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This entry was posted in Humor, MiscellENVYous, MiscellENVYous, Videos and tagged caught, cheater, fail, girlfriend, liar, text by Nick. Much that I can't get substitute as you'text fails to girlfriend ll be able to see what you get is relationship teaching.
And do no contact text fails to girlfriend he'll simply permenantly with my ex would never work as a result of im nonetheless. The women in our lives are the most beautiful and mysterious of creatures on the planet and one thing that drives us guys crazy is how they can be so unpredictable and confusing.
I remember offering advice to a client whose ex-girlfriend had, “out of the blue”, declared that she wanted to break up with him.
And I am sure you would be completely justified to make such a claim because these kinds of break-ups do happen. He told me that even the night before, they had made love and talked about long range plans. They parted that morning on great terms, but when he got back to the apartment, she was partially packed and declared she “just had to go”. He never saw this event unfolding and had every reason to believe that their future together as a couple was as solid as it could possible be. I mean, yes, his ex-girlfriend’s behavior was odd and mysterious and completely beyond predictability as he explained.
One should not let four years go right out the window, without pressing for more details and insisting she sit down and explain what had happened and why she was taking such drastic measures. You see, I was confused by what he described as a long term girlfriend suddenly bolting out the door.
I asked him, “now hold it, you didn’t just let her walk out without pressing or insisting on an explanation”.
Sorrowfully, he replied, “well, she has always been an independent, sensitive minded woman and I was so stunned, I just stood there as she walked out”.
And this was certainly one of those occasions where the girlfriend presumably just upped and left the relationship with little explanation. Well, let’s try to peel back a few layers and maybe we will get lucky and make a bit of sense out of what is going on and how you might want to act to counter the chaos. And not all ex girlfriends are willing to cold drop their long term boyfriend on the spot without an explanation. Heck,  I know some guys that are pretty darn wild and wacky and completely unreliable and unpredictable. Now, for the women readers out there, please don’t crucify me and throw away all the points I am about to make!
I am going to say some things that some of our lovely lady folks might not be happy to hear. In fact, you might want to go fetch a drink, because you are going to need it in order to re-calibrate your thinking. Indeed, the more time you spend around women, particularly if you are strongly connected and bonded with a woman, the smarter you will become.
I also think that some of those ex-girlfriends out there are hard to figure out because they want us to think they are “mysterious”.
But men need to understand that sometimes these odd and confusing behaviors are manifestations of a woman who is using her “cunning skills” to outsmart or outfox you. I think part of the reason women are such good actresses is it is a learned skill, passed down from other successful women they have modeled themselves after. Another reason for their “actress behavior” comes from simple survival and coping skills they have acquired over the years.
So a tough question to ask is, “are women manipulative” when it comes to their relationships? But I would venture to say, women are much more competent at the practice and use of manipulation. Now just to muddy the waters even more, some of these same women are at times genuinely confused about what they may want. Their wider range of emotions may cause them to be perceived as unpredictable or mysterious. This is what makes understanding the “cause and effect” of things that happen within a relationship, a very confusing matter. Or is the confusion and uncertainty you experience, caused by the emotional turmoil that your ex gf is experiencing.
So while these guys are unable to see the reality outside the cave, the images on the cave wall gives them incomplete glimpses of the underlying reality. Imagine that outside the entrance of the cave, the ex-girlfriends of these guys are walking, talking, and behaving in a variety of ways.
The men of the cave can only see the shadow play on the walls as they try to deduce what is all means.
Now with this allegory in mind, do you ever feel like a caveman, unable to fully process why your ex-girlfriend behaves in the manner she does?
I think some of the confusion stems from men failing to understand the makeup of women, as compared to themselves or other men. Part of the reason you may not understand is because she expects that you should be able to make the connection about what it is “you” should be doing or saying.
Now, if you could read her mind and follow the flurry of thoughts she is having and how they connect with her behavior, then you would be a heck of a lot less confused. The confusion guys usually have about their ex-girlfriends also originates with men’s inability to understand women’s need for feeling safe and secure.
