Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. The Proverbs 31 woman is a rare and valuable find, but she is also something else — she is attainable. Proverbs 31 contains the words of Bathsheba, the wife of David who bore Solomon — his heir to the throne. But most of all, Proverbs 31 emphasizes this virtuous woman’s fear of God, for this quality ultimately explains why she is the way she is.
A woman who fits this scriptural description is so rare that she borders on extinction in our time.
A husband who doesn’t discern the value of his wife has great trouble leading her, for the gifts God has placed within her are more than he knows what to do with.
If that describes your marriage, wife, you need to disconnect from your husband’s laziness and determine to become what God has called you to be, regardless of the way your husband behaves or speaks. This was Bathsheba’s perspective as she talked to her son in Proverbs 31 about finding a worthy wife.
David saw Bathsheba taking a bath and desired her, so he commanded his servants to bring her to him. Later Bathsheba gave birth to Solomon, the only one of David’s children who was instructed by his father and disciplined by his mother. Bathsheba understood the cunning devices of worldly women, and she knew Solomon wasn’t ready to deal with this challenge in his life. If you’re a mother of a teenage son, I’m sure you understand Bathsheba’s heart in this matter.
In Proverbs 31:1, Bathsheba calls her son Lemuel, her pet name for him meaning belonging to the Lord.
Solomon had probably been talking back to his mother, telling her what he thought about life and what he was going to do once he was king. At this time Solomon was about 17 years old, and he already had two problems in life: He liked girls — a great variety of them — and he also liked wine. Bathsheba was telling her son, “Don’t give your sexual strength to a lot of women, Son, because that path leads only to destruction.” She was stressing what Solomon had already heard from his father. Solomon had a lot of women in his life, but he never had a virtuous woman he could call his queen. With all this in mind, let’s discover the qualities about the Proverbs 31 woman that make her so valuable to the people in her life — especially to her husband. Proverbs 31:10-31 presents a Hebrew acrostic in which each of the 22 verses corresponds to one of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. In verse 10 (NKJV), Bathsheba begins by advertising for the kind of woman she wants her son to marry: “Who can find a virtuous wife?
This verse is actually saying that a virtuous wife is the most precious and valuable treasure a man could ever have in his life. A woman should never throw herself at a man, because the way she begins the relationship will be the way she lives her life with him. A Proverbs 31 woman will produce for her husband what his money cannot produce because her value is far above money. Verse 11 goes on to say, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”This verse corresponds with the letter beth, represented by a picture of a home with only one exit. God has assigned you to do your husband only good all the days of your lives together: “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (v.
Notice that this verse says the virtuous woman does good and not evil for her husband all the days of her life. One example of a wife “doing evil” to her marriage is when she sides with her children against her husband and tries to stop him from disciplining them.
A husband can only trust a wife who doesn’t try to push her own agenda on him the moment he tells her of the decisions he has to make. Many wives back off from making decisions on their own because they’re afraid their husbands will jump their case and tell them about all the wrong decisions they made. You see, the job of the people on the merchant ship was to travel around the world and purchase the best of everything that certain countries had to offer —herbs, spices, fine fabrics, etc.
Don’t think that you always have to get the best that money can buy when you go out to purchase something for the household. For instance, if you keep an eye out for sales at the grocery store, you can buy all kinds of good food within a reasonable food budget. I once read a translation of verse 14 that said a virtuous woman is like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. But the Proverbs 31 woman is also full of surprises because she understands the need for change.
Wife, the entire life of your home revolves around you and is integrally connected to your well-being. When the virtuous wife is keeping her home in order, her husband is free to focus on doing his job well. Husband, that means you shouldn’t interfere with the internal affairs of the home, for it all revolves around your wife. The Living paraphrase of this verse says, “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household….” In other words, the virtuous woman is tireless!
This principle is very simple: Do what you’re supposed to do before you’re ever asked to do it. As you do these things, the time will come when you become ripe for the next season of harvest in your life. Pastor Robb Thompson is the founder and senior pastor of Family Harvest Church, which has been reaching out to the Chicago area for more than 25 years. How does one become a virtuous woman?  Tonight I was reading over some notes I had written a long time ago in my journal from a Bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman, and I wanted to share some information that I found very encouraging. We can do all of the things listed in Proverbs 31 that were accomplished by the Proverbs 31 woman and still not be virtuous.
