that sit framed on our bookshelves are the only thing that remain of all our dreams of being the best married couple ever.A  You know?A  That couple that sits holding hands across the table at a restaurant while they throw their heads back in laughter?
Dona€™t forget to carve out time to spend together as a couple.A  Those kids that can take up every minute of your time will be gone one day and you dona€™t want to look across the table at a spouse whoa€™s become a stranger while you were busy driving carpool.
Some of the biggest fights wea€™ve had throughout our marriage are the ones that come after one of us (usually me, if Ia€™m being honest) has let resentment build up over a lot of little things that then become a big thing.A  The next thing you know, wea€™re yelling at each other over the water bill and that isna€™t even the real problem because the real problem began a month ago when I thought he wasna€™t helping me enough around the house and being generally selfish. Sometimes I hear about couples who are getting divorced after thirty-five years of marriage and always kind of feel like, a€?Whata€™s the point?a€?A  Because it seems like if youa€™ve made it that long, then you can stick with it for the duration. Ultimately, God gave us this person because he knows our strengths and weaknesses and where we are in need of a person who will refine us and sharpen us and make us better than we would be if left to our own ways.A  Ita€™s not always easy, but in the end ita€™s always worth it. Melanie Shankle lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, Perry, and daughter, Caroline. Subscribing via email is the best way to stay connected to all the fun stuff happening here at Living Well Spending Less, and we invite you to join more than 300,000 subscribers in receiving regular updates!
Michelle, I love the question you ask yourself about the argument being big enough to separate over. Married for two years 4 months… 3 years ago, his family chose to walk out on both of our lives. Maria, Your heart is breaking inside and you feel like you are suffocating from the inside out. Love this article, my childhood sweetheart and I have been married 42 yrs, when we married I was 17 and he was 18. I went to a great workshop the other night called Putting the Fun & Romance Back into your Marriage. My dad has always told us that the best way to show love to your children, is to love their mother.
As a mom, it is really easy to focus on my kids (who are very demanding of my time and attention), but at the end of a long day sometimes the last thing I want to do is then shift gears to talk to anyone else- even if that other person is my spouse.
The workshop was a great reminder of things that I can (and should) be doing daily to make my marriage thrive. Spending time with your spouse doesn't mean you have to go out or spend money, but it does mean that you plan specific things to do together that allow you to build on your relationship as a couple.
I want my kids to have amazing marriages and I want them to be successful in their relationships with friends. PS- Do you think my husband is going to kill me for posting this photo of us at the top of this post? A I’ll spare you the boring details of how we met, suffice to say it involved much laughter (and a little wine) and an instant realization that she is my kind of people. Our newsletter offers a weekly dose of inspiration & encouragement, and many of our readers tell us it is the highlight of their week! I have have been with my man for 9 years and living with him for 5 years and I have definitely thought that to myself a few times. I often have a hard time putting into words what I am feeling so I know my husband feels the same.
You shouldn’t be looking at yourself for answers as big as how a marriage should work because you are not even close to understanding the bigger picture a marriage is in Gods view (no one is).
Something I’ve learned already that made a tremendous difference in our marriage was to remember to appreciate my husband for all he does for me. Oddly enough, I recently had this conversation with my daughters and one asked me why he and I are still together.
There’s more to disagree about and more to be passionate about and all with less time to enjoy each other. We raised 2 kids and believe me it took a lot of hard work, there were definitely bumpy roads along the way. I also think that many of these reminders allow us as parents to help teach our children so many important things- such an unselfishness, kindness, and dedication.