We often take our own security needs for granted and cannot fathom why our girlfriend may need special emotional support at times.


All of these things I ruminate about, though culled from experience, do not necessarily apply to all women or all men. So, please be careful in applying any blanket judgements on what might be the cause of why people behave the way they do.
Nevertheless, it is a fact that many men struggle with understanding the root cause of why women say or do things. Men struggle with why their girlfriends will invariably flip or flop on various issue of minor or major importance.
One reason for this is that men and women largely adopt different styles and solutions to situations. We tend to plow straight on down in search of the resource, pushing rocks and sediments to the side, as we close in on the prize.
Whereas if the oil rig was female, it would be a horizontal rig, capable of drilling vertically, then shifting on a horizontal axis exploring the reservoir using other drilling tactics.
Our confusion with fully understanding the opposite sex stems from the reality that men and women are designed for different purposes and operate in a different way. Do you ever feel like your romance or “the break up” is taken from the annuals of a great spy caper?
Now, I am not saying that men are obsessed with the desire to have sex every waking moment of their lives. This biological attraction men have for women in general, but particularly a woman’s form, is hard-wired into their brains. Whatever the current situation is with the two of you, be assured that she will play on this natural desire you have for her.
So when you are confused about her behavior and cannot make head or tales about what she did or why she did it, it can mean two things. So she will play the mystery woman in order to allow herself time to draw closer to what she may later think she wants. The moves made at the beginning of the game, sometimes are done to disguise what the plan is for later in the match. Your ex-girlfriend probably knows this, so she will make use of the “mystery woman card” to advance her pursuit of you. When she plays hard to get or gives you confusing and mysterious signals, she is often actively in pursuit of you.
There is treasure to be found when your ex-girlfriend is presenting herself in a mysterious fashion. She may still be very mad at you and is purposely playing coy and clever to keep you off track. But the way I see it,  this is still a component of attraction, whether she realizes it or not.
Just going to the trouble to toy with you, as a means of “punishment”, helps her work though some of these less attractive emotions. Her mysterious “evil” nature, when it is aimed at “you”, is actually a reflection that she is still attracted to you at some level. Just know that the mystery girl persona is a powerful “arrow in the quiver” for your ex-girlfriend. If she says or does something unpredictable, it could mean she is signaling her interest in you. It could mean she is unsure what she wants, so you will get a steady dose of conflicting signals.
She may still be recovering from the myriad of emotions associated with the break up and therefor she is acting out all kinds of thoughts and emotions. Generally, if your former girlfriend or current girlfriend is demonstrating unpredictable tendencies, it very possible she is calling upon what I call the “Feminine Mystique”. By being unpredictable with her behaviors or her conversation, she may be  consciously or subconsciously trying to arouse sexual tension.
Women like laying down seeds of uncertainty and unpredictability in order to sow a little bit of chaos.
If you cannot fully grasp exactly what she is thinking and if you are left guessing what she is up to, it ratchets up the sexual tension. When your ex-girlfriend clearly signals what she really wants from you, then the game is over.
But all of us are creatures filled with insecurities and vulnerabilities, so we  evoke “smoke and mirrors” at times during our interactions.
Your ex-girlfriend is likely an expert in exerting her influence, thereby keeping you at bay if it serves her or pulling you in when she feels so inclined. Your unpredictable girlfriend most likely understands you much better than you understand her.
Now, just because she may have a leg up on you when it comes to the little mind control games, does not mean she can’t miscalculate.
Sometimes, putting out too much chaos and conflicting signals can work against an individual. This is where things can spin out of control if your ex girlfriend’s emotions get the best of her. When that happens, even she loses control of what she really wants or is unable to contain her behavior, thereby losing her advantage. Using another metaphor, if a guy is boxer when it comes to dealing with his ex-girlfriend; then his Ex is an UFC fighter possessing multiple martial arts skills, including boxing, wrestling, muay thai, jiu jitsu and judo. And if you and your ex-girlfriend are slowly circling each other (so to speak) in the game of recovering from the break up, be assured that she will use every language in the book. When your girlfriend is feeling close to you, she demonstrates her affections through tender touches and soft and heartfelt expressions of love.


