It may seem impossible to win an argument against an irrational person, but it turns out the tried-and-true techniques that hostage negotiators use against hostage-takers work surprisingly well in everyday situations. Technique #1: MirroringMirroring includes repeating the last couple words or the main point of what an individual is saying.
Technique #2: Emotional LabelingEmotional labeling shows the speaker that you're at least trying to understand how they feel. Technique #6: "I" StatementsIf the speaker verbally attacks you, and they will, it's important to carefully establish a connection with "I" statements.
Technique #7: Empathetic ToneEmpathy is "feeling with people," where you share an experience with another person and create an instant connection.
Now, hopefully you've got the grasp of everything, so the next time you have to communicate with unreasonable person, you'll know how to trick them into doing what you want.
Reading doesn’t only help teach your child to read it also works on many of the other things on this list.
If your child isn’t used to a group setting or has been out of it since the school year ended practicing listening is a great idea. Open yogurt tubes, zip jackets, tie shoes etc… a good rule of thumb is to only send your kids with things they can manage themselves. Try a get ready for school obstacle course.A  Line up your kids in their bathing suits and have them race to get dressed , get their shoes on , lunch put in the back pack and to the finish line.
Being ready for school in the early years ( preschool – 1st grade ) is much less about what kids know and much more about having them ready to learn. Sign up above and receive all new No Time for Flashcards posts directly in your email inbox. May 18, 2014 by Ngina Otiende Filed Under: Becoming a Better Wife, Marriage, Personal Growth 13 CommentsI know. Instead of dropping cues, looking up from behind piles of laundry with eyes popping out of your head in displeasure, wondering why he can’t see you help with cleaning the house.
Going on and on about the broken kitchen sink the moment he walks through the door after a long day at work might not lead to a productive conversation. Also reminding him how insensitive he was last month, right about the time you think he’s being insensitive again might not float that boat too far down the river. If you need something addressed, don’t allow your emotions and the heat of the moment to lead you.
Your genuine concerns and requests might never get addressed (or addressed well) unless you learn the good old art of patience,timing and grace.
And in our house men fixed things – my dad was a hands-on building contractor and brought up his 4 boys to be like him. Some of our biggest fights in our early years of marriage came from sweet husband not helping me do stuff, and him not doing enough stuff for me. As wives we imagine that delegating  is more tedious, thus we prefer to keep all the controls. But in no time my husband was extracting fingers from the stirring spoon and shooing me out of the kitchen! We can get a lot done in our marriages once we learn to dive in and work together as a team! If you would like to have Intentional Today delivered to your inbox, simply click here: Subscribe to Intentional Today (you will also receive a free copy of my eBook, Navigating Change).
My hubby and I have learned there are some things each of us are better at, so we divide up those tasks.
We’ve just come off of a two week break from school and this morning I was shocked and annoyed to realize that I would have to start packing lunches for my kids again.
I think we all know that a little advanced planning makes life work more smoothly, but I know I often have a hard time over-coming inertia in this area. Go through the Lunch Box Idea List and select a few items from each category for the week’s lunches. Once I have my lunch pantry stocked, it’s easy to assemble healthy, varied lunches every day.
Once you get all those fresh fruits and veggies home, take a half hour to clean and chop them. If you have the time (and energy) it’s also helpful to make one or two lunchbox-friendly recipes at the beginning of the week.
Sometimes the problem with packing lunches is that we’re tired of putting the same foods in boxes day after day and our kids are tired of eating the same foods day after day. You can always click over to the Wendolonia Bento Box Gallery where you can view over 2000 photos of the real-life lunches I feed my kids. I know I also get more interested in packing lunches when I have some fun new bento tools to play with.


The content on this blog is protected under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Recently on Facebook, I shared this Mashed Cauliflower Recipe from my archives and received a comment from a reader about her family enjoying Cauliflower Pizza Crust.