In my own life, I am constantly reminding myself to not focus on achievements and what I can do to measure up to what the Proverbs 31 woman did. NEXT POSTValentine's Day Happy Valentine's Day everyone, although the day is almost over now! She is an uncommon woman — an unforgettable, rare treasure to whom every man either secretly or outwardly longs to be married.
Nevertheless, you can become such a woman, for God never gives you an impossible assignment.

Often the wife is held back by her husband’s inability or his unwillingness to go out and really make something of his life.
Meanwhile, Bathsheba’s first husband Uriah, who was an officer in David’s army, was busy fighting the war from which David had taken a break. Now, Bathsheba was a subject of David’s kingdom and the wife of a man who served under him.
He told Uriah, “I know you’ve been working hard out there in the heat of the battle, so I decided to call you back so you could take a few days off and spend some time with your wife.” But David’s plan didn’t work. In the first 30 chapters of Proverbs, Solomon wrote down the wisdom he learned from his father David.
Chapter 31 is her instruction to her son to help him discern the difference between the worldly woman who only causes a man harm and the virtuous woman whose “…worth is far above rubies” (v. You’ve probably dealt with your son in a similar way, telling him, “Listen, I can see right through that girl. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink.
In Proverbs 5:9-12 (NKJV), David warned his son that having sexual relations with numerous partners would open the door to the enemy in his life and eventually destroy him. Just as a crown encircles a person’s head, a man’s thoughts of his excellent wife encompass and encircle his mind and heart. As a result, he eventually suffered the consequences his father and mother had warned him about.
And remember — since God has called you to become a Proverbs 31 woman, these qualities are entirely attainable by faith!
For her worth is far above rubies.”As far as this mother is concerned, a virtuous woman is such a rare find that it is almost as if she doesn’t exist. This letter is also represented by a picture of an ox, which in Old Testament times was a symbol of prosperity. He will not be able to prosper to the extent God intends for him to prosper without you in his life. He may possess riches that fill huge warehouses to the ceiling; he may be the richest man in the world. The prostitute in Proverbs 7 is always waiting outside the gate, loudly putting herself on display in order to lure a man into her snare. For instance, if you decide you want an abundance of nothing in life — if you’re willing to shop for the rest of your life in little discount stores where everyone in the world can shop, that is the low level your husband will achieve.
She brings to the table character, honor, and distinction — greater treasures than money could ever buy or that other people could ever bring to a man’s life. A husband can trust his Proverbs 31 wife because she isn’t one to reveal things about him that are best kept private.
That means a wife doesn’t have the option to think, Well, today I’m going to treat my husband real nicely. This wife may not realize it, but when she becomes her children’s “savior,” she undermines the authority that God has placed in her husband and the trust that her husband has placed in her. He can only trust her when he knows she won’t turn on him the moment he is intimate with her. But because the virtuous woman’s husband trusts in her, she is well able to make right decisions for the household in the areas he has given her authority to do so. The first part of this verse speaks of her clothing — made of flax for the summer and wool for the winter.
The Proverbs 31 woman realizes the world has things backwards when it comes to rules about physical appearance.
You never have to plop a cheap TV dinner on the table and tell your husband, “Come and get it, Sweetheart.
You have more to do than your husband does at work to keep everything running like a top at home.
She gets up before dawn, willing and ready to do as unto the Lord what she needs to do for her household.
When you instruct yourself in your responsibilities each day, you become indispensable to your husband. Be a godly example to every person who is close to you, especially your husband and children. Pass up the husband who says he doesn’t want to be a leader, and become a leader in your church. He is happily married to Linda, his wife of more than 30 years, and together they have been building the Body of Christ.
Believe me when I say that you are not the only one who is thinking about these kind of things. I kind of stumbled upon your blog but I have been thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman lately also.
This morning started out a little roughly with no power due to a light dusting of snow and lots of ice.
That goal has nothing to do with your relationship with your husband; rather, it has everything to do with your relationship with God.
During this time when the men were supposedly all out of town fighting a war, Bathsheba decided to take a bath on her rooftop. So he secretly instructed Joab, his general, to place Uriah on the front lines and then leave him unprotected from attack.
She decided, No matter what David has done, he is now my husband, and he is who God says he is. But chapter 31 presents the wisdom of his mother, given to him as he was about to assume David’s throne. He thinks about his wife continually — how he can please her, how he can give himself to her. But those riches cannot love him, help him in the home, minister to his needs, nor walk with him as his intimate companion in life the way a virtuous wife can. But if you encourage your husband to achieve more in life by looking good for him and taking good care of yourself, he’ll produce even more so you can look better! But there is only one woman in his life who will be good for him over the long run, and that is his wife. She is trustworthy and refuses to harbor evil in her heart toward me, for she knows she is in my life to provide only blessing and benefit for me all the days of her life.
