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Should i get back with my ex for the fourth time zone,what to get your almost boyfriend for christmas,how 2 win your ex girlfriend back home - Step 3

We did our own research into the lexical world of VAGINA, and this produced some interesting results.
The fact that Republicans are trying to legislate something they are unwilling to even say adds extra layers of hilarity to VAGINAgate. In a world conspicuously devoid of adverts for wiener cleaner, it’s a bit disconcerting to see ‘Woo hoo for my froo froo!’ posted on the side of telephone boxes throughout the country.
Such terms are perhaps just about acceptable when you have a little girl with a tricycle injury and don’t want her uttering the C-bomb. The problem with euphemising the term ‘VAGINA’ is that it takes serious discussion of them off to the menu.
Of course, the implication that you can’t really love your VAGINA unless you use a certain product is deeply impertinent. Until they finally realised that it annihilated everything good inside your flange, douching that made you smell detergent-like was an incredibly popular activity, promoted mostly by VAGINA-haters in the US. In light of this, it’s of utmost importance that you learn to call your VAGINA what it is, and furthermore, accept it in its natural state. Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett and Holly Baxter are co-founders and editors of online magazine, The Vagenda. Is Brexit a marvellous opportunity to renew our imperial contacts?  On the one hand we have UKIP, who tell us that “Outside the EU the world is our oyster, and the Commonwealth the pearl within”. Of the over 100 former colonies, protectorates or dominions once ruled by Britain (depending on how you count them) 52 eventually transformed into the Commonwealth, although 31 are not that significant for trade. Perhaps the Brexiters, if there are no specific agreements with the EU, will rely on negotiating trade agreements just like all other members of the World Trade Organisation.
Apart from those students who fancy decolonising education, and toppling statues in Oxford, and returning golden cockerels from Cambridge to Nigeria, the majority of people under 50 only have a hazy idea of what the Empire and Commonwealth were all about. From Bermuda being claimed following a British shipwreck in 1609 (now a tax haven) through to our reluctantly handing over Hong Kong to the Chinese in 1997 (tears were shed)  all the countries of the empire were variously conquered , taken over or handed over to the mighty British Empire by corrupt local elites.
To understand those who wish for Brexit we have to carefully explain how their great grandparents, grandparents and parents, benefited from what was in effect the plunder of a quarter of the world by one country. In 1169 Ireland was the first country conquered and colonised as part of the nascent Empire. We could even go back to the public schools of the nineteenth century, which nurtured the rulers of Empire. It is not just the more expensively educated of those who wish the UK to plough its own way in the world again who may have been taught that the British are somehow naturally superior and don’t need to cooperate.
Through the more jingoistic elements in the school curriculum, juvenile literature and later films of books (such as Tarzan, the Jungle Book), the lower classes were encouraged to believe in their economic, political, social and racial superiority to the rest of the subjects of empire. The domestic underclass could become the imperial over class and all British classes could unite in a national patriotic superiority.
Historian Deana Heath has noted that our national history curriculum now manages to avoid tackling the actual impact of empire on either the colonised people or the colonisers. It is a matter for debate as to who will want to trade freely with us English, if we decide to go it alone. Sally Tomlinson is honorary research fellow at Oxford University's Department of Education.
Perhaps because our VAGINAS, especially those of our American sisters are, much like Stalingrad, increasingly under siege (Stalingrad is another euphemism for VAGINA). The feminist backlash to the suggestion of transvaginal probes involved women inundating Senator Ryan McDoogle’s Facebook page with detailed information about their lady bits. From the Inga Muscio classic Cunt: A Declaration of Independence to Dr Catherine Blackledge’s The Story of V, to Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman, women have been trying to wrestle their vaginas out of male hands and away from male terms which don’t belong to us for ages now.


