As hottie experts we are used to suffering the slings and arrows of misfortune, which, more often than not, take the form of finding out that another one of favourite barristers is off the market. Welcome to our latest list, featuring Britain’s hottest junior barristers under 5 years of call!
Is there a new female tenant in your set that makes you weak at the knees with her sharp intelligence and killer smile?
Find his car in a parking lot and use shoe polish to write your invitation on one of the windows (avoid the windshield or back window).
A week after the Oscars (which nobody gave a crap about), we are playing matchmaker and listing the movie stars we think pair best with some of the UK’s Hottest Junior Barristers!!
Before you find yourself standing nervously in front of a guy with no idea what to say, consider some fun, relaxed ways to ask him out. Attach a sticky note with a smiley face and "When you're done studying, want to go to the dance with me?" Make it extra cute with "Check 'Yes' or 'No' below. Drop it by his table at lunch and tell him you hope he likes his fortune, then wait for his smile at your creativity. Neither the service provider nor the domain owner maintain any relationship with the advertisers. George saw Amal on our blog, so why shouldn’t other stars look to the British legal scene for a bit of romance? They are the bright young things who arrived at your chambers only recently, and have been causing lots of giggling and gossip ever since. On the other hand, it may comfort you to know that you probably never had a chance with Nick anyway.
All you have to do is go through their very amateur candidate photos (don’t they have advisers or image consultants on hand? In case of trademark issues please contact the domain owner directly (contact information can be found in whois). If you know of someone who deserves to be amongst the fittest junior barristers in the UK, email us!
Compared to America this election is very low-rent) in order to get their not so subliminal message: we are posh, or at least we’d really like to be!
You could also learn calligraphy (or hire someone who knows how to do it) and write and mail him a formal letter and invitation on vellum-like paper. The creative, old-fashioned touch may really appeal to him and make you seem even more exciting. Sorry Amal but jowly, ageing, tequila-stuffed George is NOTHING in comparison to this strapping ken doll of a man with a brain to match and connections coming out of his ears. And no doubt she would lend credibility to his campaign to be seen as a serious, grown-up ac-TOR and enlightened advocate for icebergs and baby polar bears.
So what has come of it? Here we present some of the nominations that have dropped into our inbox over the past several months. Post a picture of him and one of you with a plus sign between the two, then an equals sign and a question mark.
His mother is top judge Dame Heather Hallett and he has married a tall, horsey babe with the strong, shapely pins and a very useful address book.
Underneath, write "So, want to go to the dance with me?" Email him the link or post it to his wall. But just like Clooney went somewhat against the grain by choosing Amal, we think Leo could conceivably settle down with someone with dark locks. They may not have fit the five years of call criteria, or we may be saving them for another list. Instead of spending her days grinning for the cameras alongside the least sexist man alive, she’s now wedding Nick, who is possibly prettier than any of them. We have to hand it to him for sending his son the local state school and appreciate that he was the first person in his family to go to university, but must he pose like an off duty Californian fireman (baggy jeans and flannel) from the 1990s?Mark Harper (Forest of Dean) is another candidate who wishes to appear like a child of nature, or at least a child of the kind of well-tended, civilised nature that England does best. Olivia, who works for some hotelier called Andre Balazs, is eminently suited to her role as posh totty.
Mark’s photo should help us to imagine a world where everyone has a steady job but dull job in accounting (he is a Chartered Accountant who has worked at KPMG and Intel), a charming blonde wife and a couple of well adjusted children. She has spectacular legs, a mane of long blonde hair and a pretty (if slightly equine) face. If only it could be so easy! Simon Kirby (Brighton Kemptown) looks like a perfectly loveable guy but with that verdant backdrop, badly cut suit and fuschia pocket square (or pockerchief if you prefer) he is most definitely a Tory.


