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In a business enviroment where hierarchy is reducing and position power is no longer a guaranteed way to make things happen the effective people are the ones who can bring positive influence to bare on the people around them. Whether you are pitching for resources, explaining the benefits of a product or communicating with your team and internal customers, presenting a clear and concise message that engages with people provides a lasting influence long after the first actions of compliance wear off. A communication skills course, this approach is suitable for managers and sales people, project managers and those who need to work across business networks dealing with a diverse range of people. The inclusion of Robert Cialdini’s book Influence, Science and Practice provides a grounded and persuasive set of Influencing practice through time and across sectors that adds a deeper understanding to the subject as a whole. This course is run over 2 days and is fully documented with supporting materials and slides. Influence is about the keys to effective communication and we provide a mixture of relevant media examples to inspire learning and act as exemplars for success. Our course uses the organisations structure and the participants’ role as the blueprint for action and encourages delegates to use real examples of things they wish to achieve in their role. Our course also includes a text book on Influence and Psychology to underpin the themes and provide extra information. Our Influencing Skills course has no more than 12 delegates providing more time with the trainer for a more personal approach. Each delegate will also receive a 30 minute remote coaching session as part of the package at no extra cost.
Work InitiativeWP Cumulus Flash tag cloud by Roy Tanck and Luke Morton requires Flash Player 9 or better. Have you met that dynamic, charismatic person who is the life of the party, who walks into a room and immediately changes the dynamics of any conversation, someone who people talk about for hours even after he leaves the place?
If you have, then you might have wondered at large as to what makes him so adorable to so many different people at the same time. The secret is behind understanding the difference between hearing and listening, using verbal skills to communicate effectively, sending subtle non-verbal signals to move a conversation along to higher levels of conversation. Interpersonal Skills, for all the mystery and high-talk surrounding them, could be something as simple as handling a conversation. To communicate effectively, the first thing we need is not only a good collection of words, but also a good selection of words. Proper usage of words and the right manner of communication will create ways of sharing opinions and expressing ideas in a positive manner. Business experts use well-honed communication skills to prepare their pitch for a deal, handle objections, and settle negotiations.
Communication is a two-way process where active listening plays as major a role as speaking fluently. Hearing is simply picking up sound waves in our surrounding and realizing that there has been a source of sound, whether you have seen it or not.
In addition to that, it also helps you to communicate more successfully and build a receptive, cooperative image in the mind of the speaker. On the contrary, you could say that we human beings can attribute whatever we have learnt and our entire development curve to our propensity of asking questions.
Open-ended questions − These questions are also known as the "Wh-questions" as they are usually preceded by "who, when, where, what, how, and why".
Close-ended questions − These questions can be easily answered in a few words, even with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal communication often confuses people, as they tend to put more emphasis on body language as compared to speech. Eye Contact − Steady eye contact (not continuous as in staring) indicates a sense of confidence and a willingness to connect with the discussion, as opposed to shying eyes and drooping eyes that give an impression of either under-preparedness, low confidence, or disinterest. Facial Expression − A person can very easily give away his thoughts if one were to study his face.
Posture − It is recommended that you always maintain a proper, straight, and crisp posture while standing or while sitting down.
Specific Gestures − Nodding is universally accepted as a signal for 'Yes', and five extended fingers denote the number 'five'. Physical Proximity − The way we shake hands and pat on the shoulders of other people give us either a friendly or amiable image. Small Talk is the friendly, amiable conversation people have with one another on general topics such as weather or traffic that may open doorways to knowing each other better. Although, it is easier said than done, walking up to a stranger and initiating a conversation may not be one of the easiest things for a lot of people, especially young sales-people and business development managers. Initiation − At this stage, the people in the conversation normally talk on general topics such as the weather, traffic, time of the day, busy schedule, etc.
Opinion Sharing − Here the discussion moves towards slightly more "weighty" topics like politics, corporate way of life, philosophy, where the opinions of each other are listened to and valued. Expressing Thoughts − Once all the above stages have been cleared, you reach the final stage where both the persons can feel sufficiently comfortable in each other's company to be able to disclose intimate details about each other.
To improve your interpersonal skills, the most important step is to address the issues that prevent you from initiating a conversation with someone. To be able to start a conversation and hold it pleasantly over a length of time, you need to be really interested and involved in the conversation.
Having a collection of conversation starters will help if you have a few witty lines and introductory lines ready that will help you in all occasions. While talking to someone, remember that people like to talk to people who can receive and share information simultaneously. While having a conversation, make sure that you completely understand what the other person is saying before making any remark on it. It is also important to keep summarizing the content as the conversation becomes more detail-oriented. How do you feel when you are walking through a crowded street that is dense with strangers walking up and down the road, and amidst all that, you hear someone calling out your name?
