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Very rarely do I meet expats in Thailand who don’t trash-talk Thai girls, or go about describing them as helpless puppies in need of their divine guidance. If you do speak Thai you will find that you are able to date Thai girls that are totally off-limits to non-Thai speaking foreigners.
When you find a good girl in Thailand, she’ll often come accompanied by a friend or family member on the first date. As with any country in the world, you will find plenty of partners willing to sleep on first dates. One of the Banker’s friends, Ae, is a stunning Thai-Chinese mix and highly conservative. If you’re looking for a girl online, there are warning signs you should be on the lookout for. If she is very slow to respond because she doesn’t log in often, you may have a winner. The most tactful way to approach a Thai girl, in my opinion, is by paying her a compliment and handing her a business card. It just amazes me that such a bad reputation is given to good girls in Thailand–and why? My biggest piece of advice is one repeated so often, yet always ignored: stay away from the bars.
But my advice is to learn as much Thai as you can, because most of the girls in Thailand do not speak good English–especially in places like Chiang Mai or the South.
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One thing I seem to have noticed is a very negative attitude generally towards girls who work in Thai bars andf the men who go with them.
If someone wants to find love anywhere, going to a prostitute isn’t a good start sure.
Seems generally right but at the same time doesn’t exactly match the women I know here, working in a normal Thai company. I guess these are the types of articles that get a lot of traffic, so I don’t blame your choice of content, Banker! Do you think your male readers are naive enough to think they could actually find a “good girl” in a THAI BAR? Fortunately, stories about Western women being taken for a ride in Bangkok are sparse, if not non-existent. How to Be a Bad Mother in 5 Easy StepsBy Dara on May 08, 2016On this Mother’s Day, I was reflecting on how simple it is to get caught up in the mental anguish of parenthood.
In this way, it’s similar to the belief being a nice guy will get automatically get you a nice girl. I don’t want to teach my daughter to buy into this behavior-reward system rife with disappointments and misconceptions.
I want to teach my daughter to be good regardless of the people around her, because that’s who she wants to be, who God wants her to be. Welcome to Truly Tafakari I'm the quirky Black girl next door, a word ninja, wife, and mama, writing on life, race, and pop culture. Recent CommentsDara on How to Be a Bad Mother in 5 Easy Stepssunni on How to Be a Bad Mother in 5 Easy StepsDara on Fear and Loathing in America: Apathetic Voting in a Trump vs. I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually. All girls want is a guy who’s taller than her so she can wrap her arms around his neck when they hug and kiss. Every girl wants a Bad Boy who is good only for her and every guy wants a good Girl who is bad only for him. A girl needs a hand to hold in every problem and that hand should be her boyfriend cos he could make her laugh when she’s sad or any thing like that. I love being a girl because I can wear my hair, long, short, boyish and anything else in between and get away with it. Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do?
Our bodies may have matured, but the way that we interact with the world has changed very little from when we were four years old. A good girl is going to tell her partner what she thinks he wants to hear, but in the process, she holds back a piece of her voice.
Good girls may accept a gift, but there is always a string of “you shouldn’t have,” or “that’s too much” or “you didn’t have to do this” that comes along with it. A good girl follows a tried-and-true structure that will elicit positive reinforcement from her partner and the people in her life.
A good girl is bred to want the same thing every day and desire only so much as is socially acceptable.
A good girl submits, relinquishing her power to perceived authorities in order to escape the clamoring cry of her orgasm. A good girl is still trapped in a tower, like a virginal princess waiting in vain for Prince Charming to save her.
About 5-10% of Thai girls will have a decent enough command of English to carry on a passable conversation.


