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The new movie The Other Woman starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, features three women who join forces to get revenge on the guy who, it turns out, was sleeping with all three of them (and married to one of them). The best kind of revenge is the kind that has nothing to do with your ex and everything to do with you. Nothing is more motivating on the treadmill than the revenge of looking hotter than ever post-breakup. Start a blog, take up a new hobby (preferably one where you'll meet new people, like joining a running club), read a Russian novel, write a Great American Novel, paint your room, learn how to take really good photographs, sort out your closet and host a clothing swap, learn chess with a friend, teach yourself Mandarin -- basically, keep yourself busy with something that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards.
Splurge on a high-end sex toy for you or your next partner and put the sex you had with your ex to shame. Disconnect with your ex on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and any other ways you continue to be weirdly "social" with each other. We get that you want to mark this occasion -- you want to do something to prove to the world that you've moved on.
Never underestimate the benefits of distracting yourself with the joys of being single so that you won't be tempted to indulge in any late-night revenge-planning.
We're guessing your friends, family and distant acquaintances are all sick of hearing you talk about what went wrong in your relationship by now.

But while creative, collaborative revenge on an ex makes for catchy movie tag lines -- "The oddest friends are about to get even" -- and meme-a-rific blog posts, it rarely feels as good in real life. Sure, if your ex happens to witness any of these acts of transformation, you will feel a sense of sweet justice, but that's not your primary motivation. Because nothing puts your own problems in perspective like helping out people who are even less fortunate than you are. Maybe one day you can be friends again, but for now, if you're even considering creative forms of revenge, going cold turkey is your best bet.
Sure, you could buy a lottery ticket or sell your pristine collection of vintage action dolls on eBay.
Don't just mutter this like a mantra, though, or tape the saying to your bathroom mirror to help dry your tears in the morning: Instead, actually make it happen by learning a few new tricks and tips to apply to your next relationship.
Try masturbation, online dating (if only to get a few nice emails from strangers in your inbox) or flirting therapy (it's like smiling -- forcing yourself to do it will make you feel better).
The whole point of these acts is to erase your ex from the picture and make you the star of your own life once again. You don't even need to have actual rebound sex with someone, though a rebound make-out sesh may just make you feel happier than a room without a roof.

We're putting together a collection of stories about failed relationships, and we'd love to hear yours! You can send it to us here, via our contact form. Think of it as a chance to put it all down for posterity, or to help others avoid the same pitfalls. No matter how humiliating the situation, you are continuing to make him or her the star of your show. We won't be so crass as to suggest you might meet someone new this way, but we know it crossed your mind. Or, if you prefer, think of it simply as venting to two complete strangers who promise to take your side. All that creative energy you were thinking of applying toward a meme-a-rific revenge strategy?

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