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When you walk through grief, you often do your best to put on a strong “front” to show others you are doing just fine, when in truth you are hurting terribly.
Another of the switchboard skills that transfers to walking through grief is testing the waters. There were a few times when I was substituting as the switchboard operator that I failed and plugged in to a busy line at times, causing terrible static and a momentary ear-splitting noise. Coming home after a long day, I read an email from my mother telling me that the father of a family I had known from church back in my hometown had just passed away.
In the past fifteen weeks, I have either experienced the death of a friend or family member or watched friends say good-bye to someone they loved eight times. As I cried my tears, I got busy doing my dishes and folding laundry,while listening to a new album by Josh Groban. Even if you have trouble naming a person you feel can understand and come alongside you in your journey, there is One who is always there for you.
I admit there have been a couple of times in the past few of years when I found myself at an incorrect address. I remembered that this family had recently painted their front door a beautiful, bright color. As you find yourself walking through grief, there will be times when denial rears its ugly head and you want your news of loss to be a mistake. More than anything, you wish you could change the past, have just one more day, and enjoy more time with your loved one. When events of life and death seem too harsh to be real, accepting them as truth can challenge your faith. A positive attitude, while difficult to muster in the midst of sorrow, can alter how you see your journey.
Four years ago when I began journaling about my grief journey, I would never have dreamed that it would lead to the writing, publishing, and selling of the book Grief Letters.
Just because grief is part of your story does not mean you are doomed to forever taste your tears or feel your sadness.
One of my greatest concerns in walking my own grief journey was that all the things that I was learning would be wasted because I could not voice the lessons out loud. As I continued to pour out my heart, my feelings, and the lessons I was learning, I began to see the value in those written words.
On the days that you have difficulty seeing something beautiful, know that even when you do not know it, others are catching a glimpse of beauty through your determination to journey well and your can-do attitude. I remember our family vacations spent at a resort at the Lake of the Ozarks when I was a kid. Wherever you make your special place of rest and ‘calm waters,’ adding the balm of scripture will enhance your healing. Yet, when the anniversaries come and go following your loss, they seem to get a bit easier to handle with each passing year. Another tip that you may find helpful is to plan ahead to treat yourself and do something pleasant on those anniversaries. Traveling from Denver to Topeka this week I had to smile each time I encountered trucks along the way.
However, the moment of victory with each truck was easily forfeited if I chose to pull off the road for gas or a short break. As I had to work again to catch up and fight for my position on the road, I realized that the grief journey is a lot like playing leapfrog. Knowing ahead of time that you will experience set backs and disappointments will help prepare you for those surprise encounters.
Picture yourself placing your hands on that roadblock and pushing off the ground with your legs planted firmly.
As you embrace the journey, your grief will seem less daunting and you will find yourself feeling more powerful as your confidence grows. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites. How much longer will the traditional landline telephone companies provide circuit-switched networks? The PSTN (Public Switched Telephone Network) and the POTS (Plain Old Telephone Service) are “relics of a bygone era”, argues AT&T. Meanwhile, the United States Congress is attempting to charge VoIP providers the same Universal Service Fee (USF) that it charges traditional telecommunications providers. Digitcom, established in 1991, sells and supports Avaya, NEC, Cisco, and Nortel voice & data solutions, including the Avaya Partner, IP Office, and Communications Manager (S8300 ), Cisco Unified Communications Manager, and Unified Communications Manager Express (and UC500), and Nortel Norstar, and BCM 200, BCM 400, and BCM 450.
I did a lot of data entry on computer and took payments at the window as people came to pay bills. Besides the rehearsed greeting we were to say, our attitude and tone of voice was important. Knowing when to be strong and knowing when to release your pent-up emotions makes your journey easier.
When we were connecting an incoming call to their requested party, we were to lightly touch the end of the plug to the correctly numbered slot to see if the person being called was on the phone. The song You’ll Never Walk Alone from the 1945 musical Carousel began playing and I stopped what I was doing to really drink in the words.
Knocking, waiting, and then realizing my mistake, I would grimace as I muttered, “Sorry, wrong door” to myself and quickly moved on. I ran home after church, grabbed my food and headed over to meet the others who had driven separately and had already arrived.
