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05.04.2014
Has it ever occurred to you that a man is a ‘Mr’ whether he is single or not while a woman’s marital status is differentiated – even emphasised – by the titles Ms or Mrs? Contrary to what people believe in our society, a woman should retain the family name of her father instead of taking her husband’s name after marriage. But the fact of the matter is that this is not about feminism at all; this is not an argument about ‘If men don’t have to change their name, women shouldn’t be made to either’.
At present, a vast majority of women – locally and internationally – take their partner’s name after marriage simply because that is how it has been for a long time. My argument to such women would be that men seem to do fine and have as much of a sense of belonging as they need without having to change their name.
As far as the Islamic viewpoint is concerned, the Quran clearly states that even adopted children should be referred to by the names of their biological fathers. It only implies that there is an innate human need to know where we came from – our identity and our lineage –  and a father’s name is a core factor in that sense of personal identification. However, we have been emotionally conditioned to accept otherwise and hence, are not willing to accept basic logic as it is. All Muslims have to take their fathers’ surname and there is no proof from the Quran or Sunnah that a woman is excluded from this injunction upon marriage. As such, what is resolutely prohibited is to intentionally ascribe one’s lineage to another or negate one’s lineage to one’s own father. Unfortunately, this is what happens, particularly in our society, where upon marriage a woman is made not only to change her name but also her allegiance to her past, her family and her parentage. In effect, we tell them that they don’t really have an identity of their own; that as individuals they are incomplete without their other halves.
If you look at it in a more holistic way, you will undoubtedly see that this seemingly insignificant thing, can actually have a major impact on how a society behaves and performs towards its individuals. Imagine this for an instance; you raise your daughter to be a self-assured, confident girl, capable of making her decisions (of course, taking into account the perspective of others) and on her marriage, she is asked to change her name – the first step in the traditional ‘the way we do things’ mind set. Would it not disturb you to see her being asked to negate her identity and perhaps, her upbringing? The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of The Express Tribune. I would like to add that Men who force their wives to change their name or surname inherently suffer from an inferiority complex that forces them to have this entitlement stuff. There probably are a lot of women who think like you do and you are entitled to your opinion and are free to live your life the way you see fit. Also contrary to you imaginary belief, it’s not only in Pakistani society, it is vastly prevalent in Western world as well. The sad fact is despite the Sunnah in a MUSLIM COUNTRY this is not practised but the law that a woman has to take on her husbands name. Well depicted thought, but is there any reference regarding those hadiths which you have been claiming that one (female) should or should not change her name after marriage.
Pakistan is a gr8 country where we an president has taken the initiative by renaming his children after their mother.
Not really trying to make an arguement in favor of this tradition but the name is changed to prevent a sense of alienation between new bride and the family she is now a part of. When a girl gets married she has to go to her husband home.In pakistan mostly there is a joint family system. I do not know about Pakistan, but in the West and even in the far east, children and their mother are known by the name of the father (of the children) or husband (of a wife).
Unless you are willing to explain to your children why you are not being referred to by their father’s name you might re-visit your point of view.
Yes, you have the right to your identity, but changing your surname does not at all takes that away from you. Amazing how religion gets brought into everything – I guess plain old rational thought is unacceptable in some quarters. A lot of young Muslim women in the UK are now starting to keep their parents’ surnames after getting married. E.g In German few years ago a women and no other choice but to take the name of her husband. I actually typed out a reply and then deleted it because while I do reveal stuff about myself on ET , I don’t want to reveal too much. But I am still a different person.While he and I do have a lot of common interests and hobbies, we have separate hobbies as well. It is an interesting topic and I feel an appropriate one as I have always propagated that we asa society need to addess some basic issues and try to set our direction right.
A» After marriage get your marriage certificate done, from the state you are residing in, Ita€™s the first and the foremost step for Name change after marriage. May be it is not compulsory, But will be useful to be done after marriage to avoid any future trouble. I have changed my name from Dattaram Laxman Sawant to Amit Laxman Dattaram as per the affidavit. I have changed my name from Salman Rashid Shaikh to Saleman Rashid Shaikh as per affidavit dated 6th Dec 2012. I have changed my name from Deepali Khanna(old name) to Deepali Tanwar(new name) as per Maharashtra Gazette No.(X- 000000).
