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15.02.2016
Self-esteem can have a profound influence on a person’s thinking, emotions, and responses to stressful life events. The showing of affection or indeed support was not in abundant supply in many Irish homes and sadly this remains the case.
The Therapy: The presenting issue will be dealt with in a relaxed initial consultation which will allow for all aspects of the therapeutic process to be discussed and all questions answered openly, fully and confidentially.
I think we do a huge disservice to our children when we stress self-esteem instead of self-respect. For more posts on the topic of Children, visit Bridget Chumbley’s place, One Word at a Time. When we understand that before anything else we are sons and daughters of the Living God, it will change the way we look at ourselves.
Amen…I think we, as a society, are seeing the consequences of placing so much emphasis on self esteem in recent years. We are relational creatures and we find our way through our primary relationship with our creator, who loves us dearly. Tremendous teaching…I hope this makes it to every parents email, blog or whatever…just so they see this truth! Confidence is one of my favorite traits, as I believe lack of confidence and self-esteem is one of the easiest ways to sell ourselves short. So confidence and esteem can be gained by changing our outer reality, by it is most often gained by changing our inner one.
This is a huge problem in my field of mental health—equating arrogance and self-destructive behaviors with high self-esteem.
A person with high self-esteem greatly respects him or herself (that’s what “esteem” means). The primary error with narcissists or arrogant people is they feel they must be right all the time or there’s something wrong with them. The arrogant person, criminal, and racist do not esteem themselves (at any level), which is why they evade, deny, lie, reject, and twist facts—to avoid this realization.
An “example of Bob Smith’s arrogance came when he took his 12-year-old grandson and another adult up in his plane for a late afternoon flight over the Rockies. This example is certainly illustrative of arrogance; however, it’s not an example of high self-esteem (or any self-esteem). In the example, Bob Smith rejects the air traffic controller’s warning, without reason, and crashes the plane as a result. A person with high self-esteem (let’s call her Amelia) would’ve handled this situation much differently.


This 77-page essential guide to overcoming insomnia is jam-packed with scientifically proven techniques, tools, and skills for improving sleep, managing worrisome thoughts, and putting insomnia to bed for good. The person with low self-esteem may see life as not worth living, and see everyday stressors as completely overwhelming. An individual with a healthy self-respect “likes” themselves — even when encountering the inevitable failures in life. If they sold self-esteem in the Sky Mall catalog, it would like like a smiling (but evil) Buddha.
Being the mother of a 11-year-old girl going on 16 or something, I’m dealing with this on a daily basis.
Self-esteem, essentially, is confidence in one’s ability to think, make choices, and act on those choices, as well as feeling deserving of happiness and benefiting from one’s hard work and accomplishments.  Above all, it means valuing the facts of reality and reason to guide one’s life over the course of many years. Arrogant people act as if they know everything, and anything that contradicts what they believe is either evaded or rejected out of hand. This is a huge error, as no matter how smart we are, we can make mistakes in our thinking or actions. Criminals (falsely) believe they can obtain self-esteem by exploiting, deceiving, assaulting, or taking advantage of others.
They try to make themselves feel better than others based on non-essential physical characteristics— such as skin color or nationality.
People with high-self esteem rarely (if ever) evade facts or rational advice because they know reality is their survival tool and means of achieving and maintaining happiness.
Coming back into a small airport south of Denver just after dark, Smith was told by the tower operator that he was coming in too low and needed to increase his altitude. Unfortunately, professionals in my field often equate high-self esteem with things like arrogance or narcissism, when these concepts are completely antithetical. What makes this arrogant (or just plain stupid) is Bob doesn’t consider the advice of a professional whose expertise is guiding pilots safely to the ground.
Amelia would have gathered all the data she needed to make a safe landing, including checking her instruments, using her vision, and checking in with the air traffic controller for guidance. A person can’t have too much reason, knowledge, logic, acceptance of reality and of one’s limitations, or self-respect.
Steve Orma is a CBT clinical psychologist, recognized mental health expert, and specialist in the treatment of anxiety, stress, and insomnia.
If the latter is you, then you need to look at finding and creating a sense of self-worth in order to have a higher sense of self-esteem. To esteem something is to “hold in high regard.” Self-respect and self-esteem are quite different.


While on the other hand, you raised an excellent point, it’s almost like self-respect is not even part of the equation. When life is lived in fellowship with him, to his glory, all the rest falls into its proper place.
But my Dad has long insisted that Self-esteem is bogus, and I think self-respect got thrown out with it, because us kids got neither. They’re not interested in facts that contradict what they feel or want to be true, because that would be admitting (in their minds) they aren’t as good or worthy as the person who knows something they don’t.
The healthy person knows this and doesn’t let a lapse in knowledge or a mistake threaten his self-esteem.
When they get away with it, they feel “good” about themselves because they’ve put something over on others, and they feel “superior” as a result.
In recent years the importance of fostering and promoting self-esteem in children has become a vital aspect of parenting.
Self-esteem balances precariously upon a comparison with someone who’s always “a little better.” When we esteem someone or something, we face serious trouble if we do not measure up to those standards.
In fact, he embraces facts, whether those facts come from himself or someone else, because he knows that knowledge will help him in his life.
He evades vital information that would have helped him land safely, and instead, he crashes the plane and kills himself and two passengers. Amelia, being a person who respects herself and the lives of her passengers, would never ignore advice from a controller, because she knows it could lead to a serious accident.
The danger with equating arrogance, criminality, and racism with “high” self-esteem, is to corrupt the concept of self-esteem. Our esteem may ebb and flow, whereas a healthy self-respect (liking ourselves) is always grounded in what we are (and are not) — not in what we can or cannot accomplish. He takes any type of discipline as if they were directed at his spirit and not his actions. Yes, a good self-respect will help him some, but if he doesn’t (with the help of his counselor) work through these things that are tearing him down, he will have no self-esteem and therefore will have no self-respect.



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