Standing in the checkout line, I already have a pretty good idea of the total because I keep a tally as I go through the store.
Lately, I feel myself losing momentum and every day it's a battle to make myself do the things I need to do to try to move forward.
Just like my grocery list of endless items, the to-do list of my life also includes endless tasks that need to be accomplished. Since originally launching my blog series "The Financial Adventures of a Single Mom", many men and women have reached out to tell me about their parallel stories of struggle. I know that this post may be a downer for some but this is what the struggle is really like, minus the inspirational Facebook posts and the shallow memes.
Prior to sharing my story publicly, I reached out to a new acquaintance in private and told her about the realities of what I am going through. Well, I would just like for all of you reading this to keep in mind that people, above all else, want to maintain some sense of decency and pride. We live in a society that holds extreme prejudice against people living in financial struggle.
And there are a lot more people living through this difficulty than social media will ever divulge. No sooner have I made a trip to the store, erased the items I have just bought, and a new list is right there before my eyes.
Even so, I still hold my breath and literally have heart palpitations as I hand my money to the cashier.

I think about the bills that need to be paid, the things my kids need, and the fact that what's coming in currently is not enough to cover what needs to go out.
This divulgence of my truths was preempted by a public discussion on Facebook and I thought perhaps it would be an eye opener for her to know more of who I really was.
Well my Cousin Tim tells me there is a bunch of different hacks and tricks to know if you are a real Starbucks buff.
Some have dug themselves out and can look back with remembrance of how hard it was, with sympathy in being able to relate, and gratitude for now being in a better place. No matter your story or your plight, if you cannot hold your own, there are many people who will judge your every move and look upon you as a blight to society. Then there are those of us who are terrified of spending because we don't know if the next time we need to make a trip to get groceries, that there will be more. It's a pretty low feeling when your 19-year-old berates you for not managing your money well enough.
And while my closest friends who know my plight, and who see how hard I work, reassure me that I am doing my best, I still feel pretty useless. If you like strong and bold coffee you got to ask them to brew your coffee with a french press.
Buying lunch meat for my kids sandwiches, I feel a pang of guilt as I buy the cheaper meat. He knew that when you ordered a tall or grande around 20% was either foam or left unfilled so you can add creamer.

My Cousin Tim had a regular customer that would ask for a non-iced coffee and was starting to wonder why in the world wouldn’t someone just order a normal coffee. The guy looked over and got offended for some reason and took off to Pete’s Coffee across the street. Typically a chai latte is going to run you around $4 but the way my Cousin Tim taught me will only cost around $1.75. You are saving money and in all honesty it is probably better for you, it isn’t loaded with sugar like a normal latte is. Yes it is Robin the Holy Grail of all coffee sizes!” When my Cousin Tim told me about this beauty I about lost my consciousness and had to run to a Starbucks to see it in person. My Cousin Tim would whip these together for me ever so often if I needed a quick shot of Starbucks goodness.
Tim once again new how to make that dollar stretch and he would use the extra droppings from recent fresh shots and would save it up in one of these shot cups.

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