I have a pretty decent command of Thai and am not in the least bit concerned about competition from other expats. The unanticipated arrival of the third wheel shocked me at first, but I’ve since grown accustomed to it. If your girl is willing to sleep with you on the first date, you may be one of many expats on her rolodex of lovers. Those who log in very frequently may be playing the field–especially if their join date goes back a year or more. It astounds me how many successful folk fall in love with bar girls, thinking they’re wife material.
You’ll find many of the ladies there to be on the younger side, and they often speak decent English. Once you have a decent command of the language, which requires only a few months of practice, you’ll be surprised at the opportunities which open up before you. John graduated with a degree in Economics and then went on to pursue an MBA at Boston College. However, comments like yours give the post even more depths, and I really appreciate your take on things and taking the time to share your view.
Having dated quite a few, and never finding a bad egg I can say what type of girl I would normally find, but in no way go exclusively looking for. I mean, I haven’t personally hired them lol but I have definitely seen many wandering along Walking Street in Pattaya.
I’ve been to Thailand 8 times, and from day one I got the strong impression that most Thai bars were where people went to pursue sex, not romance or relationships.
Your comment about expat males never going to bars to find good women makes too much sense, herein lies the problem. If you would like to guest post an alternate opinion on my blog, you are more than welcome to. You’ve made me reflect on the extent to which my own blog posts are likely more geared to a female audience, in fact, which is not necessarily my goal. Clinton Electionlasamaritana888 on Fear and Loathing in America: Apathetic Voting in a Trump vs. We are grown women living in the 21st century—free to choose what we want, whenever we want it.
In fact, we still live in a society that reinforces the notion of a high-class lady as being pre-pubescent thin, impossibly beautiful and, above all, very proper. But you will have to confront and let go of a lot of old ways of relating that kept you safe and comfortable in the past. And we also know that women dieting are most likely not having sex (at least, not the kind of sex that they want). She has to knock herself down a few notches in order to make it acceptable to receive, lest she feel her hunger (and subsequent shame) that comes with receiving.
A good woman surrenders control to her orgasm, and thus, holds her own amongst the truly powerful. Some years ago I also started writing about what makes the difference between a girl and a woman. I am grateful for my own ongoing process of outgrowing the good girl I never was and becoming the good woman I strive to be. A good girl is a good woman who respects and values herself and others regardless of who they are, what they've done or where they came from.
I’ve lived in Thailand for over 5 years now and have never had trouble running into good girls. But when I do find good girls in Thailand, there are distinct differences in cultural values which I’ve learned to take into account. If you move to Thailand and want to meet the remaining 95% of the girl population, which is a huge pool of very good girls, you will need to learn Thai.
If she comes accompanied by a sister or an aunt, you’ve more than likely hit a home run. If you see a girl with classy, conservative taste, she’s more than likely that way inside-out. If that is the case, she is probably being bombarded by messages (and is the type that constantly needs attention). He has lived in Thailand for five and a half years and currently lives in Bangkok, where he met and got engaged to a good girl in Thailand. I have been ripped off by many types of people in Thailand, but least of all by the bar and Agogo girls. Women of all ages, have an instinctive mental barrier against dating men they do not know through specific repetative social things that they do, or through friends.
University educated, maybe studied a masters in UK, US,, upper middle class, well versed in western culture but not obsessed by it, and they are generally off put by dating farang because of the inevitable sex pest reputation which goes with.
Tuk, there is no shame in being brown, black, white, whatever, but I get the feeling you have been brainwashed by your culture that white is superior, hence referring to dai individuals as white and going even further by distinguishing chinese people in comparison. I don’t feel expat men (westerners) in Asia are really so burdened, comparatively, with the challenge of finding local love.
I had to stop holding myself up against other people and believing I deserved better in life than them.


A good woman doesn’t escape her fear, but she leans into it because she knows her ultimate fulfillment comes from discovering the desire on the other side. And this doesn’t mean that a good woman is stuffing her face all the time and pigging out on Cheetos and bon-bons. Thus, she will (consciously or unconsciously) do things to her partner to punish him—and ultimately herself. While it may look messy from the outside, deep within her body, she knows it is the path for her.
In fact, she will often deny that she wants the very thing that will give her the deepest satisfaction.
A good woman turns the key to the door, descends the tower staircase and, like a Queen, enters the vast terrain of her own pleasure. She is a writer for elephantjournal and The Good Men Project, as well as a performer and public speaker specializing in desire, sexuality and Orgasmic Meditation. I’ve found that the higher up the family echelon this third person is, the better the girl, usually. If her shorts ride her crotch and her shirt isn’t far behind on the exposure scale, then you may have a party or bar girl on your hands.
Just like any other country, conservative girls wouldn’t reveal their personal information so readily.
I know a handful myself, successful international bankers and lawyers who took all the wrong turns in Bangkok. I don’t think there is anything wrong with appealing to just one gender, by the way.
When I have asked some nice guys I know who are happily married, with children, whether they believe they finished last, they can never tell me. I just had to believe I deserved good in life, period, not because I followed all the rules.
But a good woman slows down and knows herself well enough to choose what is nourishing and relish every bite…whether it’s the grilled fish and asparagus, or the double chocolate chip cake. A good woman acknowledges her anger in the moment and feels into it so she can know where she is out of integrity in her life. A good woman’s desire ebbs and flows like the tide: small and humble in one moment, wild and tempestuous in the next. She is also a former yoga teacher and recovering anorexic who has discovered that there is tremendous power inside of hunger. Thai girls are very shy and their command of English alone is enough to deter them from dating a foreigner.
It is true that foreigners can get away with more and are probably forgiven for some of their short-comings, such as dressing like crap. Most attractuive young women are very much concentrated in very specific things such as going to University.
I do admit that the above post came as a surprise, but I guess I hadn’t read enough of your previous posts to get a proper overall impression of your site (which is great so far, by the way, and I’m sorry my first comment to you comes across as more of a criticism than a compliment)!
For example, if her sister needs her for the day, yet you want to spend time with your good girl too, well, tough luck.
If she chooses to contact you, she will more than likely add you on Line and send you a cute sticker. If you are over 25 years of age, then you are not in her social groups, dont do the same things, dont know her friends etc. She adjusts her partner (and desires to receive the same kind of attention and honesty in return).
Sadly, my dating experiences in Asia are sparse… Speaking of Saudi, that is a topic that originally what brought me to your site. I know you don’t to hear it but if a dai individual traveled to a developed OR western country, they certainly would not be classified as white. I’m thinking of relocating there in a few years, and your posts on the country have been very inspiring. 2 means that ppoint number one is unattainable, and the woman may as well be living on another planet. Why isn’t anyone noticing me? When we add up our qualifications like a bill, we expect someone to pay us the reward for our obedience to social norms.
Because of the catch 22, men go to places where it is possible to interact with women in a manner that is going to work, i.e. Do they go there because they are nieve about the chances of starting a meaningfull relationship?
Furthermore, as someone who mlives in Thailand, i simply casnnot understand where all these people are finding Thais with poor English.



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