My boyfriend doesn't want to move in with me, should I end it and find a man who will commit? At a weekly Pilates class, CLARE CAMPBELL listens in while its members share the most intimate of confidences. I didn't mind this at first, and after several disastrous relationships felt relieved to be with a man who was so laid-back. Recently, I overheard my father telling Mum that I was making it too easy for Stuart, and that I should get on and 'make' him marry me. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Take a look at the cringe-inducing texts below -- and whatever you do, don't follow their lead. This week, Ruth, 32, tells the class how upset she is that Stuart, 33, her boyfriend of two years, is reluctant to move in with her, even though their relationship seems perfect in every other way. I felt incredibly hurt at being talked about in this way, as if I was a piece of meat approaching my sell-by date. Ruth says she loves him but doesn't want to waste time dating a man who doesn't want to make a lasting commitment. Nearly all my friends are now married or living together, several with babies already on the way, so I'm beginning to feel I'm being left behind.


I've tried saying all this to Stuart, but he says he finds my attitude insulting, as if all I want is a husband, and it doesn't really matter who he is. I also realise that if Stuart and I go on as we are, he could suddenly leave me for a 25-year-old when I'm 40, particularly as he works in the music industry and is constantly meeting younger women.
He says he loves me the way I am, and that if I felt the same about him, I wouldn't be trying to change him into someone he's not. Even my parents, who are in their 60s and have always been very liberal, have started making noises about it being time Stuart made an honest woman of me. He also said that he 'probably' does eventually want to marry and have children, and that when he does, he'd definitely want to do it with me.
I love him madly and want to move in with him - but he says we're fine as we are, that he values his independence and isn't ready to settle down yet. My options are to leave him, which I don't want to do because I love him and care about him, or to give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't propose within a certain time-frame, we'll have to split up. All these discussions have made our relationship distinctly spiky, and I've noticed he's having more nights out with the lads than he ever did before.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm driving him away with what he calls my 'fixation' with settling down, destroying the spontaneity of our previously very intimate and happy relationship.
When I got really upset recently, he was very loving and affectionate, telling me to go with the flow and enjoy our life together.


You've both maintained a reasonable amount of freedom whilst enjoying the intimacy of being partners.
However, you are at a point where you are changing, and you want to move away from the 'no strings attached' partnership. This is quite natural for couples in their early 30s, and particularly for women wanting children.
Maybe the conversation you need to have is what being a husband or wife means to each of you. What are the hopes and fears around each of those roles, and how would those change your relationship?
When a couple are struggling with commitment, there are usually unresolved issues from earlier in their lives about being close to someone - like a fear of being controlled or let down. He claims it's just innocent curiosity and nothing to get upset about, but Imogen is now torn between trying to ignore her jealousy or giving James an ultimatum.



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