When people are already experiencing pre-performance jitters, found Alison Wood Brooks, a professor and researcher at Harvard Business School, it’s much easier to shift into a state of excitement than calm. Some of the greatest artists, athletes, novelists and thinkers of our time have relied upon their own quirky pre-performance rituals to help them get in the zone—and produce their best work. This entry was posted in Success, Uncategorized and tagged Confident women on October 21, 2014 by Nikki Woods.
Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone, because they know this is a place where dreams die.
Highly confident people know that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. Highly confident people can make use of whatever resources they have, no matter how big or small. Highly confident people confront life’s issues at the root before the disease can spread any farther. Highly confident people don’t accept articles on the Internet as truth just because some author “said so”. It may be that the problem lies with your confidence—in your belief in your ability to bring about successful outcomes when you experience challenges.
It didn’t seem to matter how many times I succeeded, doubting myself was just one slip up away.
I had to pay close attention on a minute-by-minute basis to the choices I was making and my self-talk. Changing our attitude toward ourselves is the key to building confidence that is not dependent on external signs of success. Imagine that you could go through life trusting in your capability, in your ability to meet the challenges in a way that could bring about a successful outcome.
Instead of trying to control the world and avoid failure, you could take risks and stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone. Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, believes that changing from self-criticism to self-compassion is the key to resilience in the face of challenge. People who respond to themselves with compassion are far less likely to be depressed or anxious, and they have greater confidence in their ability to succeed. This may seem a bit silly at first, depending on how deeply entrenched your critical and judgemental response is. Sometimes when you are stuck in a judgemental pattern, it can be very hard to make changes in the moment.
About Alison BreenAlison Breen is a psychologist, consultant and coach who helps people live more conscious, happy and healthy lives. I’m so so thankful for the idea of this blog and all who share their experiences and advise. DisclaimerThis site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Join other people who receive exclusive weekly content and tips on how to build confidence, and get a FREE COPY of my eBook, 12 Mistakes That Are Destroying Your Confidence! Enter your name and email below to get INSTANT ACCESS to my free guide, 12 MISTAKES THAT ARE DESTROYING YOUR CONFIDENCE! About UsAchieving Success Through Personal Growth – Get Tools, Tips and Strategies to Build Your Confidence And Live Your Dreams! Brooks did a study with participants in several high-stress scenarios: karaoke singing, public speaking and math performance.
Serena Williams has said she’ll wear the same exact pair of socks when competing in tournaments.

We all know that flush of discomfort strikes most women (social norms, unconscious bias, etc.). They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be. They actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because they know stretching themselves is mandatory for their success. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear of change.
While they do care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, they don’t get caught up in negative opinions that they can’t do anything about. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They know that problems left unaddressed have a way of multiplying as the days, weeks and months go by. They make use of any and all weapons that are at their disposal, relentlessly testing the effectiveness of every approach, until they identify the strategies that offer the most results for the least cost in time and effort.
THEY DON’T BLINDLY ACCEPT WHAT THEY READ ON THE INTERNET AS “TRUTH” WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. We can feel good and confident when things are going well, but we struggle to keep motivated when things are hard. We overwork, over-prepare, needing to keep ahead of the possibility of failure that we imagine is just around the corner.
When we experience success, we don’t fully allow ourselves to experience the joy of accomplishment. An unshakable confidence that allows us to be resilient in the face of adversity and to trust ourselves enough to keep taking the next step, even when circumstances look dismal.
When you made mistakes (which you inevitably will as part of the growth and learning process) you would pick yourself up quickly, acknowledge yourself for your effort, and make any changes that we needed, based on your new learning. What I found worked in these times was to have someone else hold that voice for me, so I would spend time with someone who embodied kindness, compassion, and self-acceptance. She is also the founder of Becoming Superfluid, a resource to help people overcome the barriers that hold them back. Sometimes we get so busy that we neglect ourselves, but when you treat yourself well you’re in a better position to treat others well too. The difference being due to self-harshness and low confidence I tend to believe that I am not good at the particular task and I give up or blame myself rather than starting it again. I think something else that helped me was to only read and watch stuff that educated me, enlightened me or fed my spirit. So often the things we feed ourselves only heighten those critical, fearful and judgmental thoughts.
The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
We put this graphic together so people can gain a better idea of what confidence is and how confident people act. He helped bring out the person I’ve always wanted to be, but never knew I could be." -Jeff W. Beyonce has an hours-long pre-stage ritual that involves prayer, stretching and listening to her favorite music. To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.

They know that their true friends will accept them as they are, and they don’t concern themselves with the rest. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility. While they can’t control every event in their life, they focus on their power to react in a positive way that moves them forward. They would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with their partner today than sweep an inconvenient truth under the rug, putting trust at risk. They maintain a healthy skepticism, making use of any material that is relevant to their lives, and forgetting about the rest.
Recovering from the health difficulties that come with burnout required that I change the way I was relating to myself and challenge the basic assumptions that I was making about what I was capable of.
We deserve to be our “best self” to ourselves as much as others deserve it from us!
Sometimes it is easier to be critical with ourselves than it is to be compassionate with ourselves. I sometimes can’t believe that such a simple (but incredibly difficult to implement) attitude change can make such a big difference. It makes such a difference to have people on the same path so you can support each other, expecially with noticing those undermining voices when they show themselves.
As I am trying to take my career to the next level, I am also confronting challenges on the way and I feel that Im pushing myself too much that I feel exhausted and burnt.
Brooks said that when her subjects were told to get excited, they actually felt more excited, more confident and were able to more naturally shift their focus on the positive opportunities in the upcoming task (unleashing their inner Celine Dion) versus the potential threats (completely bombing in front of all of their friends).
And motivational speaker Tony Robbins says 10 minutes of high-energy movement and repetition of incantations helps him take the stage with the confidence he’s known for. In one the study’s examples, 47 percent of people lent a stranger in a busy train station their cell phone if the request began with an apology about the crummy rain.
While articles like this are a fun and interesting thought-exercise, highly confident people know that they are the only person with the power to decide what “confidence” means. Smith, professor of psychology at Montana State University, asked a group of female college students to write scholarship application essays—the mother of all boasting. After reading this article, i finally understand that my confidence is dependent on how things go. Half the group was told they might feel some physical discomfort because of a (bogus) subliminal noise-generating box in the room.
The result: The students who were warned about the box wrote stronger essays, that awarded up to $1,000 more in scholarship money, than the other students. They also enjoyed the experience of writing about their achievements more than their counterparts. Smith said that when women give themselves a way out of the discomfort of self-promoting—they not only do it more effectively—they dramatically improve their confidence and performance. The long-term solution, Smith says, is to get employers to create a more balanced environment: one that normalizes self-promotion for women. You’ll be able to blame your racing heart and jangled nerves on those activities and perform at the top of your talent.

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