Assertive communication skills for managers group,football coaching courses northern ireland,conflict resolution training workplace,computer training courses in nigeria - For Begninners

In Part I, we explored the beliefs needed to drive assertive behavior and I encouraged you to take our assertiveness survey as a way of reflecting on your current communication patterns and level of assertiveness. If you are like many, you may have found that you weren’t as assertive as you’d like to be, particularly in difficult or heated conflict situations. In conflict, this style plays out in one of three ways: deny there is a problem, give in to the demands of others, or run away from any differences.
So, what if you say, “That’s not me?” It could be your reaction is more of a “fight” response.
Responding in the “fight” mode results in strong initial negative emotions and uncomfortable “after the fact” feelings, such as guilt, shame and reduced self-esteem, and now add the fact that you have to answer for your inappropriate, offensive behavior as well.
People can remain in this style because they don’t know how to change or stop themselves or again, because it works. Learn 7 valuable leadership lessons and organizational “survival” tactics through the eyes of one of the world’s most industrious and successful creatures, the honey bee. Who We AreAn innovative training and employee development firm located in southern Vermont since 1984, we specialize in helping organizations get the most out of their people by raising the bar, inspiring potential and partnering with organizations to build a people-centered, high-engagement culture. Conflict is created when there are differences between us and others, and those differences often trigger an emotional response in us.
Not only do employers miss out on their employees input, feedback and problem solving, but companies pay a huge price for silence.



Like passive communication, aggressive communication is instinctual and emotional – often angry and hostile.
Not unlike our “flight” response, the original conflict still exists and is compounded by hurt feelings and damaged relationships. It works particularly well when you pair the two together– one blows up and the other shuts down – conflict is gone (or so they think). The more intense the conflict and the more threatening it is to us, the greater emotional response and more difficulty we have being assertive.
Paterson in The Assertive Workbook (pay attention how he describes both beliefs and behavior): “Many people in today’s society fear conflict and criticism. Emotions run high and include a profound fear of being rejected, helplessness and frustration often leading to depression, as well as resentment from all the demands.
Here, aggressive communicators use intimidation and forceful words and body language to shut down conflict and regain power and control over others.
If you find that you choose one of these three responses, the good news is that you don’t have to stay trapped in this reaction. So, if you aren’t responding assertively, you may find that you are communicating in one of these three other ways: passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Neuroscience now tells us that early in life we develop certain brain patterns and ways of responding to conflict based on what we have learned from those around us.


Tracking and learning about your response to others is key to success and critically important to understanding and changing your behavior.
Scientists also have discovered that all stimuli to our brains  go to our emotional center first.
Behaviors for the passive-aggressive communicator include: sabotage, gossip, complaining to other co-workers, shutting down or refusing to talk, sarcasm, wearing upset visually, forgetting to do things or doing them poorly, etc. They have been trained from childhood to believe that their role is to accept and live up to the standards that other people impose…The solution is to be invisible. A person may continue to use this response pattern because it shuts down any conflict and the undesirable feelings that accompany it. Not as obvious as the “fight” response, this communicator can hit you when you least expect it and typically when you can’t respond. Well, think about it: passive communicators can be easily touted as team players, and seen as agreeable and flexible.
Like the aggressive response, this type of communication can do serious damage to your performance and relationships with others.



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