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Even in some of the worst breakups, it’s natural to have feelings of affection and yearnings for reconnection bubble up once on a while. If we go into denial, the feelings we are doing everything in our power to avoid may even grow stronger.
But what if these thoughts, even fantasies, begin to become intrusive, disruptive, distracting and even dangerous? If you’re still holding a place mark in your heart for an ex, be honest enough to admit it. If your heart strings are being pulled because ending things with your ex was a mistake, then think about scenarios for going back for a “redo.” Do an honest assessment of why things did not work out. If this whole dating thing just isn’t feeling right, and you are tied up in knots about reentering “the game,” take some much-welcome time to become reacquainted with yourself.
If you’re in a new relationship, and are secretly or not-so-secretly crossing the line with an ex, you may be putting that new relationship at risk. It’s only natural for us to have flashbacks, memories, moments of both gratitude and regret for those who have been a part of our lives. The emotional heart each one of us possesses does not simply shut off like a faucet when relationships end.
The essence of  “un clavo quita otro clavo” (a nail takes out or replaces another nail) sounds good in principle.


We can hide, deny and repress our thoughts and feelings behind a wall of shame, belittle ourselves for being so weak and pretend it didn’t happen.
This self “audit” will help you begin to take responsibility for the consequences of allowing “harmless” memories, lingering feelings of affection and fantasies to persist. It’s all part of making peace with the past, healing old wounds, recalling special times and trying to be a better person. A spontaneous greeting card to an ex-wife on a son or daughter’s birthday thanking her for bringing such joy into her ex-husbands life can help heal an old wound. Or we can accept the fact that we are human and once loved our ex and not make a big deal of it. And you might want to deny these “inappropriate” thoughts and feelings coming over you, asking yourself,  “How can I possibly be feeling this way? Once again, self-deception and saving face may temporarily shield you from shame and embarrassment.
Beyond all the memories, drama, short-term relief of a fantasy, idealization of the other person, rationalizations, addictions and distorted assessments of the past is the deep wisdom you possess about what’s best for you. If, on the other hand, your “chooser” made a sound decision to end things despite a deeply disappointed, despairing heart, stay the course. Sometimes, things from our past become so big and daunting that they require considerable (even professional) help and attention.
The bonds of love may fade, and new love may take seed, but they never completely disappear.


What’s wrong with me?” In a minute, we’ll assess whether you’re holding on for all the wrong reasons or genuinely still in love. Get your head out of the clouds, tap into this deep wisdom and make a good decision for your life. From a partner? Strengthening your relationship with yourself is often the most significant investment you can make in either a new and promising relationship or a future “I just haven’t met you yet” one. Special songs, movies, restaurants, travel destinations and poems that once filled our hearts are stored as memories, and these memories are bound to get triggered.
But for the moment, let’s just acknowledge that residue of the lovin’ feelin is still there. It is also insurance that you are not just filling the void by plugging a new man or woman into an empty, lonely or needy space. Things like excessive physical affection (kissing on the lips), telling off-color stories and private jokes, making uncomfortable comparisons, talking badly about an ex and using children to spend excessive time together are all inappropriate and potentially destructive. Those who have lost husbands and wives to death, and who learn to love again – and those whose families have become happily “blended” – show us all that with time, faith, courage and respect for our newly beloved, we possess the ability to heal and move on.



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Comments to «Steps in getting your ex girlfriend back»

  1. ToXuNuLmAz007 writes:
    Content messages that fulfill all the three says She Wants Area You sincerely.
  2. manyak writes:
    That if someone believes NC will get again their ex, they're going was a very good.