Well, I did change my name (and on Facebook first, the real authority, or maybe just the one that didn't require a 2 hour wait). I got to thinking about why I wasn’t feeling that bad and why it seemed so easy to take on this new identity. My first thought is, although I do love my former last name and the family I came from, my immediate family members all have different names.
Those who change their names because it’s what their husband wants need to recognize that we still live in a time where paternal name dominance is still the rival culture. I’ve seen a few couples actually combine their last names (literally combine, like last names Smith + Hurley legally changing to Smurley) or otherwise make a new name. I’m pretty sure feminism gives women (and men) the freedom to make choices that fit with their lives.
My birth surname was one I never liked and always felt somewhat begrudgingly about because I never got a choice in the matter. Pros: Sharing a name solidifies your partnership and marriage, it’s a fun change (if your spouse has a cool name), and it will make filling out any government or financial documents a lot easier. Cons: The process is time-consuming and frustrating, there’s a risk of changing your professional identity, and you’re losing that connection to your family line. After reading this highly entertaining blog post on how to change your last name after marriage, I’m realizing that this process is anything but fun. About Wedding Shoppe Blogger: Hannah ArkelinQuite simply, I love everything wedding-related! It was also a topic that my friends and I discussed together as each of us transformed from a bride to a wife.
After researching all wedding traditions there are three that earn the top obsolete, sexist and promoting inequality – engagement rings, bridal showers and name change. The second reasons exist because before paternity testing existed, the only way to prove a child was the rightful heir to a man was through name.
The tradition exists because it comes from a time when women were not allowed autonomy, a job, an independent life.
Women are raised to be prepared to abandon their name, to put less value behind it, to put his first before yourself. The paperwork is indeed a hassle to change a name, although it is much easier for just a women to change her name legally than a man. He offered to take mine, but in the end we both just liked his better (and the combo-name sounded way off in our case).

I had a rough childhood and was pretty desperate to get rid of my father’s name, so when I got married, it seemed natural that I would take my husbands, though I did go back and forth over it quite a big. Make sure your friends and family know that you’re changing your name in case they are in the market for monogrammed wedding gifts. If you are going on a honeymoon right after the wedding, use your maiden name when purchasing any plane tickets since your passport will not be updated. Go to your local Social Security Office with your marriage license, driver’s license, and the ss-5 form filled out. Now that the hard part is over, it’s time to make a list of any other places your maiden name is filed. But if you follow these steps, remain patient, and keep your eyes on the prize, you’ll be happy you went through with it.
From acronyms to religious customs, Wedding Shoppe, Inc.'s Wedding Encyclopedia is here to help! My mom has the same last name as her parents and one brother, but my other two uncles have a separate last name. Now, women are starting to understand that third-wave feminism is about choice, but I have to say that when it comes to name change it isn’t an educated one. The legal, non-bastard kid had to have his fathers name to legally claim his inheritance, title and property. Families consist of half brother, step sisters, two moms, two dads, adopted or fostered children and the chances are a lot of them come with different backgrounds and names. Some women would disagree with me arguing that they love their surname, but our freewill is often tainted with lessons learnt from a lifetime.
In fact, men have to pay higher fees and jump through more hoops if he wanted to change his name. Hyphenating our names would have been unwieldy, but I do like the idea of a combination, or scrapping both names and coming up with something new altogether. The process isn’t necessarily difficult, but it can be stressful, especially when you try to remember every location that has your name on file. It won’t take away the urge to pull your hair out, but these steps will get you one step closer to the new Mr. A name change is definitely one of those important questions to ask before getting married. This should be done as soon as you have your new Social Security card, driver’s license, and marriage license.

The mother for a long time, even with the husbands name, had no rights to inheriting any of her dowry or family estate, it all passed to her son who also shared the family name. We all grew up with media and stories and people who talked about how romantic it is to assimilate into someone else, that it means the ultimate form of love and sacrifice.
This pro-name change argument implies that these families are less than because they don’t share one unifying name.
My best counter argument to just following the man or husband in the relationship, is that if you reversed the roles – asking him to consider changing his name, hyphenating it or creating a new one, you will often find men considerable less willing to do so. Don’t worry about any of this before the honeymoon, but when you get back, take a look at this checklist on how to change your last name after marriage. You will have to bring an original to the DMV, the Social Security Office, and even the bank.
The Social Security Administration will notify the IRS of your name change, so you’ll be killing two birds with one stone. I also recommend checking your local DMV’s website for any forms you can fill out beforehand.
If you have health insurance through your employer, HR will take care of the paperwork for you. I enjoy exploring the Twin Cities, traveling, and going on long walks with my curious dog, Watson. You can choose to hyphenate both names, or even change your middle name to your maiden name. Feel free to do this step by mail if you want to avoid one government building (understandable). Everyone has a 40-50% chance of getting divorce, it won’t seem so romantic of a name if you decide to keep it or have to change back to your original name that never divorced you. No one can argue that because I share a different name than my spouse that we feel and look like less of a family than one with a shared last name. No matter if you are a local Minnesota bride or in any of the other 49 states, we've got you covered?

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