To be honest, cauliflower is one of my LEAST favorite vegetables, so this post is as much for MY benefit as for the kids. You won’t be surprised by an annoying pop-up on this website asking you for your email address.
The mental techniques that professional hostage negotiators use can help both parties remain calm and feeling like a winner, while ensuring you come out on top.According to former FBI agent and current Cornell Professor Gregory M. It helps the speaker stay organized by establishing a frame of reference throughout the conversation, and it also shows them that you're paying attention.She says, "I work so hard, and he's such an asshole. Since logic is useless at this point, show them that their emotions are noted and understood.Emotional labeling is not telling them you "know how they feel," it's recognizing how they feel. These statements should be personal disclosures within the context of the speaker's experience or emotion.For example, "I work for a large company, too.
Sympathy tends to lean towards caring, but not really understanding, which creates disconnection, and therefore will hurt you in an argument.An individual is a crisis state does not want to know that "it could be worse," according to psychologist Brene Brown in her wildly popular TedTalk (some of which is animated below by The RSA). Stick to asking open-ended questions like "Why do you feel upset?" rather than "Is your boss making you upset?" In the end, you'll have more information from them to play with. They need time to dig in the dirt for no reason other than digging in the dirt but I get asked year after year to put together a list of things parents can do to get their kids ready for preschool and kindergarten.
Listening and taking turns are two obvious lessons children can learn while reading with a parent but what I love most is that reading a book can often open up a dialogue.
It can be very challenging for young kids to wait their turn to speak especially when excited and sometimes it doesn’t matter how many times we reminded them their impulse control is just not there yet.
Teachers are happy to help but whenever a teacher is helping a child zip a coat, tie shoes etc… that might be time away from teaching. Making sure that they are emotionally stable to be away from the home for the length of time that they will, giving them confidence and tools to handle issues, and being ready to work in a large group where their needs will not be met as immediately as they are at home.A  That said doing some fun learning activities won’t hurt! I resonate with everything you’ve said and you had me giggling at many of your word choices and witty thoughts! All of us wear our heart on our sleeves too often and somehow have come to believe that our spouse should be able to read our mind.
My wife has learned (we both have) to observe and probe with other questions (general) before asking the desired question she has for me.
While I would love to write up an air-tight menu for a week’s worth of lunches, that will sadly never, ever happen.
My copy is hanging on our fridge and even though I’ve read through it hundreds of times, I often get ideas for refreshing the lunch repertoire just by scanning through it. When I make a grocery list I tend to have a laser focus on dinner ingredients, but taking a few minutes to write down some specific items for lunch makes it less likely that I’ll forget to get enough veggies or deli meat or anything else I need for filling the lunch boxes. They often have good ideas and they’re more likely to eat their lunches when they get to contribute their ideas. If I get to the store and the apples are cruddy looking or expensive or whatever I buy a different kind of fruit  instead.
I don’t have to hunt for food to pack and once I pull out an item from each category everything comes together lickety split.
Muffins are easy and homemade granola or cereal bars will save you a ton of money if these are items your kids eat regularly.
Click the tags on the right-hand side to filter the lunches by age, food, theme or a specific type of lunch box.
I finally replace one of our worn-out, ripped-up, duct-taped lunch bags with a fresh, new sporty one and the kids are both excited to take it to school. Maybe buy a new set of themed cookie cutters or check out some cool and not-too-expensive bento accessories from Japan. I know cauliflower is an incredibly nutritious vegetable and try to include it in my diet, as well as the kids. Mashed Cauliflower is an incredibly delicious mashed potato alternative, and with a little coconut milk mixed through, it becomes a sweet and nourishing dish. Cheesy Cauliflower & Broccoli Bake is simple and nutritious and the whole family absolutely loves. Cauliflower Rice can simply be made by grating a head of cauliflower into a pot of stock and cooked until soft. Bolognese, burgers and meatloaf are all excellent opportunities to get a few cauliflower florets into if your kids are picky and tend to avoid cauliflower. Cauliflower can be grated into Scrambled Egg or Pancake Batter and become hidden well enough to not be detected by picky kids.