Her man doesn’t have to be careful around her, wondering whether he’s about to say the right thing or the wrong thing that will set her off.

This is the kind of wife a husband can trust without hesitation, knowing that she always has his best interests at heart. While women are at home, they often go through the day looking like they just got out of bed. The Proverbs 31 woman maintains Heaven’s perspective as she looks for “the best for the least” in order to bless her household.
But you can still keep a steady perspective of buying the best you can for the least amount of money within the limits of your budget. So she goes out like a merchant ship and discovers ways to stay attractive and pleasing to her husband. The hook symbolizes a place of peace and order where you can hang your hat and prepare to relax as soon as you enter. Likewise, I don’t want my wife trying to assert control over me in the running of the church.
Even if you believe you are right, do what it takes to stop an argument and eliminate strife in your marriage. Let them see who you really are as you live and respond to them from your heart and not according to your flesh. No one will be able to deny that God has touched you with His fingertip of approval, because you never stopped pursuing excellence. Author of more than 18 compelling books, numerous magazine articles, and countless audio and video resources, Dr.
I saw the sewing, working out of the home, the buying of fields, the visiting of the needy, her beautiful coverings of purple and silk, etc.
Why did she attend to the poor, rise early to care for her family, speak with kindness, dress her household in beautiful clothes, and help her husband to be well known in the gates? My focus must be on making sure I am continuously fearing the Lord in ALL that I do and being obedient to His Word. I think that it is so true that it is only through the Lord that we can really become virtuous.
She entrusts herself to Him, believing that what He has said about her will come to pass, no matter how many voices from the past tell her otherwise.
He not only thought his wise and virtuous wife was a nobody, but he showed disrespect to David, the man God had anointed as the next king of Israel. But it is up to you to learn how to discover and bring forth from your wife the treasures that God has placed within her.
But Boaz discerned the kind of woman Ruth was as he observed the gracious way she conducted herself.
You need to quit focusing on the things that are disappointing about your husband and instead focus only on God, for when you hope in Him, you will never be disappointed (Isaiah 49:23 NIV). At best, one of his wives would see her husband once every three years — and that was if he liked her! You become who you’re supposed to be and make yourself valuable to him before he ever gives you a word of instruction. Because she was motivated to do all that she did out of her fear of the Lord and the desire to keep His commandments! She won’t wear the clothes the average woman would wear, nor go to the places the average woman would go. Refusing to discern the value of these treasures God had brought into his life, Nabal lost his wife and, ultimately, life itself.
After Uriah’s death, David took Bathsheba as his wife, but that wasn’t the end of her loss. Because he knows she will never take advantage of his love for her; instead, she will respond by giving herself completely to him. Remember, he works every day with women who look wonderful, and he wants to know that the woman he married cares enough about him to look her best as well! Remember, a man can stop his eyes from staring at the beautiful women out there, but he can’t stop himself from seeing them!
She is my helper, my “support beam” that holds up the home and keeps everything running smoothly. Don’t ever allow yourself to hold on to the attitude, You just have to accept me the way I am. Don’t use the laziness of your mate as an excuse for never becoming who God called you to be.
She embraced her God-given role as a wife and a mother out of submission to the Lord and His Word. It's very easy to type these insights in a blog post but much more difficult to put into practice. She refuses to follow any of the sinful impulses she inherited from the Garden because she is focused on becoming all God wants her to become. In contrast, David discerned the true value of Abigail as a woman; as a result, she became his wife. I’ll be happy to do whatever you need me to do to bring this to pass for you.” That’s the attitude you should have with your wife in matters pertaining to the running of the home. There is nothing wrong with having “maidens” — such as a housekeeper or a nanny — to give portions to! You’re only going to live one time, so don’t let the opportunity to serve in God’s Kingdom pass you by. More often than not, a husband wants to be married to a woman who is a leader in her own right; he just doesn’t want her to lead him.
Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
We can only become virtuous women if we fear the Lord and strive to obey His Word in all things. However, there is something that both Ruth and the Proverbs 31 woman demonstrated: they both feared the Lord and had a desire to follow His Word.

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