Half the population carry them around in their pants without freaking out, yet if VAGINAS were supposed to complement the saccharine, flower-gathering view of everyday women by smelling like a lavender patch, they would.
VAGINAS are a wonderful arrangement of flaps capable of the most magnificent things, just as God, in Her infinite wisdom, intended. Boris Johnson has been falling off his bike with enthusiasm for world trade outside the EU. On the other hand we have David Cameron banging on about 40 per cent of our trade being with the EU and the difficulty of doing deals with the rest of the world.
The Trans-Pacific Partnership recently sealed between the USA, Japan and ten other Pacific Rim countries included five Commonwealth countries. Or perhaps they are relying on recreating the Empire Marketing Board, which worked to support British Trade in the 1920s.
In trying to explain this all to students we could start with the map of the world which hung on classroom walls in England until the 1960s. Our empire’s high point was around 1897: some still see that time as being when Britain was at its best.
Its population were subsequently used as very cheap labour in England, especially after the famine.
As the  Contemporary Review Journal told the public schools in 1899, that as “British rule of every race brought within its sphere, has the incalculable benefit of just law, tolerant trade and  considerate government” it was the duty of the British to provide competent rulers.
The values underpinning the public school curriculum percolated down to the middle class grammar schools and the elementary schools of the working classes. The strength of this solidarity is still present in the 21st century and goes some way to explaining the xenophobia, racism and hostility that is still such an obvious part of the British heritage. Perhaps the Brexit referendum is the last death throes of Empire working its way out of our systems. State representative Lisa Brown hilariously offended some Republicans last week when she had the temerity to utter the word during a ridiculously euphemistic debate about female contraception and abortion. The fact that ‘VAGINA’ is back with a vengeance can only be good in the face of patronising advertising such as the below, from a well-known feminine hygiene brand that we don’t care to publicise here. Celebrating because you got the right product to make your natural VAGINA less disgusting: not exactly the passive aggressive message we relish. The potential for hilarity (pastrami curtains, anyone?) has been eschewed in favour of prudishness.
How on earth are we supposed to retain possession of them if we can’t even call them what they are? Lisa Brown being banned from saying "vagina", it's no wonder America were at the forefront (pun intended) of fanny denial. Once you do that, you’ll realise that anyone who says otherwise is most likely a DOUCHEBAG. Canada has already done a deal with the EU. The UK would have to negotiate separate trade deals with its larger former colonies, if they were agreeable. After Brexit would there have to be barriers and passports needed to travel into Ireland or would be it easier if the North of Ireland were to rejoin the rest of Ireland? The Headmaster of Harrow School agreed, telling the Royal Colonial Institute in 1895 that “the boys of today are the statesmen, generals and administrators of the future… in their hands is the future of the British Empire”.
As one elderly respondent to  research published by historian  Stephen Humphrey’s in 1981 commented  “Froggies, Eyties, Dagoes, …the only way we’d describe them was that they was all beneath you”.
From one canal to another, from the Suez crisis of 1956 through to the Panama Papers 60 years later, the stories of our lives in Britain have largely been a story of just how hard some of us find it to adjust to no longer being top dog. He is giving a lecture entitled 'Should We Stay or Should We Go' at the London School of Economics tomorrow.


We encountered two Italian exchange students who told us that the standard slang term for down there in Italy is ‘potato’ - a visual we’re finding it slightly difficult to get our heads around.
They suggest a variety of terms, ranging from ‘mini’ to ‘twinkle’ to ‘hoo ha’, before uttering the immortal tagline ‘whatever you call it, make sure you love it.’ VOM. The whole ‘froo froo’ shebang has led to an internet-wide speculation on how you should refer to your lady parts - with equally cutesy results. Fundamentalist Christians are no better, as the online post ’51 Christian Friendly Terms For VAGINA’, which jokingly suggests such legends as ‘sin bucket’, ‘devil sponge’ and ‘neighbour of anus’, goes to show. Which is why it is of utmost importance that, if you can bring yourself to do it, you stop referring to your ‘la-la’ and start using the proper anatomical terminology. Pussy polishers that claim to say woo woo to your frou frou are just the natural extension of douching, which should have died a death before we even knew they did more harm than good.
Included in these were “A book of Empire Dinners”, “A Calender of Fruits and Vegetables from the Empire”, and “Why Every woman should buy British”. We have to  explain that from the 1950s, when the ungrateful natives began to demand their own countries back, the British government actually invited a lot of those natives to come over to the ‘Mother country’ and work at the nasty jobs the British didn’t want; and we also need to contend with years of  anti-immigrant propaganda . However, we would then need to balance this with the views of the descendents of the ten thousand or so Kenyans killed during the 1950s uprising against Colonial rule. Upper and upper middle class boys at public schools were encouraged to believe in an ideal of selfless imperial service, a sense of racial superiority and imperial chauvinism. A schoolgirl, meanwhile, insisted that her mother referred to it as her ‘fairy’, which is just begging for years of psychoanalysis later in life when she realises that at the same age, she believed that a fairy took her teeth in exchange for money. The same happened to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who since deleting the posts became the lucky recipient of oodles of hand-knitted and crocheted VAGINAS. We wouldn’t go so far as to suggest that you inundate the Facebook page of that ‘feminine hygiene product’ (read: vagina perfume) with ‘VULVA’ posts, but here’s the link and a labelled diagram of the general area. A recipe included with this last missive described how to make the King’s Empire Christmas Pudding, to be cooked entirely out of Empire ingredients.
One little girl told researcher Rob Jeffcoate in 1979, “once we owned the whole world, but now we’ve only got a little piece. This was nurtured by the development of Social Darwinism and claims of a genetic white British superiority over non-white races. Shout it from your office cubicle, your freelancer’s Starbucks table, your library cubby hole (also a euphemism for VAGINA).
Finally - the mystery of where those milk teeth disappear to is solved (and with it, the origins of the possibly mythological disease ‘VAGINA dentata'). Then there was the viral video, ‘Republicans, Get in my VAGINA.’ VAGINAS are back, and they mean business. Perhaps they could also suggest that we resurrect the Professorial Chair in Imperial Economic Relations at the LSE, funded by the Empire Marketing Board? Lloyd, put it “by the 1860s British opinion simply regarded the Empire’s black and brown subjects as natural inferiors”. Perhaps some of those leading the campaign to exit the EU still hold such beliefs? What does explain their ardent belief that we would be so much better off if we were completely in charge of ourselves (and others) again?



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Comments

  • Tehluke, 03.04.2016 at 21:17:25

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