PERSONALIZEDBRIDAL NAME KIT $38.99BUY NOW!Get all the forms you need to legally change your name after marriage. Upon approval of your credit card payment of $38.99, we prepare your bridal name change kit, personalized for you based on your county and state of residence.
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Implementing a name change after marriage involves quite a few aspects ranging from whether or not you should do so to exactly what is involved in the process. 4.Keep your middle name and your maiden name and simply add your husband’s last name to the end of your names. You must carry through with changing your name on all documentation for all of these options except the last two.
4.Family lineage and pride – Keeping the family together with name recognition of extended family members.
Whether or not to change your name after marriage has become more of a personal decision over the years. 1.Inconvenience – Changing your name after getting married brings with it a long list of agencies and businesses that must be notified in writing with the proper documentation that your name has changed. 2.Professional consideration – If a woman has established a career for herself using her maiden name, she may lose this recognition and momentum. 3.Cultural and family significance – If you marry someone from another cultural background or a less significant lineage, your pride in your ethnic background may prevent you from assuming his name as your own. 4.Aesthetics – The sound of a woman’s first name when combined with a newly acquired married name may sound awful.
5.Sense of independence – Societal implications in the name change as a woman marries is sometimes seen as a transfer of ownership from the father to the husband. 6.Divorce – Since more than half of marriages end up in divorce, not changing your name avoids the need to revert back to your maiden name along with the avoidance of the documentation that is required. Perhaps the most important step is to obtain several certified copies of your marriage license for proof of the name change before taking on the task of completing the necessary forms to make the changes. In general, you must complete the required form and provide documentation offering proof of U.S.
To complete a name change, you must complete an application form and provide evidence of your name change, pay the applicable fees, and surrender your existing driver’s license. You should check online, by phone, or in person at your local Department of Motor Vehicles for the proper set of instructions specific to your situation. The process that you need to follow in order to change your name on a passport after marriage varies according to the length of time that has passed since you first obtained it as well as whether or not you have the documentation needed to prove it. No fee is involved with this type of change to an existing passport, unless you use expedited service.
Unless you want to have your tax return rejected, your name must match your social security number. If you change your name after marriage, you will need to notify various financial institutions, government agencies, insurance companies, physicians, dentists, and more. A general rule of thumb is that anyone whom you would notify of a change in address should also be notified of a name change.
Once you change your name, it is important to update your will, living will, trust, health care proxy, or power of attorney. Changing your name on a last will and testament, which delineates the distribution of your property, can be accomplished in writing only. If you wish to change your name on a Revocable Trust, simply rewrite each section of the original document that contains your name prior to the marriage, substituting your married name.
It is best to simply create new health care proxy or power of attorney documentation reflecting your new legal name. This is simply about a right that has been given to both, men and women; a right that we have somehow forgotten over generations to the point that we ironically question those who remind us of it. But it has been women, who since time immemorial, have been made to feel as if they have to have an identity other than their own (paradoxical as it may seem) in order to be identified as a person. But if the name is unknown for some reason, then these adopted children should be called Mawalikum (your freed slaves).
If a married couple decides to get a divorce for some reason, a woman who has taken her husband’s name will invariably have to change her marital status and her name in all her legal documents, whereas, a woman who retained her father’ name after marriage will only have to change her marital status.
At the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) all women continued to be identified by their own name followed by their father’s, irrespective of whether their father was a Muslim or non-Muslim. If one retains the father’s surname but verbally denies him fatherhood and claims that another person is the father, that too is considered illegal.
It is a subtle but sure way of stealing her identity step by step and giving her a new one. We teach them to see themselves as ‘relatives’ and not ‘absolutes’ in this world – they will always be identified as someone’s daughter, sister, wife or mother. It gives each person, man or woman, one identity and helps in establishing and protecting their individuality. By allowing women to retain their maiden names (or at least letting them make the choice), we accept their individuality and do not have this culturally conditioned compulsive need to impose our ways and customs on them.
