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Honestly, we all know that first day back in the office after a long weekend pretty much nothing much gets accomplished. This entry was posted in 2014, Awkward, Coffee, Comedy, Douchebaggery, Etiquette, Events, Funny, Holidays, Humor, Life, New York living, NYC, People, Pet Peeves, Rantings & Ravings, Rudeness, Uncategorized, Vacation, Weekend Getaway, WTF and tagged annoying, awkward, back to work, coffee, coworker, Douchebaggery, etiquette, events, funny, holiday, holiday weekend, humor, job, life, long weekend, Memorial Day, Memorial Day weekend, nyc, NYC Life, office, people, pet peeve, ranting, rat race, raving, rude, shut up, three day weekend, vacation, weekend, weekend getaway, work, work week, WTF. It’s even worse now because my job is in FULL gear, so I can’t even get away with that lazy day back, staring at the window, and it is making me grumpy!
Let me tell you instead, what I did NOT do: I did not BBQ, I did not wave an American flag (except a virtual one on FB), I did not go shopping for anything on sale or otherwise, I did not buy a car, I did not go to the movies, I did not rent a movie, I did not wake up early, I did not got to the beach, I did not to camping, I did not go to a parade, I did not complain about the heat, I did not . Hope the jolly co-worker hasn’t heard about your hilarious posts and is thus tempted to give it a read, lol. Is it sad that I can’t wait to get a job so that I can be surrounded once again by people who annoy the f**ck out of me? Well, I WAS going to tell you about how incredibly fun it was to spend Memorial Day weekend in NYC. Hehe you would soooo not want to see me after a long weekend – I am totally the bright eyed person you’re talking about!
Yes, the long weekends are great, but most of us don’t want to hear everyone’s details about them! So, what I am gathering from your post here is that you’d like to see some more pics of my adorable niece and nephew and all of the fun we had over the weekend?!
TOTALLY get where you’re coming from – how do folks get excited about going back to work? I’ll admit that I really do enjoy my job and career, but like most normal people I also take great pleasure in having time off and not being back in the office for a bit. Almost as if having a national holiday is a sin, and closing the office on those days is like committing a federal offense, or asking someone to share their bacon!


It’s like that summer Friday afternoon before a three day holiday weekend such as Memorial Day. Of course, if the weekend is a pouring rain, windy, cold mess and the co-worker has been stuck at home with three screaming kids, well then I might be so jolly returning to work too, but alas, looks like with the nice weekend weather, no pass for her this time around. It’s good for our sanity to decompress without the pressures of deadlines and job related stress. Each hour drags and seems like forever, while no one is responding to emails or picking up the phone. There is an unwritten rule…we do not talk in the elevator first thing in the morning. My biggest thing isn’t being back at work, but how crazy my hours changed over this time. The last thing I want to hear at 9:15am the first day back at work is your nasally drone of a voice happily telling me about your family vacation, what your kids did, the amazing hotel you stayed in, the celebrity you might have seen out in the Hamptons eating at an expensive restaurant with broccoli stuck in their teeth, blah blah blah blah blah. The last thing I want to deal with is some sort of demented Energizer Bunny of a coworker running around all happy to be back in the office on the verge of belting out Broadway show tunes all morning. Then regales all of us with detailed information about what they did, where they went, what they ate, how many times they took a dump, etc.
I feel like putting a roofie of laxatives in their coffee so they’d be trapped in a bathroom stall all day. No one is ever allowed to have idle chit chat during working hours in her book or she will SHUSH you. They bop around the place sticking their head into every office and cubicle to make sure you’re there to say hello and tell you about their wonderful weekend getaway down by the shore or wherever the heck they went.
The worst is when you get trapped in the elevator with this spawn, or in the kitchen while making your first cup of coffee for the morning.


You try to avoid this person all morning until the coffee kicks in and the drowsiness dissipates from your mind because if you don’t you just might strangle them. You just nod your head, smile a lot, and as they babble on thoughts of slamming their head into the refrigerator door pass through your mind. A  I learned something from every man I met or exchanged emails with, and Lou taught me a few words in Spanish.A  Ole! We can take a little walk, maybe get our feet wet, and then lie on a blanket and listen to the waves. I do the same thing myself, when the mood strikes.A  And how about this for being an "in tune with women" kinda guy?A  A few days after I had ordered myself 2 new green dresses and several in black to add to my collection from a mail order company named Newport News, he sent an email asking:A  "So, what are you wearing right now? A  For Christ Sake!!A  How about saving the Taxpayers a buck?A  In addition to that $6 million you've already blown by hovering and covering me, and scheduling a proper Face to Base meeting in your office; at my convenience? Dramatic, but no drama.A  Short black skirt, or long black dress?A  Heels or boots?A  Camo, or commando? Until then, as in the end,there is much more to come.A A A  Once Upon a Time, a little mushroom popped through the moss covered ground of the Southeast Alaska Rainforest. Grant, Attorney at Law, Juneau, AK From Wedding Bells to Tales to Tell: The Affidavit of Eric William Swanson, my former spouse AFFIDAVIT OF SHANNON MARIE MCCORMICK, My Former Best Friend THE AFFIDAVIT OF VALERIE BRITTINA ROSE, My daughter, aged 21 THE BEAGLE BRAYS! HELL'S BELLS: THE TELLS OF THE ELVES RING LOUD AND CLEAR IDENTITY THEFT, MISINFORMATION, AND THE GETTING THE INFAMOUS RUNAROUND Double Entendre and DoubleSpeak, Innuendos and Intimidation, Coercion v Common Sense, Komply (with a K) v Knowledge = DDIICCKK; Who's Gunna Call it a Draw?



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