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31.12.2015
Whilst the bullying was taking place I had noticed signs of him feeling down and not really wanting to go to school and he would just not give me a reason as to why. A girl in his class had been making fun of him and at one stage told him he would not be here the next year at school, when my son asked why she replied “because I am going to kill you before then”. Over the past few years, a hot topic in parenting has been whether or not parents should focus on building their children’s self esteem. As a teacher and as a parent, I am a firm believer that part of my parenting responsibilities include helping our children build a strong self esteem. Did you know that kids who have positive feelings about themselves have an easier time dealing with conflict and the pressures of life.
When children have positive self esteems they feel in control of their lives and know how to stand up for themselves.
Children with low self esteem don’t feel like they can handle challenges and feel frustration and anxiety when faced with life challenges.
Teach Our Children How to Handle Conflict and Failure – Life is full of conflict and we all have to deal with failure. Provide Challenges For Our Children – We have to provide challenges for our children, that they can overcome. Set Our Children Up For Success – Help your child develop talents and acquire skills that they enjoy and excel in. Don’t Set Our Children Up To Fail – Embarrassing our children to “teach” them will not help them feel better about themselves. To build a positive, growth mindset, praise your child’s hard work (rather than intelligence).
A mother of five, who enjoys sharing her love of all things creative in hopes of inspiring other women and families. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe my readers will enjoy.
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My youngest son has always had a hard time at school albeit in some cases his quirky personality and style actually makes him a target to other children most of the time.


Like I said my husband is a little more subtle than I am and whilst they were on their journey to school my son told his dad about the problems he had been having. As I said good night one evening he said to me totally out of the blue “I wish I had more confidence, because I am not very confident mum”. I certainly know this can happen at any age but I would love to know how you handled the situation if you are willing to share. They feel more confident in making their own decisions and are better able to maintain healthy relationships as they get older. Provide opportunities for them to participate in activities that encourage cooperation instead of competition.
Imposing unrealistic expectations and challenges so they fail will not make them fell better about themselves either. Be attentive, show affection and when there is need for discipline, always follow with an increase of love. If we are always putting ourselves down, and saying negative things about our abilities, we will raise children who feel the same way.
As mother’s we are trying to juggle so many things while we listen and spent time with our kids. Only in the last few months he has been very quiet a little different lets say and we eventually got to the bottom of that when my husband found out he was being bullied by a girl at school.
Although, I have an older son who is now eighteen he never had any problems at school especially related to self esteem issues and bullying.
He was being bullied by a group at school and went quiet, then started saying he didn’t want to go to school. Research is also showing that a healthy self esteem is the greatest defense against bullying. They take those beliefs into new situations and feel strong about their ability to do hard things. We need to be good role models and speak positively about who we are, what we look like, and the effort we are putting in to our own lives. When children bring home problems from school, express concerns and ask questions, we need to be patient and listen.


Since starting at high school the lovably little boy who got along with everyone is starting to fade away and now he seems to be a little more distant and certainly retains his feelings making us as parents as little aware of situations as possible. I don’t know what to do at the moment but I know one thing I have to help my smallest little soldier get his confidence back and help him in any way I can. In the end we had a very teary day (lots and lots of crying) when we found out what had been happening. Not to mention that low self esteem leads to behavior problems, poor school performance, trouble with friendships and relationships with adults. They need to always know they can express themselves at home and they will be respected and cared for, regardless. Some of the things he thinks he has wrong with him are that he has spots, a big chin of all things and he even doesn’t like his eyebrows! I don’t want him to change his personality in any way shape or form to suit others, so that is certainly not an option as I want him to retain everything about himself as possible.
It is awful when you find out that your child has been in pain and you knew nothing about it. Even when our children don’t succeed, we should still praise them for the energy effort and skill they put forth. Starting young will make their lives more manageable and set them up to be strong and adjusted adults.
I think all you can do is be there for your child, tell them you love them and hope for the best.
Obviously tackling the bullying issue is a must, some children can be awful and making the school aware is a big step in the right direction.



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