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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Girl with a Pearl Earring. Historians have no account of Johannes Vermeer having ever painted Girl with a Pearl Earring. The painting was scanned for the first time in 1999 at the University of Paris, meaning that the painting must have been created before then. Andy Warhol claims to have never created it, which narrows the field of potential artists significantly.
It is rather curious as to why Johannes Vermeer wanted to draw our attention to this location of the painting first.
Nevertheless, as one becomes bored of this area, one's eyes start to make haste for the second focus of the painting, what some have called the "left eye". As Vermeer was nearing the end of his life, he started work on what has been called the Teeth area. Regardless, the most important square in the entire painting marks the last one that Vermeer painted in Girl with a Pearl Earring; this square is the brightest in the area. Closer inspection of the Sleeve area, what used to be the least interesting area in the painting.
On June 31, 2002, someone who was exceptionally bored created a program which translated colors into sound. To the right is the rest of the painting which tells about all the parts of Vermeer's life not already mentioned: his travels to Australia (described in a group of four squares just to the left of the focal point), his first ride on a bicycle, and his encounter with the Doctor. Girl with a Pearl Earring died a few years after Vermeer painted her, of severe infections and loss of fluids caused by earring lacerations over her entire body. The infamous focal point is shown by the red square (not present in the original painting).
Each square is approximately 100 square micrometers in area, further emphasizing the preciseness of Vermeer's cubism. It is implied that Johannes Vermeer had gone through troubling times in his life, probably the death of his mother based upon the unevenness of the squares just above and to the left of the focal area.
Many psychologists believe it is because the events outlined in this area occurred first in his life, suggesting that the painting is Vermeer's life-long autobiography. Upon attempting to shift his focus to another part of the painting, he was hit with a wave of nirvana and was compelled to stare at the focal area for 20 more days. What is noteable is the group of five or arguably six bright squares to the right surrounded by nearly black squares; this suggest a situation where Johannes Vermeer felt trapped, such as a forced marriage or a locked front door. If one tilts his head to the right, one may see a monochrome version of the Great Wave off Kanagawa, another cubist work by Vermeer. This area features a number of light squares and dark squares, suggesting the continuous struggles of Vermeer throughout his droll life. Philosophers have argued that it was Vermeer's attempt, as he looked into the eyes of God while lying on his death bed, to paint God's eyes as he was swept away. After experimenting with hundreds of cubist artworks, she stumbled upon Girl with a Pearl Earring and decided to play the entire painting. A complete written analysis of the painting may be purchased from Amazon in 20 comprehensive volumes.
Her remains are buried in Westminster Abbey, not far from Shakespeare's but upwind and a little to the left of Cromwell's. When Alexander entered the Punjab just before the establishment of the Mauryan Empire, it was with the view to develop its immense commercial resources. Just as the name implies, if you form a triangle between the girl's "eyes" and the tiny white dot just below the "cheek" area, and rotate the triangle 135 degrees counterclockwise about the "left eye," a focal point is formed where the white dot lands. Assuming that it takes one minute to paint a single square onto the canvas, Vermeer must have taken 81 years to complete his masterpiece. Another pervasive theory is that he believed a focal point to be necessary in showing his ideology, a sort of materialistic view that all things which we value have only one aspect that seems to please us: its worth. However, there is a lighter region to the left which appears to be rescuing the stranded bright squares from the clutches of the unknown; this suggests that he escaped the forced marriage or found the key to the back door.
Therefore it is believed that later in his life, and approximately ten years after he painted the Left Eye area, Vermeer visited Japan to study calligraphy and distribute some of his works to the Emperor. Only a true artist, however, can see what is really going on here, and everyone else will see mostly many squares. Color theorists have argued that it resembles saturated peach mixed with pale chicken skin; I myself believe it is tan. The lower right portion of the area is relatively consistent in brightness, indicating that Vermeer was running out of different colors. Vermeer was known for his "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" outlook on life, and this area may be his testament to that. Stanley Kubrick made a darker version of the area and used it for the monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Mathematicians have calculated that there are five more dark squares in this region than there are light, hinting that Vermeer saw an evil approaching in his life, an evil that would threaten to mutually annihilate the happiness in his life.