So when I drove down the street – the incorrect street mind you – and saw a beautiful blue door, I sighed with relief. Granted, I had been given the incorrect address but I did not learn this until after my humiliating experience. Life demands so much at times that it is easy to take for granted those who are near and dear. Believing that you will learn to live without your loved one can seem overwhelming and impossible.


Instead of listening to negative self talk, look for positive truths you can still believe. In reading that sentence again, note that I did not say the journey ended with Grief Letters.
They are uncomfortable with the idea of death and lack the knowledge of what to say and how to address those in the midst of a painful journey. With the encouragement of friends and especially my oldest son, Austin, I decided to bravely venture into the book-writing process, creating my book, Grief Letters.
Write, not just to pen a book, but to have the advantage and experience of organizing thoughts to better understand your own journey. The weather was warm, the scenery quiet, and the lake held calm waters where we enjoyed fishing, swimming, and water skiing. Just as the cool, calm waters provide refreshment and restores strength for this lovely animal, you too can find restoration for your heart and soul as you turn to God. What can be done to help you through a difficult day full of sometimes bittersweet and whirling emotions?
While I would not describe myself as being competitive, I do find satisfaction when I pass a truck and see it disappear in my rear-view mirror as I pull away – going the proper speed limit, of course. Even though it is necessary to stop and take care of business occasionally, I found it frustrating to realize that those same trucks gained on me during my interludes.
It seems that as we walk this difficult path, we jockey for position with pain, sadness, and progress. When the sun shines outside yet all you are able to see is a gloomy future, know that you just need to play a little leapfrog and spring into action.
Before you know it, you will find yourself propelled upward out of the depths toward your goal ahead. The journey you imagine and dream of will most likely not be the path you will be actually be called to travel. When I recently found a cross displaying this verse, I immediately knew it had to go on my cross wall at home. Look for something that will remind you of your uniqueness and that your purpose in life is still very real and has meaning.
So it has been awhile now and look where we are at today with wireless networks, blue tooth technology and no wires! Even though 90% of the American population has access to broadband Internet service, it is estimated that reaching the final 10% of the American will entail an investment of over US $350 billion. The USF is used to subsidize telephone service to rural communities, lower-income customers, and public libraries. I was also trained on their old-fashioned switchboard to relieve the regular phone operator for her daily breaks as well as her vacation times.
Having the freedom to be “real” with certain people is certainly helpful and something every grieving person needs.
The only way to tell if that line was already busy was to hear the static that occurred when we touched the slot.
Seeing and feeling that much fresh pain and sorrow again has a way of taking a toll on a person.
Until Jesus comes again, that way of departure is through the body taking one final breath and the soul crossing over into eternity. Perhaps you have family members, friends, a pastor or church family, neighbors, or a support group like Grief Share who can encourage you as you walk on. So there I stood, alternately ringing the doorbell and knocking loudly determined to get a response. The instructions we gather for life seldom prepare us for the devastation that can be felt when death makes its appearance.This process of denying is a normal stage of grief. Even if the words are never given voice, your heart and mind are shaped by the very thoughts that make up your self talk. While you may no longer have your loved one with you physically, your memories are things that cannot be taken from you.
Yet, intermingled in those hard days will be glimpses of memories that will make you smile. When you share your story, you allow others to see inside a walk that is unique and full of meaning. While its existence may seem mundane and ordinary, there is a journey of beauty just ahead! Walking it well takes work and persistence, even in the midst of adversity, pain, and sorrow. Each year we anticipated the rejuvenating restfulness that occurred with a week away together. While you do your best to provide your own respite, do not overlook adding the messages available to you in the Bible. Go one step beyond, search for, and find the calm waters that God wants to provide for your grief journey.
It is now possible to sift out the pleasant memories of our years together and enjoy the happy moments without quite as much influence from the more recent, sadder events of the past four years following his death. One helpful tip is to realize that often times, the dreading and anticipation of the day is usually the worse part. While they will certainly not be what they used to be, it is possible to turn sadness into joy. When you look behind, you can see the advancement you have made and your forward progress is steady. Just as I had to drive hard and keep focused to overtake the trucks on the highway, when you walk through grief, determination is necessary. Play a little leapfrog and find yourself once again moving along your grief journey with success and victory in sight.
There is still a plan for your life even though it may now look entirely different from what you expected. What a powerful, daily reminder that God has a plan and purpose for me and the only wise choice is to embrace the journey.


May you seek and find the ability to sincerely embrace the journey as you move forward in your grief.
