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In very emotional states or acting in a codependent manner we don’t usually make the best choices. For examples John gets drunk and Sally, his wife, makes excuses to his supervisor when he calls, or a 20 year old won’t get off the couch and look for a job but says home using up the family resources. In the second the son may get angry or turn to drugs of alcohol if he has to get out on his own and he is not ready.

Calling a friend or talking to someone more objective when you are feeling intense emotion and pressure to do something often a very wise choice. In both cases, and many more examples, one should think seriously about the possible consequences, but if no “boundaries” are set why would the behavior not continue?
Sometimes when we are being codependent with another person we seem blinded to logical choices and frequently make emotional choices that “enable” the other person to continue poor or inappropriate behaviors.

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