We all have experienced similar situations and the reason is − a human being’s name is the shortest and quickest way to building an emotional attachment with him. We all have gone through times when somebody greets us and we have no idea as to what his name might be. Remember that using a name can add many advantages to your interpersonal skills which can be as easily subtracted on forgetting it too. If another colleague (whose name you know) is also in the vicinity, try introducing this person to him. I am sure many of us have wished, on seeing a hypnotist perform his art on a hapless member of the audience, if only this power would have been with you. While we can safely agree that we don't have the power to control anyone telepathically, influencing people can give a powerful insight into the way they think and function, which helps you in approaching them in an agreeable way. Active Listening and sharp observation are the two very important skills needed to know what can convince other people.
Empathizing, also known as "putting yourself in someone's shoes to see where the stone pinches", is a very effective way of understanding the other side of the story that the person wants to share with you. A major part of the success you get in communicating with others depends on the style and language that you use in your communication. What you say, combined with the way you say it, determines how the listeners perceive your message.
Successful people have mastered the art of a “You win, I win” conversation, where they will listen, establish a common ground by empathizing and then finding a way to put their proposal through, without hurting anybody’s sentiments. Many people complain that when they approach a business house to inquire about the services they need, the person talking to them treats them cordially, responds to their queries, builds a connection, and assures them of good service. The customers happily sign up for the deal, but after the papers have been signed and the payment done, nobody responds to their repeated calls and emails.
However, the most important part of it is to maintain the same relationship over a long period of time. While handling a negotiation, the most important thing to remember is that you are talking to a person who believes he has an equal right to opinion and an equal right to present his points. Some of them could be his own long-held beliefs, unwillingness to change or adapt, or simply the fact that he feels threatened in the presence of someone who is intellectually superior and refuses this fact to dominate his thought.
We can never know what factors influence a person toward denying certain things that are clearly right or accepting certain things that don't make any sense, but fighting with them and always trying to be right is a very poor approach towards knowing.

There are times when we just have to concede a point or two, just so that the conversation, and subsequently the deal, does not fall through.
If you observe closely, you will realize that companies that produce beauty products like skin-enhancing creams, body lotions, and anti-ageing products get soaring responses from their target audience primarily due to the kind of advertising they do. They promote the results, the moral boost, the social acceptance, and the general improvement in standards of life that you get on using the product. It is found that the emotions run on a fixed path − first the advertisements start with negative emotions that talk about the current situation and stigma that the viewer might be facing, then they introduce the benefits of the product, and then they talk about the positive emotions that you are going to get by using the product. Addressing the initial insecurity, then assuring with a solution, and concluding with a feel-good high is the secret behind the successful conveying of the message.
The next time you have a conversation with someone, listen to what makes him worried, then add observations that corroborate with what he says so that he is convinced that you are familiar with his concerns, and then offer a solution that will result in a much better outcome. It is very important during this stage to show that this is an issue that affects you personally as well.
While emotions might help you build the trust and the engagement you desire, too much of it might make a listener think that you are too emotional to take a tough decision or a level-headed discussion. They might also think that you are riding on emotion alone for the success of your business, hence always back everything you are saying with facts and figures that prove what you are saying by providing a precedence.
Two skills are involved in introducing facts in a conversation in a manner that appears suitable and in accordance to what the listener is expecting to hear.
After that, the second (and more important) skill is to use the facts to enhance the presentation of your argument and to support your decision. At this point, there is always a risk of the person feeling intellectually threatened, so back off a little and ask him for his opinion. Instructions − Read the statements mentioned in the sheet and start finishing off the sentences. Identify the emotions and feelings that you feel are responsible for the responses you had given in the Responses column. Also try and identify the good qualities you have that helped you get the responses to questions 6 to 8. Also, state the reason behind your mentioning the changes and how you think these changes will help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself. In a meeting or a social gathering, people will expect you to contribute to the discussion. In a constructive disagreement, which is bound to happen when a meeting of talented and dynamic people is held, the idea is to make sure that personal egos and prejudices don't overwhelm the discussion. The focus of every agreement or disagreement should be to bring improvement and greater success, and on finding a solution and not settling personal scores or gaining one-upmanship.
Negotiation skills are the bedrock on which any successful, lasting, and productive business relationship is established.
People who are not satisfied with a negotiation might still continue with the deal, however they might walk out at crucial junctures of the assignment for better offers, leaving the project incomplete, and at a risk of shutting down. This is the stage when you research on the deal thoroughly and know the best offer in the market, the profile that is needed to qualify for that offer, and your own strengths and limitations.