Cauliflower and Sweet Potato Soup from Life Sanity is a delicious way to blend cauliflower in with a sweeter vegetable. Not Potato Latkes from Real Food Forager is a supremely nutritious version of much loved, usually potato, Latkes. Cauliflower Wraps from Empowered Sustenance would be a handy lunch box inclusion for the kids in place of regular wraps.
Grain Free Cauliflower Crusted Pizza from Holistic Squid shows you how to make a pizza crust using cooked, mashed cauliflower. Roasted Cauliflower With Parmesan from Kelly The Kitchen Kop sounds comforting and a nutritious dish the kids are sure to love.
Cauliflower Cheese Souffle from Homemade Mommy is an inventive use of cauliflower and one I can’t wait to try! In fact I think I might even like them more than the kids… One for Miss E, two for me. My preschooler wouldn’t let me do ANYTHING to it if she had a choice – she loves it straight! Little does he know,hes been eating his most disliked food(Broccoli) for yrs in meatloaf, soups etc..Its So very good for kids that you have to get them to eat it somehow!
Vecchi, individuals in a "crisis state" operate at an intense emotional and irrational level.
It's showing them that you are only there to listen.For example, take this failed hostage negotiation training scene in Flashpoint. It serves the same purposes as mirroring, but should be used to make sense of particularly long diatribes.If the speaker gets lost in a ten-minute rant of rage, summarize it in a few sentences. People naturally mimic and mirror those they socialize with, so staying calm can only help guide them to cooperation.If it helps, just pretend that you're Steve Zissou (or any Bill Murray character for that matter). These five things are the things I would tell my own friends they should do to get their kids ready to go to or go back to school.
I think it must stroke my pride or something because the outcome never turns out like I want. I think many girls (apart from my wife) think that it’s romantic when the hubby can figure out exactly how, what, when and where she wants something done.
I write a blog that focuses on packing lunches, and I even wrote a book about about bento lunches but I still sometimes view lunch-packing as a terrible chore. This week my boys are all about apples and bananas and my five-year-old surprised me by asking for cantaloup. Likewise, if I was planning on picking up goldfish crackers, but the Saltines are buy-one-get-one they are the ones going in the cart. I wrote a whole article about the many ways prepping in advance makes our lives better last year (5 Fantastic Side Effects of Prepping Produce in Advance) but the #1 item on that list is that lunch packing takes about half the time. So – these unique recipes serve as inspiration to increase the whole families cauliflower intake!
It’s a nutritious rice alternative which can actually be mixed through rice to entice a picky eater to give it a try.
People in this mental state are completely unable to cope and there is absolutely no hope in trying to persuade them with logic.To win the battle over these types of irrational people and get them to cooperate with you, use some of the techniques outlined below, which come straight from professionals in the fields of Aggression and Violent Behavior and Emergency Mental Health. After years of searching for the leopard shark that killed his best friend, his encounter is as calm as you should be. Opening up a dialogue like this lets kids express worries and other challenges they are facing.
Most of the time us men (let me speak for myself) are normally blank in the mind…but very much ready to do what asked.
Yeah, I might not read her mind, but at least I loved her enough to think about her and actually to go ahead and serve her. By saying this, not only are you appearing empathetic (see Technique #7), you're keeping them focused on the point and away from a stream-of-conscious rant.
Try books about school to get your child to open up about how they are feeling and their needs regarding going to or back to school. He probably thinks it would be easier had he just kept on doing that task, but I want to help ease the burden off him.
Further down are more book suggestions for tougher issues like anxiety, bullying and standing up for yourself. For older children reading over the summer is imperative but if you have let it slide jump back on the reading train now so your child is ready to go back to the class with the same ability they left with.



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