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With that in mind, here are some suggestions of how you can deal with criticism and play your part in improving communication in your relationships. If your current reactions are not helping – you or the situation – it is time to change them. Insisting the other person is wrong or shouldn’t have criticised you is unlikely to create any change in either how you feel or how they act going forward.
If you blame them for your reaction (such as you feeling hurt or angry), it puts any responsibility for changing how you feel out of reach, which renders you a victim. If you are not in any physical danger, these fear responses to criticism are unnecessary and unlikely to help.
To avoid an automatic reaction next time you hear criticism, stop for a moment (take some deep breaths or count to 10) before you say anything. Take responsibility for your response by thinking about what you want (rather than what you don’t want). If you don’t know – ask.  Gently and respectfully, ask them what it is that they really want. If the way the criticism was delivered was challenging,  you might want to let the other person know their impact by using “I felt xxx” rather than “you made me feel xxx”. Suggest how their message could have been communicated more constructively ie in a way that might have had a more positive impact on you. If you feel the criticism is unfair, remember it is their opinion and they have a right to it.
If you genuinely believe the other person is trying to control or intimidate you, you need to ask yourself if the relationship is valuable enough for you to persevere with and whether it would be better if it ended.


It’s a very personal decision, but you may want to seek professional help with making it, whether it concerns a personal or professional relationship.
The author of marriage-plot novels so aspirational they've caused generations of women to swoon, Jane Austen has come to symbolize unadulterated sentimentality in our culture.
By making just a few adjustments to how you interact with it means you potentially create a substantial change – in any relationship. Judgements and criticism can surface when there is frustration and the quality of communication is deteriorating. A reaction to feeling attacked is often a need to defend (fight), withdraw (flight) or be silent (freeze). Maybe even say that you need to leave for a couple of minutes and come back when you feel calmer. Ask for what you want or at least consider a response that is more likely to help you achieve it. Do focus on what they are asking for and really listen to what they are saying (and perhaps what they are not saying).
I came a long way to understanding who I am in a work environment, how I respond to things and what makes me tick. Yet the charming romances between plucky young ladies of slender means and eligible gentlemen of good character only reflect a small portion of Austen's true genius. Criticism is generally just a confused and often ineffective way of asking for a change in behaviour.
Use genuine questions to understand and help you uncover what they may feel is not working.


Far from being a sentimental idealist, she was a clear-sighted realist who ruthlessly satirized the social restrictions of her day, as well as the petty vices and peccadilloes of her fellow humans.
Accordingly, no author can better help readers past, present and future to navigate the vagaries of courtship, treacherous social terrain, and even the modern workplace.
Wherever there are people, there's a bon mot from Austen that could aid them in understanding and dealing with each other. We feel we would not have been able to move forward without her direction and encouragement.E & C - Sisters & Business PartnersYou were very clear and made it easy for us to understand each other's different points of view. I loved the method you used to help me put myself in his world and understand our differences.Isabel & LeoWorking with Juliette helped me to discover a healthier and more empowering way to relate to my emotions. As a guy who spent most of his time stuck in his head, thinking things through 'logically' this was challenging for me. I gotta tell you, life is much sweeter when you get out of your head and listen to your heart. I see myself differently now, wiser, more aware, stronger and more able to admit to and overcome challenges.Paul HThings were pretty dire when we started seeing Juliette, and I can confidently say that without her support and coaching we would not have stayed together. She taught us both how to communicate properly.  To be honest, it also helped me in relationships outside of my marriage (both personally and professionally).




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