What was once this soft and purring love machine, has grown fangs and claws and there is no mistaking her rage. Depending on how far along you are after the break up, your former girlfriend’s language of anger may still be bubbling under the surface.
When your girlfriends speaks to you in the language of sadness, you will usually hear very little from her. Sadness and the silent treatment are cousins when we are seeking to understand the languages of women. She can use and parse her words very carefully in such a way that she can summon up images in your mind. A suggestive comment here or there, can set you off wondering if she has designs on someone else. Or she can ever so casually flirt with another guy to create this unspoken silent language, which in turn causes you to feel the pangs of jealousy. Your lovely girlfriend may also be an expert at enlisting co-conspirators to advance her agenda of jealousy. One of her friends can be recruited to utilize the “name drop technique”  or make a casual remark about somebody or something. It is that what she says, could mean two different things or possibly the opposite of what she states.
What we have going on here is a bit of a “passive aggressive” tactic coupled with “contrarian logic”. Essentially what is happening is your ex girlfriend is doing the opposite of what you would expect. For example, you make a suggestion and it is something she really does not want to do, but she says “yes”, but “inside”, she really means “no”. Now, since you are a guy and are not very conversant in this language we call “double speak”, you believe her when she says “yes”.
But later, she tells you what she really meant is “No” and declares you should have known that is what she really wanted.
Double Speak is when your ex girlfriend says she “hates you”, but she really is just very upset and annoyed with you and actually “loves you”. So as you can see, to successfully win back your ex girlfriend, you need to be conversant in a lot of languages, including  “Double Speak”! The sooner you realize that women speak many languages, the faster you will realize the errors of your ways! Now to be fair, I should point out that you really have to be female to fully grasp all of these languages. So don’t feel bad if you can’t quite figure out what is going on in your ex-girlfriend’s mind and why what she “says” is not always what she “means”.
Oh, by the way, do you remember that guy we were talking about at the beginning of this post? Well, it turned out that the reason she walked was not because she didn’t love him or was “finished with him”. What happened is that she had experienced a panic attack earlier, which was triggered by the discussion they had the night before.
Do your remember me telling you that my client and his girlfriend had made love the night before their break up and stayed up late talking about long term plans? My name is Chris, and I help millions of guys per year improve themselves, and get their ex girlfriends to come running back. Hi Chris, me and my girlfriend have been having troubles for the last few months and she finally broke it off yesterday. I did read some article that said “Woman wants to be heard, listened, and understood. I just hanging out with my friends and I saw her hanging out with some guys as well, maybe from her work. If you are at the beginning on want to slowly work things to where eventually you are talking every day but this needs to be gradual. Some people hurt by words and some by action…but the biggest hurt I believe is that someone ignoring you when you value them more than anything else.
Also where more like friends then we are a couple (intimacy or lack of sex I mean due to me working so hard I lost my sex drive has been an issue for years)Back story is we have been together 6years and we have a beautiful son aged 21months old who is my world.It has been a rocky road at some points but for the most part I know the women loved me a lot like I did for her, we are both very negative people up till now, very stubborn etc.
Because she hasn’t responded my first mail, I wonder when should I send the next one. My ex and I broke up last 2 months because she was still into her ex who was trying to get back with her (which he did last month) but we stayed very close friends after 2 weeks of no contact.
We dated for two years and before we started dating she had an extremely traumatic event happen in her life and throughout our relationship I’ve helped her with it but overall it has began to leave her just depressed and drained of all of her feelings. I just worked myself to the bare bone so I could get the house, nice car and my family have money… But along the way we lost intimacy and she is a very sexual being.
She still tells me she loves me we even still hugged and kissed last night when we broke it off. She is posting quotes on Facebook everyday and stuff like that, far as I’m aware is not seeing anyone else.
But isit fruitless, I would like an honest opinion because I’m sending myself crazy at the moment.



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Comments

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