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From out of the blackness,a€?the physics of clouds,a€?a light is struck,a€?sputters,a€?gaspsa€?for air,a€?finds it,a€?fans it,a€?and settles. Did you know they chained up your half-brother, Cerberus?a€?Even at the Gates of Hell, hea€™s all bronze bark and no bite.
Also, a whispered word in your ear, friend:a€?Chirona€™s corrupt.a€?Have you not hearda€?about he and Deianeira?
Youa€™ll need a heavy axe and your best knifea€?with which you firsta€?slice off the penis, the testicles,a€?then with said axe, hack off head.
For the first, stuff the meat and intestines inside the hide.a€?Cover it with the stomach, splotchy side up. With the other, lay out the white bones, with the choicest (meatiest) on top.a€?Rub them generously with the fat, so they glisten, tempt. His men were a bit wonky in the beginning but after a few tries they looked viable, but vulnerable as fuck.
My first thought was a€?go straight to Hera with thisa€™ - dona€™t pussyfoot around: shea€™s poised to really pounce on Zeus this time.
When I was bound to that rock, after the third day, I began to realise that this eagle was ceaseless.
Ia€™ve heard youa€™re very intelligent, and also hospitable, charitable, civilised, a born teacher who shuns violence -- just like me. Yet my day may still come.a€?Hea€™ll need me, to tell Him howa€?a new conspiracya€?(I see it even now)a€?strips Him of his sceptrea€?and all his privileges. I'm with a pack of American cyclists in the heart of northern Italy's wine country, struggling up and soaring down the formidable hills that are everywhere pinstriped with vineyards.
Suddenly I feel like a time traveler, catapulted back to the Old World, when powdered stag horns served as medicine and astronomy was a noble science.
A few days after Easter, we're heading north towards a rolling mountain range known as the Langhe. Having brought dozens of American tourists to the Cantina del Conte, Claudio is now counted as a friend of its proprietor, Luigi Pelissero, who is on his knees weeding the vineyard with his granddaughter as we drive up. As we file downstairs to the cantina, situated beneath heavy oak rafters that date back 500 years, I reflect how Grinzane Cavour is one of those towns that embodies Piedmontese wine culture. Upstairs, as Pelissero fastens the paperwork necessary for transport of wine over the corks, I ask him about the old bottles of Barolo displayed on a shelf.
What a fine family tradition, I think, wondering how my life would have been different had my parents reared me with quality Barolo.
On the drive home, I ask Claudio what it's like to grow up in a culture where wine is such an integral part of life.
Claudio started learning more about wine from his uncle, who owned a family-style restaurant and took the young boy to purchase wine from the cantine sociali, places where small producers pool their grapes to make wine collectively. Patricia Thomson is a regular contributor to PASTA and is president of La Dolce Vita Wine Tours.
Your brothers too.a€?With Chimaera, she gave up and squeezed,a€?letting all the bile in her womb gush forth.a€?I see the future!
Not being a mound-lover, I said to Eps, Ia€™ll work with this rock - you make something of these new mounds.
If they cana€™t find anything else to say, they say you slept with your mother, killed your father, got ravaged by bird. As we pedal past acres of Cortese grapes which produce the white wine called Gavi di Gavi, our Piedmontese guide, Claudio Bisio, continues his impromptu lecture. Being a modern-day American, I'm used to discussions about winemaking revolving about soil analysis, fermentation technology, phenolics, and oxidation. Rather than being dominated by technology and terminology, it's homey and familiar - the result of growing up with a vineyard in your backyard alongside the vegetable garden, and having a wine glass at your plate by the time you're age five, feet barely brushing the floor.
This is Big Wine country - land of bright and sassy Dolcetto, rustic Barbera, and imperial Barolo.