Clearly identify the areas of bargaining and the conditions that you would like to be satisfied with. All the people who present in the negotiation are there for their interests and the sooner you address theirs, the sooner they will address yours too. While closing a negotiation, try to reinstate your points and the interest you have to be a part of the deal. It is an oft-repeated phrase that creating a Powerful First Impression sets the tone for a pleasant and constructive conversation. A few things that one should always keep in mind while meeting someone for the first time is to dress suitably as per the occasion and groom properly.
It is also advised to not try and emulate someone else's thoughts, just for the sake of showing agreement to a particular line of thought. Reinstate and summarize your interests and strengths respectively when the meeting comes to an end. In today’s result-oriented world, there is a lot of focus on achieving goals, setting targets, and meeting them. There is a tendency to be self-centered when you are eager to get good results out of a deal, but you should have the same eagerness towards meeting people too.
Learn the act of making requests, and not commanding people to meet your demands even if you are a supervisor, or the boss. Polite talking and respectfully presenting a point are not only easier than bossing over individuals, they also produce an amiable environment where the employees work out of a genuine sense of passion, as compared to a sense of obligation. We hope that you are now ready to take a journey into the world of Improved Interpersonal Skills. In short, you would be interested in tracking down his "X-factor", which makes that person adorable. Remember the saying that successful people always remember names, know how to make a powerful introduction, and manage situations. Indeed, knowing how to speak is fine, but what to speak is the backbone of any conversation. The objective of Interpersonal Skills is to have a pleasant, informative, and valuable conversation that leaves a lasting positive impression of you in others' minds. A major part of successful bargaining depends on the rapport you manage to build with a prospect.
Listening, on the other hand, is not only picking up sound waves but also understanding the meaning of the words spoken, analyze them, interpret them, and act accordingly.
Active listening helps in getting a deeper understanding of what the person is saying, which in return, will help you arrive at the most appropriate conclusion. The person will perceive you as a caring, attentive, and engaged listener with minute attention to details. They think that asking questions would create an impression about them being rude, intrusive, or pesky.
The trick is in seeking purposeful answers that the person can connect with and identify the thought behind the question. I speak English and Body." This statement stresses how important body language is to the image we project of ourselves, and the image we perceive of people around us. If a person smiles while saying he is sad, his words will lose their value and the observer will take that statement as a lie. People who are genuinely happy tend to arch their eyebrows, as compared to those who smile only out of courtesy.
These are certain specific movements that you need to be careful of while speaking, so that there is no discrepancy in gesture and speech. Communication experts consider small talk as an art, and they believe a pleasant small talk can lead to many frank, detailed discussions on business too. Many think opening up a conversation as an arduous task and admit having no "small talk" skills at all.
This gives an idea as to whether the other person is in a conversational mood or is avoiding conversation.
Simple gestures like smiling and then waiting for a return smile before introducing yourself, commenting on something in the vicinity, commenting on a shared interest are just some of the starters that can get the other person in a conversational mood.
The more relaxed you are while talking, the more natural you will sound, and the more interested the other person will be in listening to what you are saying. If you dominate the conversation without giving any stress to what the other person is saying, that will end the talk very quickly. Misunderstanding or even partial understanding of somebody's statement could cause a serious social error. There are times when a lot of facts are introduced which need to be kept in mind to understand the context of the discussion. It might be unnerving, especially so when he is referring to you constantly using your name. This includes trying to understand their business and personal environment, knowing their business needs, personal feelings, and ethics. We all send subconscious messages when we interact and reading between the lines may give us the hint that we were looking for so far.

Understanding and addressing his needs will make him think highly of you as someone who cares.
If you are talking to your supervisor explaining him a situation, you will agree that you won't use the sentences you use when you are talking to the neighborhood greengrocer. There are times when the speaker has to be firm, and there are times when he has to be friendly.
That is only possible due to their constant understanding of the issues the listener is facing and partly consoling, partly validating, and part realizing the issues themselves.
And the person who talked to them and gave them their word has now been replaced by a man with a stern voice. While you might be thoroughly prepared and be backed with facts, there will often be situations where the other person will choose to disagree with what you are saying for numerous reasons.
Instead of trying to sound and appear right at all times by trying to rain facts and figures, it is a great idea to ask him to present his points and contribute to the discussion so that he feels that he is also bringing equal weight to the table. It is no way being implied that you have to compromise on important points, but the very nature of a negotiation is to see that both sides win. If the listener does not feel that you are equally connected to his cause the way he is, you will start losing value and your words will start sounding hollow immediately.
