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This is part of an FYI series on navigating digital technology and social media with young people, and a multipart roundtable on issues related to sexuality. In this final installment of our panel discussion, we’ll get some of the best tips and strategies our contributing leaders have concerning how to help young people navigate digital technology as they begin to date.
Fuller Youth Institute: The whole process of flirting, dating, being in relationships, and the like has changed quite a bit thanks to digital tech. Billy Jack Blankenship: I definitely think a good rule of thumb is to never argue or fight over text, and young people are often the worst about this.
Annie: Sadly, it is simply part of our culture that young people are hard-wired to have difficult conversations in this manner. Billy Jack: I encourage young people that all digital conversations should lead to, or point to conversations in person.

Brad Howell: We need to develop healthy habits when using digital tools to nurture relationships.
FYI: It might be helpful to note here that research has found that many young people worry about parents taking away digital privileges if kids share about negative experiences. You will find all the kind of sweet, funny, love, b,day, thank you, sms txt Msgs fwds, Friendship & Birthday Messages here. As you talk with teenagers about this, how do you address the issues of what is helpful and appropriate (or not) in romantic relationships online as opposed to in “real life”? Young people are so much less inhibited over text—they say and do things that they would never say or do in person. There is a host of things we could discuss, but top of the list should be any activities that deny another person’s full humanness. I tend to tell students to make a general rule that they will not have important conversations over text.

That makes it incredibly easy for miscommunications to happen, or for people to say things that they wouldn’t face-to-face or over the phone. In relationships I think this involves being mindful about whether we are using technology to try to control or manipulate other people for our own purposes. As the adults in their lives we have to show them that there is something more valuable than avoiding awkwardness. The way young people incorporate digital technology into their relationships may seem foreign or unnatural to us, but it is important that our focus remains on the who rather than only the how.
This is a difficult habit to break in our young people, but I think it is essential to their ability to learn what real connection feels like with someone of the opposite sex.

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