What's more, as the Italian wine industry has professionalized over the past few decades, producers have had little trouble selling their more profitable bottled product.
Not only this 15th century house and its occupant, who carries on the tradition of his grandfather, the Count, and generations of nameless vinters before him. He closes his collar, afraid of catching cold, then proceeds to fill our demijohns, sucking the end of a long plastic tube like someone siphoning gas from a car. On the other hand, I can't imagine any normal, red-blooded American teenager wanting to spend their birthday with their parents.
Not surprisingly, some of his earliest memories revolve around the family vineyard his father and uncles tended. At that time, family restaurants generally sold only house wine bought in bulk directly from producers and served in unlabeled bottles, which one ordered by grape type.
Claudio is carrying a bottle of Barbera from last year's session which he plans to taste for the first time. No?a€?I caught a glimpse of the gruesome slut once.a€?Instead of legs, she had a penis, long and coiled thick. You see ahead, but then if you try and change it, the alternativea€™s not necessarily that great either. This 39-year-old Italian who grew up trampling grapes underfoot has proven to be an informative wine guide, so we listen attentively. We may know more about wines from different parts of the globe than the average Italian (who retains a fervent regionalism in this regard), but we'll never be as relaxed with our knowledge. There on the wall is an engraving of Camillo Benso, the Count of Cavour, who was Prime Minister of Italy from 1850-61 and the owner of the castle that literally overshadows Pelissero's shop in the town of Grinzane Cavour. There's also the 12th century castle towering above, where local producers bring their wine every summer for a judging, hoping to earn a spot in its prestigious wine museum and enoteca.
They're in the unlabeled bottles of fresh, fruity wine that are still set on your table at a tiny countryside restaurant. My hands are cold and stained red with the fragrant liquid, which drips through my fingers as I shake and empty each bottle. That's the allure of Mediterranean wine cultures, and it's precisely the lesson I wanted to absorb. Barolo producers set aside 50 to 60 bottles from a harvest the year a child is born, he explains. Claudio remembers the festa after the harvest, as well as his chores - hauling bottles, fetching corks, pressing grapes underfoot. And they're in the groin-vaulted cellar of Claudio's 15th century house, which has a vat in the corner for pressing grapes.
Some are four decades old, made of thick, weighty glass; others are recycled from last week's meals.
He always had something else a€?more importanta€™.) Epimetheus complained but did my bidding. The world is wide and strange, full of good high views and grimmer monstrous sights below board too. So when Claudio invited me to help select and bottle his year's supply of table wine, I jumped at the chance. As we putter past ancient hilltowns and vineyards reawakening from winter, he tells me that it was only 20 years ago or so that many producers started selling wine by the bottle. Each district in Italy has one - a combined wine store and tasting room featuring the wine from that region.
Claudio then ciphens the wine from demijohn to bottle using a special pressure-sensitive hose that automatically shuts off when the wine reaches the bottleneck. Having combined the pleasures of handcraft and harvest, I'm satisfied that I've had a taste of the good life.
Soon our garrison is ready for the corking machine - a cast-iron device that resembles a old-fashioned water-pump.


Claudio greases its moving parts with olive oil, while I apply a light coating to the corks. One by one, we set a bottle in position, pull the handle, and compress the cork inside a metal iris.
A  Due to the format of the B of A email, and the copious amounts of "filler" statements they use; the series is a bit difficult to follow.
Still brand new, it will be completely transformed in a year and requires some experience to judge at this stage.
The culture of analyzing wine - looking, smelling, tasting, comparing - has come to the fore only in Claudio's generation.
I like to use my labels, have a cellar with 20 bottles of Barbera from 1995, 1997, and so on, you know?
A  I usually write correspondence to fit the lowest common denominator, but how low can one go?A  Although I'm willing to bet that if I reverted to primal grunts, and what could be considered a primitive, yet well understood gesture even in our modern world; that someone on the other side of the Banking Center counter might have their mind bulb flash, if only momentarily. I have a few of my portion of the email, as I cut and pasted it into my regular email service; don't know how they lost theirs.
They relate to the Merlin Teller, and how a fully paid balance of mine is being carried on their books as an outstanding balance on their system for months after I paid the account in full, probably sometime in October of 2007. I was repeatedlyA  told this same information by various B of AA  staff that I spoke with in person, numerous times, in various locations, but I did not record the conversations and wish that I had. When first asked how and why they would do that; as it didn't sound logical or legal to me, I was informed by more than one staff person at more than one branch that it was expected to be carried for 16 to 19 Additional months!A  That is some kind of accounting system. A  That didn't sound accurate, as I was able to access the information on both the old 3732 account AND the new account until approximately January of 2008, and the phone rep I spoke who made arrangements for a balance transfer from another VISA Account I have at another bank for me on either April 3 or 4, 2008, said he would have copies of those 3732 statements mailed to me that day, at no charge to me.A  (I have received an envelope at my P. Box from B of A; I'll expect the contents are the account statements, but won't know for certain until they are forwarded to me.
A  Bank of America?A  I'm almost on their side for this particular incident; as I know that avoiding lawsuits and payouts is high on their priority list. Unless some staffer slipped up, yapped out my private account activity, and didn't take time to note it in my file.
Please do your employer a favor, and provide me with the written documentation that I have repeatedly requested.A  Thanks for your cooperation. Stockton: Please forward this email to someone up the ladder who can provide WRITTEN confirmation and information on who requested, and was provided, information on my Visa Card ending in 3732, activity in July or August of 2007. Rose, Good afternoon and thank you for contacting Bank of America in regards to account documentation. For B of A to be carrying its customers former credits and debits on their books for 16 plus months would be an accounting nightmare, in addition to being out of compliance with several Federal Banking Regulations. Please adjust all records statingA A  any balance due on my past and present Visa accounts to reflect the current credit balance only.A  Also, please update day ph.
A  But do note that when I asked him a specific question about them, he couldn't answer it.
A  And he didn't volunteer any details on the account maintenance that he appeared to have access to.A A  A A  This message is not flagged. A Can you please provide me with your 16 digit credit card number so I can review your account? Gordon: The minimum payment is 1% of your balance and any finance charges and applicable fees.
The system will not allow the rate to change until the cycle closes and a new cycle starts.



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