It is believed that Vermeer caught tuberculosis at the age of 108, the time which roughly corresponds to this area in the painting. The Last Square is the most important 100 square micrometer area known in the history of art.
She took the recording to musical experts, amateur musicians, and the local librarians, but no one could immediately recognize the tune.
If one's eyes follow this evil to the right, one will meet the famed region known as the "right eye". The reason for the transferral of this theme to the Girl with a Pearl Earring is obvious: Vermeer was running out of ideas and decided to copy-paste. The red squares support this idea: that Vermeer was confused about how to handle death, and that Vermeer was repeatedly coughing blood into his paint.
It was first discovered in 1880 when microscopes were powerful enough to examine it in detail. Alexander founded trading posts all along his course, and left behind Greek colonists who finally intermarried with the Indians. Additionally, the ratio of the size of the right eye to the left eye is said to be the Golden Ratio.
What's also noteworthy is the grit which appears to be caught between the left canine and its neighbor incisor.
It is truly a mystery, and it remains one of the biggest mysteries alongside the origin of the universe and the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop.

This must mean that the Emperor of Japan had much gold during this period, and therefore the public had little. Microbiologists have confirmed that it might be a particular species of rye only consumed when the soil quality is low. Vermeer was obviously making a statement protesting the economic tyranny present in Japan, a statement that would only be discovered centuries after creation.
Soil quality is lowered when too many crops are grown on farm patches at the same time, and therefore farmers were having a difficult time making enough money growing grain to support their families.
In the processions held on festive occasions, elephants decked in gold and silver, four horsed chariots and yokes of oxen took part. Vermeer was concealing yet another protest, this time about the treatment of the agricultural sector in pre-1800s Netherlands.
The palaces are said to have been truly luxurious, with great pillared rooms of state, like those in Iran, the golden pillars decorated with embossed vine leaves and silver birds. These palaces were set in lovely parks full of shady trees, many of which had been imported to give variety, and boating as a sport was popular on artificial lakes full of fish. This was an age of plenty, even for the poor, as the fields were fertile, the basic crops being rice, barley, wheat, millet, and sugarcane.
The state gave the people security and protection, maintained roads, and provided reservoirs and wells.
Cattle breeding was as important during the Vedic Age as it is now, and in addition to milk products provided skin, leather, horn, hair and wool which were used in various crafts. Trade was carried on by ships through the ports along the coastline of Maharashtra, the Malabar Coast, the Tamil country, and Bengal. Land routes were expanded to join the Ancient Silk route through Central Asia to China, and large caravans undertook hazardous journeys for the sake of the profits that were to be made by the adventurous.Costume Men and women continued to wear three unstitched garments, as in Vedic times. The main garment was the antariya of white cotton, linen or flowered muslin, sometimes embroidered in gold and precious stones.
For men, it was an unstitched length of cloth draped around the hips and between the legs in the kachcha style, extending from the waist to the calf or ankles or worn even shorter by peasants and commoners. The antariya was secured at the waist by a sash or kayabandh, often tied in a looped knot at the center front of the waist. The third item of clothing called uttariya was another length of material, usually fine cotton, very rarely silk, which was utilized as a long scarf to drape the top half of the body. The uttariya was worn in several ways to suit the comforts of the wearer: very elegantly by those at court, who drape it on both shoulders or one shoulder, or diagonally across the chest and casually knotted at the waist, or it could even be worn loosely across the back and supported by the elbows or wrist, and in many other ways according to the whims of the weather. But for the labourer and the craftsman, it was more a practical garment to be tied around the head as protection from sun, or tightly around the waist leaving the hands free for work, or again as a towel to mop the face when sweating. Its uses were endless for the poor sections of the society and for them it would be made of coarse cotton. A simple small antariya or strip of cloth, langoti was attached to the kayabandh at the center front, and then passed between the legs and tucked in at the back. A longer version of the antariya was the knee-length one, being first wrapped around and secured at the waist, the longer end then pleated and tucked in at the front, and the shorter end finally drawn between the legs, Kachcha style, and tucked in at the waist at the back.
Another version, the lehnga style, was a length of cloth wrapped around the hips tightly to form a tabular type of skirt.