When this is done, the listener will have no other option but to appreciate what you are saying as you are not only using facts but also giving a logical thread of explanation that connects and relates all of them. Think deeply about your answers and what are the areas of improvement that you think you need to address the issues from 1 to 5. This exercise is designed to set goals for yourself that you need to achieve as a priority.
In situations like these, it is very important to realize that even if your opinions might be honest and true, they could hurt the sentiments of a lot of people who might not be agreeing to these opinions of yours. Mutual respect should be there for all participating members, even if their views could be clashing with yours.
Hence, the importance of a successful negotiation cannot be stressed enough on the people who are into team management or team building.
This will give you a good idea on what a good offer to you should be, considering the strengths and boundaries.
Negotiations are normally an intense battle of nerves, where powerful persuasive powers are employed through selective usage of words and assertive body language.
It is rare to walk away with everything you wanted, because other people's interests must be respected too. The first impression a person draws of you is a gut instinct, and cues from body language are generally registered more strongly than mere verbal means of communication. Always try to have a positive mindset and the aim should be to be a problem-solver and not a problem-digger. They will ask you to elaborate on it and subtle changes of disagreement in your voice and gestures will be easily visible to the trained eye. Remember that people always appreciate those who are willing to go the extra mile in their quest for success. While that is crucial in today’s world, you will do good to remember that any relationship – be it personal or professional – owes its existence and value equally on the other person too.
The course will also include the use of media clips to further enhance learning and post course remote coaching. In this exciting and informative tutorial, you will learn what Interpersonal Skills are, what they include, and how to acquire them. The Collection-Selection Model of speech adds value and pleasure to any conversation you have. Insurance Advisors and Investment Bankers all over the world have mastered this art as they understand that their customers are talking about the future of their earnings, which is a sensitive topic to most of them.
Although there are certain situations where it is best to refrain from putting your queries forward, asking questions is not some scornful activity in itself. The listener tends to put more stress on his memory as compared to processing thoughts while answering these questions.
Body language helps us generate and transmit messages to observers through our posture, gestures, and body movements. On the other hand, a person sitting straight in his chair will exude confidence and inspire respect. Knowing the reasons behind your hesitation could help you understand your areas of concern.
On the other hand, if you only listen and don't provide any intelligent or reasonable contribution to the discussion, people will think of you as someone not worth their time talking to.
It is always advisable to use repetition in conversation, both to clarify your statements and also to understand what the other person meant by his words. Whenever you feel that the details are getting slightly difficult to understand, it is best to paraphrase and try to summarize the entire content so that any discrepancy can be addressed. It is observed that people immediately start paying you more attention and giving you more chances of interaction if you mention their names correctly, especially when meeting them for a long time. But the worst situation is when he gives you some business opportunity and asks you to mail your response to him! There could also be times when you have to exercise authority, but it is advised to keep listening intently and empathize whenever needed in all these cases. Trying to communicate with “hmmm” without trying to understand the condition he is in will only lead to a massive fall-out.
When situations like these come, it is better to give in to a few changes, as compared to giving up on the deal altogether. Your vibrant and energetic voice, your confident eye-contact, and your assured talking will do wonders to the reliability factor that the listener is trying to build with you. At this stage of the discussion, people should be able to understand which statements can be proved and backed by facts, and which statements are only the thoughts of others. Now decide the changes that you have to bring in your physical self and social interaction levels to achieve the goal. Even if what you mentioned was correct, some might feel offended by your direct statements. But the objective should always be to put your contradicting thoughts in such a way that the listeners judge the sentence, and not you. On the other hand, if a negotiation does not work out, there will be dissatisfaction, resentment, and anger.
Listen carefully to what their offer is, evaluate it against your own evaluation of a best offer, describe your strengths and mention what your expectations are out of the deal.
Turn on your charm and presentation skills to the highest knot at this stage and seal the deal. Try to give options to a situation that you have been asked to analyze and most important of all, smile while communicating.
No relationship can be a lasting one if the other person is not being taken into consideration.
Over-eager calls on weekends and excessive mailing are only two examples of many ways in which you can easily tip to the other side of ambition. Numbers are only the end-result of a successful network of happy customers, satisfied employees, enthusiastic co-workers, and a balanced lifestyle. But the trick is to never let the person know that you are still searching for his name in your mind. When he replies, say that you knew that one, you just thought he has come up with something else.
For example, notification emails, emails or texts on birthdays and anniversaries will help build and maintain a long, steady, and productive business relationship. After you are sure that everybody is satisfied with the agreement, thank everyone for their time and engagement.

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