On a recent episode of Bravo TV's "Vanderpump Rules," two cast members are trying to rekindle their relationship. Stassi is no pushover and while this crazy deed did seem to touch her heart, she's been making Jax pay for his mistakes before she'll agree to get back together. As a dating coach for women, I'm not sure Stassi's method of hitting Jax over the head with his relationship blunder is wise. If you are considering taking your ex back after a big blunder, here are five important questions to think through before opening your heart to him again. If you are still angry and feel you cannot trust your ex, even if you still love him, that is not going to provide the best foundation for future love. Sometimes, when a man wants you back, you start wishing you could fix more than what caused the breakup.
After you make up and decide to go for round two, you need to find a way to face the future together. If you can't forgive him, insist on fixing him, can't let go of what happened, can't respect him, or simply look at your own part in the breakup, you might want to say no to getting back together.


If a big list comes to mind about your ex that you want to improve, that's not a good sign. If your ex made a mistake that has undermined your respect for him, rekindling that flame might be very difficult.
Take your time to see if he has changed and shows signs of real commitment to your future together. It's worth taking a look at what you might have done that contributed to the split, because it often takes two to tango and fight.
As a dating coach for women 40+, I provide proven dating methods that have helped thousands. It's been a year since the breakup and Jax has been pulling out all the stops to win Stassi back, including having her signature tattooed on his bicep. This is not always true, of course, but a willingness to look at your own stuff shows your desire to improve and learn how to compromise when appropriate.
Patching up a relationship in which you got along well is a lot easier and more advisable than a match filled with arguments and problems.


It's better to admit that even though you loved each other, you just weren't a good romantic fit. Get more tips in my FREE book "5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away." Let me help you find love with the right man and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way. If you can answer yes to these questions, then you have a shot of creating a new future together. My relationship advice is to be realistic about what you want and need from him, or you might be getting back into a no-win situation. However, if you plan to use his error against him every time you have a fight, you'll wear him down and cause a new rift to grow between the two of you. Let things unfold naturally before you merge your life with his and end up broken-hearted again.



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