The uttariyas of upper-class women were generally of thin material decorated with elaborated borders and quite often worn as a head covering. In addition, they sometimes wore a patka, a decorative piece of cloth attached to the kayabandh in front by tucking in one end at the waist. The patka was made from plaited wool or cotton, twisted yarn or leather, and at times it was also woven. Although, footwear is often mentioned in Vedic literature there is no sculptural evidence for this period, except in the case of soldiers who wear the Persian boot. It may be because shoes could not be taken inside a stupa or Buddhist temple, that they were not depicted on the sculptures on stupas. In the more remote villages and jungles, shepherds, hunters and people of similar occupations were mostly aboriginal or belonged to the lowest caste.
They generally wore simple unbleached coarse varieties of the cotton antariya and turbans, much the same as we find today, and the practice of tattooing was fairly common. The more primitive tribes who lived in the forest wore garments made from grass (Kusa), skin, and fur.Headgear and HairstylesWomen generally covered their heads with the uttariya, worn straight or crosswise, often resplendent with beautiful borders.
The hair, centrally parted, was made into one or two plaits or in a large knot at the back. The uttariya could be worn simply hanging down at the back or secured to the head with a headband, or with one end arranged in a fan at the top of the head. Skullcaps were sometimes worn under or over the uttariya to keep it in place, or at times it could be decorated with a fringe or pendants.
Helmets too are seen as headgear for phrygian women who probably wore long-sleeved tunic with tight fitting trousers and a phrygian cap which was conical and had ear flaps.
In India, the Amazons wore in addition, the crossed-at-chest belt vaikaksha, with metal buckles, shield, and sword. As regards male headgear, in the early Maureen period there is no trace of the turban mauli, but in the Sunga period we find great emphasis on this form of male head dress. These were remarkable headdresses in which the hair itself was often twisted into a braid along with the turban cloth. This twisted braid was then arranged to form a protuberance at the front or the side of the head but never at the center top, as only priests could use this style.
In addition, decorative elements like a jewelled brooch or a jhalar (fringe) could be attached to the turban, or one end folded in pleats and tucked in like a fan.JewelleryFrom the sculptures we find there was a richness and profusion in the jewellery worn by both men and women.
In the Arthashastra attributed to Kautilya, and in the sculptures of the period we find references which show us that the material used most frequently were gold and precious stones like corals, rubies, sapphires, agates, and crystals.
Certain ornaments were common to both sexes, like earrings, necklaces, armlets, bracelets and embroidered belts. Earring or karnika were of three types-a simple ring or circle called Kundala, a circular disc earring known as dehri and earrings with a flower-like shape known as Karnaphul. A short one called Kantha which was broad and flat, usually gold, inlaid with precious stones, and a long one, the lambanam. These chain or bead necklaces were sometimes three-to-seven stringed and were named after the number of strings of which they were composed. Baju band or armlets of gold and silver beads were worn on the upper arm, and were occasionally studded with precious stones.
Bracelets called Kangan, very often made of square or round beads of gold, and richly embroidered cloth belts completed the male ensemble.

Women, in addition, wore girdle called mekhala, a hip belt of multi-stringed beads, originally made from the red seed kaksha but now made of gold and silver beads, with shapes ranging from round to square and oval. They could be in the form of a simple ring, Kara, a thick chain, sankla, oran ornamental circle with small bells called ghungru.
Forehead ornaments for women were quite common and worn below the parting of the hair and at the center of the fore-head. These consisted of thin plate of gold or silver stamped in various patterns, as well as a star-shaped sitara and bina. The only material evidence we have of a piece of Mauryan jewellery is a single earring found at Taxila dated second century BC which similar to Graeco-Roman and Etruscan Jewellery.Military CostumeSewn garments which had been used by the Persian soldiers were sometimes utilized for military dress by the Mauryans. This consisted of a sleeved tunic with cross straps across the chest to carry the quiver, and a leather belt with sword. The headgear was usually the turban or headband, whereas the Persians had worn the pointed cap.
The mixture of foreign and indigenous garments is interesting as it shows one of the early phases of evolution in the costumes of Indians.
This came about in the colder north, where the Persian garments were more suitable, climatically and functionally, in case of soldiers. Although, coats of mail are mentioned in the Arthshastra there is no visual evidence of it in this period.Religious Personsof the three religions- Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, it was Hinduism which evolved from early Vedic sources with sacrifice as its main ritual and had as its keepers of religion the Brahmin priests, who belonged to what later came to be the highest category in the caste system as practiced in India.