For one thing, she likes rugby players, as evidenced by her long-term relationship with Oxford Uni rugby captain Matt Janey. In December 2014, Matthew apparently gave a lecture at Newcastle Uni, and he seemed to set a few student hearts aflutter.
We think he fancies himself to be a bit of silver fox, and we will admit that this his grey quiff is quite impressive! The Squirarchy David Burrows (Enfield Southgate) looks like another conquering white man at the top of his game. Standing in a playing field with a church spire behind him, he could be a country vicar or a much loved headmaster at a minor public school. She’s clearly clever, and appreciates the same in a man, a box which Oxford-educated Chris more than ticks. Thanks!) As for Nick, as you no doubt know, he’s the son of eminent judge Dame Heather Hallet, and works in family law at the prestigious 1 Hare Court. Certainly, his expression is kindly but free of the self-doubt or anguish that afflicts the best of us at times. Harriet was nominated by two people who had clearly not colluded, and while we were delighted to feature such a beauty, we couldn’t help but feel envy rising from the depths.
He was very hot, quite tall and had a chiselled jaw, plus he was pretty well dressed too.Definitely boyfriend material! He’s a bit old (33!) to be getting married as a barrister, as most of these squares have settled down by the advanced age of 30.
An outrage!!) Also, she tends to date outside the entertainment industry — her latest romantic partner is 35-year-old Tech nerd William Knight. With her Bambie eyes, stunning cheekbones and supermodel bod (yes, we’ve seen her Facebook and refrained from posting the most Victoria Secret-worthy bikini pic), Harriet seems to have drawn a genetic royal flush. She, of course, has accolades coming out her ears - one may dare to call her the blonde Amal. He is a virile man with such potent seed that he has spawned six (YES IT’S TRUE, SOME MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE CAN STILL AFFORD TO HAVE A LOT OF CHILDREN!) healthy children.
He said he’d help with mooting! He seems to write lots of things with Wayne Jordash, another guy on your list! We would prefer if he never, ever married #thereisstillhope)We have never met him and have no idea of his personality. Surely Chris would be a better prospect?Suzanne Staunton & Henry CavillWe imagine that Suze, as a woman of taste, appreciates a good-looking man.
For all we know, he could be a lovely, humble guy who spends his spare time entertaining kittens at the Battersea Dogs Home. Which is why we think she’d be a perfect match for Henry Cavill (seen here showing off his high-waisted fur thong on Instagram). Robin Walker (Worcester) is also conjuring up some nineteenth-century fantasies in our little Anglophillic heads. According to Harriet’s bio, she even managed to win an award for best performance in the university in Contract, Tort, Land and Trusts in her final exams. Robin is like one of Jane Austin’s eligible but not very enticing bachelors, perhaps Mr Collins in Pride and Prejudice.
No, he isn’t going to have you lusting after him like Mr Darcy but he is good, safe bet. 5 Chambers, Birmingham.Nageena definitely looks very glam and striking, with her big eyes and flowing locks.
With his strong jaw and waves of luscious dark hair, Nicholas Wilkinson is almost cartoonishly handsome, like a young '90s Wall Street buck who wears Ralph Lauren monogrammed boxer shorts and uses honey-almond exfoliator every morning.
This Australian hunk is also know for his off and on relationship with braying chipmunk Miley Cyrus.
Nicholas drops hints about his public school background by noting his enthusiasm for the Arthurian League in his hobbies (we see what you did there, Wilkinson). God knows what Liam sees in Miley, we wouldn’t even stoop to comparing her with Abim. Yes, there’s nothing more sexy than a bunch of Old Chigwellians, Salopians, Tonbridgians and Cholmeleians getting busy on the pitch. No, really.And 2014:1) Nicholas Wilkinson, 1 Hare CourtIntroducing Nick Wilkinson, our hottest barrister of 2014!!
Nick deals in high net worth divorces, and his most recent case, according to his chambers page, is the ironically titled Joy v. And, as a man with a powerful, famous father, Jamie deserves someone who knows what it’s like to have important parents.


We also know that through no effort (or fault) of his own, Nick has won the genetic and socioeconomic lottery. Instead, she’s funded by Legal Aid and spends her working life sorting out problems with drugs and public disorder amongst the young and vulnerable. He lives a life of glamour, tripping from rugby match to Caribbean bliss, a clutch of rangy blondes always at his heels. This doe-eyed girl next door is the granddaughter of Tippi Hedren and the daughter of Melanie Griffith.
We’re not sure if Jamie likes that kind of thing (we suspect not, given his lefty leanings). What man wouldn’t want to share a bottle of bubbly with Hannah and whisper sweet nothings about the Department of Business Innovation and Skills, privately instructed road traffic cases (oh baby) and the guidance she receives from fascinating bodies such as the General Dental Council (ouch).
Did we mention that Hannah trained as a panel secretary for the Nursing and Midwifery Council? How odd, but again VERY PRACTICAL.In case you think Hannah is all head and no heart, fear not. Hannah first made her mark on the Bar in 2014, with a speech she gave at some earnest legal event about the financial difficulties many young criminal barristers face. There she stood, an impassioned, bespectacled young woman, hair slightly dishevelled and an ardent look in her eye. Her chambers pic apparently does not do her justice (though we think it looks pretty darn lovely), which is why her fans felt compelled to attach numerous FB snaps.
His witty parents really did have the audacity to endow their son with what can only be read as a Nietzschean will to power. We suspect that his name may have led to some gentle teasing back in the day when the Power Rangers weren’t quite as cool as they are now. He looks like the All-American high school quarterback — we wish we were pom-pom-waving cheerleaders who could backflip into his arms, though that might go badly wrong.
Yes, we know Chris is just a pupil, and usually we steer clear of such youngsters, lest hottie notoriety hit them in the wrong time in their careers. He can probably handle it!3) Jamie Susskind (Littleton 2013)What is it like to be the chosen one?
But did people, strangers, tell you time and time again throughout your life that you were meant for greatness? We looked him up, and his face and name (which is very handsome, see above) looked familiar. And then one of your Hottie Experts realised she had noticed Jamie before, at the Oxford Union in 2009. He’s cute, and by all accounts a nice person, despite everyone tripping over themselves to tell him how great he is. So here for you’re delectation are a selection of corroborating images to show that, yes, he is a handsome chap.
We like a man who takes the time to enhance his God-given looks, even if it does mean that you have to fight them for the moisturizer and perfume. Either way, the pic isn’t totally working for him and we suggest he try out another expression. Her admirers describe her as having a hearty, sonorous (loud) laugh and a model-like physique that she maintains with infuriatingly little exercise or dieting. In addition to catching the eye of every man at après, Suze brings joy into the life of all around her. That, in our opinion, is the mark of a true hottie.Paul Clark (Garden Court 2010)Dashing Paul has been on our radar for a long time. He almost made the first Hot Male Barrister list back in 2013, and featured in our 2014 compilation. He works like an absolute animal, and most of it is entirely thankless.” What can we say?



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