As a couple I think it is awesome if you can start over with a clean slate each day and recommit yourself to making your marriage fabulous. Sit down with your spouse and ask, "What can I do for you to make you feel loved?" Have your spouse ask you the same question.
Be a role model for your children of the type of partner they have the potential to become. If everyone tries to give 50% in marriage, but someone fails on that again and again, then you're never at 100%. A She is an expert at finding the humor in the little things, and most days I can hardly wait to read her daily post over my morning cup of coffee. Her first book, Sparkly Green Earrings , came out in February 2013 and debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list. I began feeling like it was my job to fix all his imperfections and our relationship was going downhill fast, but then I realized that my job is not to fix him, but to love and support him. I would love to hear your tips regarding how you work to make your marriage thrive in the comments below, so definitely share them!
This requires letting go of grudges and forgiving and forgetting (and not bringing up sore subjects over and over again). I think there are definitely seasons of life when we are busier or more tired as parents, so scheduling a date is hard.
Everyone has a different love language, so talking with your spouse about this can't help but yield positive results. I notice that when I focus on the positive things my spouse does, I am happier, and then my kids are happier too. On Saturday night we went on an amazing date that my friend created and it was such a fun change from the norm.
My husband knows this and so we usually spend time together doing dishes on Sunday nights (when kids are occupied or asleep). Sometimes as a spouse I am selfish of my "alone" time or even silly things (like my treats), because I get tired of sharing with just one more person.
One thing that our workshop mentioned is that marital problems are sometimes signals that a couple needs to learn new skills to create a happy relationship. I am always working on thinking before I really complain because I sure don’t want my future kids to see me complaining all day.
Very different reasons not married but living together for almost 3 years with 2 kidd is a challenge with only me trying to hold it all together. I kept reminding myself of all the reasons I fell in love with him and began thanking him for all he does for me and our children. After many fights, and an ended engagement we figured out that when our emotions were just to high we would take out our notebook and write out our feelings. After 24 years together, my husband and I both wonder what the hell we’re doing together and yet. Apart, we’d be terrible and our lives, our children and everyone around us, both of us included, would suffer. That time before bed is used hopefully not all on catching up, but hopefully some time to sit together, talk, watch, a TV show whatever just give each other some love and affection……which is why I should get off the computer now!!!
I didn’t marry him because I wanted to be taken care of financially, or have pretty things or go on expensive trips. I actually love routine, but I also think the idea of trying new things together helps keep things fun. Life has been going, going, going with lots of work travel for my husband so connecting has been challenging to say the least. A She captures perfectly andA poignantly the ups and downs of being married to someone who is both your polar opposite and your best friend. If we have a bad day, we talk about how tomorrow we're going to have a do-over and make things better the next day. We really have a good time catching up with one another and then we start off the new week with a clean kitchen.

My husband has been amazingly unselfish this year and has watched our kids while I've gone on three different girls trips. There are some weeks when we just go through the motions and are like passing ships in the night with busy schedules. Im only 30… I gave him almost 9 years… if we truly live a twilight zone of thee same issues and same words, isnt it true that someone has to just walk away???
It has helped us in so many ways as it gave us a way to actually communicate and connect again.
I have to resist the urge to bring up past events and instead focus on the positive things ahead!
My favorite thing to do with my husband is to sit at the kitchen table while he makes us a late night treat- carmelitas or peanut butter bars. Working together as a couple also reminds me how important it is for us to work together with our kids. Leaving nice notes in shoes, buying each other special treats, or even just sending a sweet text during the day are simple ways to still be nurturing your relationship during those times that are crazy or tough! One thing I try to do is to always kiss my husband before we go to sleep, when we wake up and when one of us is leaving the house.
When I get frustrated by one of his faults, we definitely discuss it if it is a big enough issue, but I don’t let myself get bitter about it, I just remind myself and him how much he does for me and how much I appreciate it. I have also learned that while I have written off his brother and sister in law due to their actions and behavior towards me, it doesnt mean that I have the right to tell him he cant have a relationship with his brother (not that i put him in that position). I am always amazed at how much better of a parenting team we are when we have 1:1 time together to just have fun together (and eat our treats). Help can come from a therapist, another couple you trust, supportive parents, or other resources like marriage classes and books. We always hug, especially in front of the children, which is important especially when there might not be a lot of energy and time for much more than that gesture! It’s been a few weeks now, and I love it, but blogging is definitely a long-term thing. I think this teaches our kids that each member of our family is important and deserves special attention.
Recognizing that you need help and being willing to ask for it is a great skill to demonstrate to your kids.
In the meantime, I really appreciate following successful bloggers such as yourselves for inspiration and motivation. Even if your husband does hardly anything, genuinely thank him for what he does do and you will be amazed at the response!
Ours is certainly not a perfect marriage, but at the end of the day, we love each other and are ready to do it again the next day. Its hard to sit back and know there is nothing you can do to help your spouse through a difficult time.
I know you like no one I have ever known, and sometimes I wonder what I’d do if you were gone? Meeting you has changed my life and I really love you so, the feelings I feel for you I am never letting go. I fear that I am not at all what you need And that this truth will make my heart break and bleed.Then I sit here and wipe away my tears Wishing you could kiss away my fears If only you knew how much. Hope you like these quotes with pictures DISCLAIMER: All images are copyrighted by their respective authors.

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Comments to «How do i make my husband to love me more again»

  1. KrIsTi writes:
    All around the world as soon as my boyfriend return.
  2. dinamshica writes:
    You just say that a TV present.