Actually, i love being called his wife.The fact that I am married to the man I love, is a part of my identity. But there are women who think like me and i see nothing wrong with my line of thought.As I said earlier, to each his own. I have yet to hear of a woman who was forced to change her last name to adapt her husband’s. I can just imagine the 100s of tongues wagging if one woman does this until she is forced to comply. But to get it done legally to be noted for Passport, Pan card and other document kindly follow the needful mentioned below. Kindly Make a Sample format mentioning the Old Name & New Name, Basic Details, therein mention your specific reason for changing your name. The Affidavit copy & advertisement copy of newspaper is taken as a legal document for a name change for documents like Pan card, Bank Accounts, Passport, Insurance etc.


Based on your county of residence, we send you all of the forms required to notify government agencies of your new marital name.
Our document assistants prepare your personalized bridal name change papers within 48 hours of your order. Due to the tedious nature of this task, it is important to consider each of the following facets first.
Difficulties arise for your children as they mature and marry and are faced with joining a hyphenated name with the name of their spouse. You avoid the unpleasantness of other people’s disrespectful comments as well as the likelihood that many people will still refer to you as Mrs. If no males holding the family name remain, a woman may prefer to retain her maiden name in order to extend the family line. All documentation must be an original or a certified copy obtained from the issuing agency. The Department of Motor Vehicles in your state may either check electronically to verify the information or request a copy of your new Social Security card. It may be necessary to complete additional documentation if you are attempting to change your name on a commercial driver’s license. There is no need to notify the IRS of the name change since they simply verify the name and SSN that you provide through the Social Security Administration.
Since you typically need to show photo identification at financial institutions, an updated driver’s license should be obtained prior to changing your name at those locations. This should include your employer, banks, credit union, utilities, attorney, church, professional affiliations, and so on.
In some cases, you can simply create an amendment, also referred to as a codicil, through your attorney.
A living will, which sets out the health care that you wish to occur should you become ill, can be changed by incorporating a new one or by informing your physician of your name change.
We already know have to submit documentation to get her White Card so she can legally work, drive, and go to school here in the US.
Does this not imply that a man is ‘whole’ on his own while a woman’s individual identity is not so ‘individual’ after all? Of course, this does not mean that adoptive parents or guardians cannot refer to their adopted children or wards as ‘son’ or ‘daughter’ or that the adoptive parents cannot be referred to as ‘mother’ or ‘father’ simply out of respect and fondness. A woman, just like a man, cannot replace or blend her lineage with that of her husband upon marrying him. On the contrary, if one takes on another last name, but clearly acknowledges the biological father, this is not considered illegal. Although overlooked, there are far-reaching impacts of the cultural requirement for a woman to change her name at the time of getting married.
To me, this seems like the basis of a healthy, tolerant and accepting society which allows people to realise their true potential rather than shackling them on the basis of age-old norms and traditions. I am very glad that you highlighted an important social issue and I hope people would realize that it’s NOT OK for a woman to change her name after she gets married. We get a lot of communication addressing her with my name, and she refers to herself as Mrs. Does he like to be referred to as Mr Nandita, I wonder, not that this would make it more individualistic just more wholesome.
Get it notarized by the Advocate .Finally Preserve the Notarized Copy for Further Reference. As soon as you return, all of the name changes should be implemented as quickly as possible. Sign the trust amendment in the presence of a notary public and add it to the original documents for your Revocable Trust. In other words, the concern is not about the name one chooses but rather that the lineage and identity of a person must not be obscured or ignored.
We teach our girls from an early age that they will be made to change their ways, their behaviour and their names after marriage in order to be considered flexible, adaptable and ‘good wives and daughters-in-law’. U seem to forget such decisions are not religion based alone, but also on the patriarchal culture prevailing in this part of the world.
However, I will respect girl who choose to do so Voluntarily as some sort of symbol to their love,…yea right!
Whatever little grey matter I have, I use it to form my own opinions without being influenced by friends or family. One in a major circulated English daily and another in any Vernacular daily of your choice. Hence, her name – which is a major part of that lineage and ancestry – should remain her own as well. I am still myself with a mind of my own.but I am also just a woman in love with her husband.
This isn’t a problem among the educated either because, as I say, I have yet to hear of someone who was forced to change her last name.
The point is that even while i disagree with this tradition, its not as bad as it is being portrayed. He is definitely the most important person in my life, more important than everything else. I know plenty of people in the UK and USA who retained their father’s name after marriage.



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