When I was about 10 years old, I found a copy of Cracked magazine and though it was knee-slapping hilarious (the parts of it I understood, anyway).
Every time I mention guns I’m sent worryingly detailed descriptions of 10 murderers on their way to rape and kill my family in exactly 10 minutes and asked if I’d like a gun. What Luke conveniently deliberately ignores is those times you are forced to deal with an unscheduled attack; that’s when you want to have access to the safest and most effective self-defense tool in existence. The gun fondlers suffer from what I’m going to call the Gunning-Kruger effect: the idea that they’re much, much better with their weapon than everyone else is. Writing for a First Amendment protected blog on a Fourth Amendment protected computer, Luke thinks the Second Amendment is as outdated as anti-adultery laws.
Actually I think they probably ask something along the lines of, “So if guns cause murders then do cars cause drunk driving?” But that wouldn’t be nearly as easy a strawman to knock down.

Terminator quips aside, a police station really is one of the safest places to be when someone is looking for you with mayhem on their mind. He also states that “[i]f other technologies enjoyed the same legal stasis as firearms, you could commute in a tank as long as it didn’t shit on the sheriff’s boots,” apparently blissfully unaware of the facts that A) it actually is perfectly legal to own a tank, and if you can make one “street legal” you certainly could drive it to work, and B) tanks are no longer horse-drawn, obviating the whole manure issue.
Skipping lightly over the part where you find people who say, “I enjoy killing things I don’t have to for fun,” and responding, “That sounds perfectly sane, have some rifles,” I’d like to ask: At what point does one person’s hobby overrule another person’s survival?
I love the taste of meat, my body is made of meat, and my only moral objection to cannibalism is that going to jail would reduce my net flesh consumption. Luke goes on (and on) about how cars are for travelling and guns are just for killing (Really? Either way, home-carriers almost always have sufficient warning to greet intruders appropriately.

Then why do cops keep statistics about arrests and convictions and not just killings?) He completely ignores the fact that DGUs save twice as many lives as are taken in CGUs. Having read the whole polemic in order to properly fisk it, I can see why he got the thanks in early.

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