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in the United States has requested public comment about migration to all-IP networks, and AT&T is arguing that traditional service providers are hampered by old technology and discouraged from investing in future broadband access.
However, as traditional PSTN services decline and VoIP services increase, the FCC is attempting to expand the definition of a telecommunications provider to VoIPs who usually call themselves “information providers”. While the switchboard skills were not difficult to learn, there were a few things that were important to remember in this position. Sometimes there is nothing we can do but to just walk on and keep doing life the best we know how.
Instead of saying, “Sorry, wrong door,” try voicing the words of this hope-filled scripture to find healing as you travel through your grief.
I want to propose that the real danger can be the actual message you convey in your own self talk. Reminding yourself of the precious treasures you still possess can help you change directions  from the road of despair to a path of hope and healing. Lack of sleep caused dark circles under my eyes and zapped the energy from my normally upbeat disposition. After the hard work of cocooning and waiting, transformation is realized, a butterfly appears, and something beautiful is achieved.
The time spent at Bull Shoals was healing and helpful in dealing with our lives throughout the rest of the year. Maybe you find your relaxing haven in a special coffee shop or as close as a quiet corner of your home.
When you find yourself reacting in this manner, choose the calm waters of His peace instead. May you find healing, peace, and hope as you choose to embrace the positives of life that are all around. Others you dread with fear and trepidation, wishing you could skip over them and avoid the pain and unpleasantness they are bound to present. Contemplating all the life that has been packed into these last thirty-one years, I have come to believe the day is not all bad. The pain you actually feel on the anniversary day is often times less than what you expect.
Anticipating the need for flexibility in life can help you when the unexpected makes its appearance.
Continue to find ways to move forward as you learn to accept the changes of your new and different path. Steve is right about the switchboard operator role going away (though social media strategists are likely to remain, with more evolved job descriptions) and the importance of personal branding.This matters to big business because you don’t buy a car from Ford, you buy it from Bob, the salesperson at your local dealership. For Verizon Communications, sales to businesses dropped significantly in 2009, and the company sees growth for 2010 only in wireless and VoIP services. Watching others experience loss will bring yours to light again, causing fresh pain to appear unexpectedly. Inability to concentrate and the absence of the desire to socialize inadvertently landed me in a place of isolation that was unhealthy, lonely, and at times frightening.
Because the tiny caterpillar was willing to keep doing life, it found fulfillment and discovered its purpose as it flies into the sky. While it will certainly hold sadness for me as I am denied the chance to celebrate it with my deceased husband, there are many precious memories surrounding the date that I will always cherish.
However, you find that as much as you dreaded the day’s arrival, waking that morning is not a painful as you thought it might be. Depression attacks with a vengeance and you struggle to even get out of bed and accomplish the simplest tasks.
Stay focused, think positive thoughts, and rely upon God’s strength in your life to hop over the seemingly large obstacles in your path. So as technology has transformed our lives do you find yourself still making lots of phone calls? Residential customers are canceling their landlines telephones at greater rate in 2009; and Verizon sees that trend continuing into 2010. The mystery was finally solved when I made a few phone calls and came to the conclusion that my information was flawed. Life will not always seem fair to you so do your best to be honest and positive as you have conversations which involve your mind and heart.
May your find healing and better understanding as you place your own words to the written page.
Pleasant memories mix with your sadness and you find you are able to smile and enjoy some of the memories that have always made that day special. You don’t bundle up all your insurance needs and buy a master policy from Allstate, you buy from Chris, the local Allstate agent.Technology has been harnessed to make it very efficient to buy things like books, music, movies, gadgets and hardware online, with no human interaction in the transaction. God will not bring you to something in life that He will not equip you to handle with His help. It next needs to be harnessed to increase the efficiency of online-to-offline transactions, where human engagement is required.It needs to contain the various elements of social media generally associated with personal branding into an interactive, brand-consistent, portable and finable online package. Be encouraged to keep trying and keep honing your own switchboard skills as you walk through grief. When a buyer is able to efficiently find, evaluate, and connect with Bob instead of Ford or Sally instead of Century 21, then corporate social media strategists can shift their focus to more interesting, strategic activities.
And big companies will be able to differentiate themselves and win business not through some vague corporate image but rather through the thousands of employee personal brands that truly make up their core value proposition.



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