The Brahmanical Sadhu(Sanyasin) was an ascetic who lived either in a hermitage or visited holy places. He wore a shaped kilt-like garment made of strips sewn together, which was tied at the waist with a cord. A short rectangular cloak covered the left shoulder and breast, leaving the right side exposed. The hair and beard were allowed to grow, the former being plaited and arranged in a spiral at the top of the head.
These garments, often made from leaves or the complete bark of tree, were tied with a cord.
Skins of antelope and goat called ajina were used by anchorites and wild ascetics, muni, as a covering for the chest. Men ascetics did not cut their nails, hair and beard and carried there few possessions on a yoke balanced on the shoulders.
It had a religious order of monks, bhikshu, and nuns, bhikshuni, who set up monasteries where they studied their religion, later leaving to preach and collect alms.
Buddhist monks normally shaved their heads and beards but kept the head covered with a headdress. Their dress was the common antariya with an uttariya and a larger chadder, all dyed saffron.
Buddhist monks, bhikshu, had few possessions and their clothes were made of rags patched together and dyed red or yellow. These consisted of a lower garment antaravasaka, an upper garment uttarasanga, a cloak samghati, a waist clothe kushalaka, and buckled belt samakaksika.
Their possessions consisted of a patra or begging bowl, a razor, tweezers for removing hair, clippers for cutting toe and finger nails, an ear pick, a tooth pick, gauze for filtering drinking water, a needle, a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan and a bag of medicines.
Later two sects developed-the sky clad (naked) Digamber sect and the white clad Svetamber sect. In the Jain monastic order, monks and nuns wore a white costume consisting of a robe and cloak. They covered their nose and mouth with a piece of gauze to ensure they would not inhale even the smallest living organism and so cause its death. Their hair and beard were shaven and most lived the life of missionaries continuously travelling on foot.
The Jain ascetics smeared their bodies with mud, took the vow of silence, clothed themselves in skirts made of bark, and carried a stick made of three rods bound together, and an umbrella. Their other possessions included a water jug, clay bowl, and pot with spout, broom, hook, portable stool, rosary, and an alms bowl.Textiles and DyesWeaving of fine and coarse varieties of cloth was well established.
Furs and the better varieties of wool and silk like tussar, called kausheya like Eri or Muga silk of Assam, yellowish in its natural color but when bleached called patrona, were used. Kaseyyaka (High quality cotton or silk) and the bright red woolen blankets of Gandhara were worth a small fortune each. Resist dyeing and hand printing in a pattern on cloth has been mentioned by Greek visitors to the court of Chandragupta Maurya, as is the Indian glazed cotton cloth which was in common use by 400 BC. Material similar to the khinkhwab (which is the interweaving of silk and gold or silver wires beautiful floral pattern) was in great demand and even exported to Babylon long before the Mauryas. Cotton, wool and a fabric called karpasa were available in the north in both coarse and fine varieties. There were also fine muslins often embroidered in purple and gold and transparent like later-day material which came to be called shabnam (morning dew).
Woolen cloth, avika, from the sheep’s wool was either pure white (bleached) or dyed pure red, rose, or black. Blankets or kambala were either made by completing the edges with borders or braids, or woven wool strips were joined together. The process of felting (pressing the fibers together, instead of weaving) was also making known. All varieties of wool were available, coarse for making head-dresses, trappings and blankets for richer class. Four primary color were recognized in the dyeing of textiles: red (dyed with safflower and madder), white (through bleaching), yellow (natural color of yarn and saffron), and blue (indigo leaves). Fabrics were also woven in patterns and printed for use as carpets, bedcovers, blankets, and clothes.StyleForceful sculptures carved during the Mauryan-Sunga period in the first century BC in the north at Bharut and Sanchi give us a feeling of superhuman power. Turbans coil and twist with the hair to form protuberances, with serpentine armlets and anklets closing in on strong limbs. The head veils of the woven are voluminous; long-beaded aprons and crossed scarves at he chest suggest fruitful abundance, and necklaces and strings with amulet boxes suspended on the breasts indicate a fear of evil and dark forces around.

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