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Whenever you feel as though you’re just stuck and you are making very little if any forward movement in life you should come back to this self-confidence checklist to see where you may have gone off track. In the struggle to succeed at any difficult challenge, there is probably no psychological problem more common than a lack of self-confidence.
Out of the seven major conditions for success spelled out for you on the previous page I suspect there is not one more commonly violated then this one. Self-confidence plays a critical role in one’s journey toward success and if you are weak in this one department it can and will hold you back from achieving your greatest dreams, desires or goals. As you examine your life and the lives of those around you I tend to believe that you will agree with me. To get a better handle on this problem let us take a look at some of the deep foundations of confidence in human life. Whenever we have confidence in a person we believe that he will get the job done or that she will succeed. When we believe in ourselves we believe that we have what it takes and that we will succeed in accomplishing the task at hand.
Anytime I have a belief that I will accomplish something, that belief is rooted in other more basic beliefs about what can be called my personal ability and my moral capability. Whenever I believe of anything that I will do I must also believe the following: One I have the power to do it, two I have the skill, three I have the opportunity and four I have the practical knowledge. I also have to believe that I am morally capable of it and I am ethically open to the task. Here we have an almost complete analysis of the background beliefs for any instance of self-confidence. Self-Confidence – You Do Not Only Believe You Can Do Something You Know You Can Do It!
Power operates on many levels, there is for example physical strength, political power, organizational power deriving from institutional status and less formally instituted forms of interpersonal power. It is possible to be powerful without being skillful, we see it all the time in government and sometimes even in business life. Although skill requires some degree of personal power for its cultivation it is possible to have a skill level far exceeding your organizational power to act, so power and skill are different things. Does your schedule, with all of its other commitments allow for the task to be undertaken well and accomplished? Can you position yourself in such a way as to plug into the assistance needed to complete a project? Practical knowledge is a form of understanding, when we ask whether a person has the practical knowledge necessary for undertaking a particular assignment we want to know whether he or she knows how to use the power and skill they possess in the opportunities available for accomplishing the task at hand.
Practical knowledge ties all these other conditions together and makes them all realistically available for effective action. What is at stake here is a small group of what might be called, broadly speaking, moral attributes. A person may be incapable of performing an action even if he has the power, skill, opportunity and practical knowledge required for it, as long as that action is contrary to his formed moral character. A serious intention to act in this sort of way could not arise or at least could not be maintained among his habitual tendencies.
Some plants can’t grow in some soil and in the same way some people just cannot do some things and that is a very positive fact about the world. When we are wondering if some individual will be able to do some particular deed, one relevant consideration is whether he is morally open to it.
If this condition is not fulfilled we should not be confident that he will do it, rather we should have the opposite confidence, he will not do it! By this I mean that the individual just cannot muster the will or determination needed to see the task through to completion.
This seems to be a separate matter impinging on whether a person both can and will manage to do something. We always have to be on guard for this little bit of misdirection in our own minds or in the reaction of those around us. Whether we want to access our confidence in another person or confidence in our self or our own confidence in our self these are the touch stones we need to ask about. Does the person assigned to do a job have the personal ability and the moral capability and does she believe she has? One of the most important things about the self-confidence checklist is that we can use it to diagnose any problem of confidence. Whenever we have a high level of confidence that a particular outcome we are shooting for will happen, we must already believe three things.
These three belief’s are just positive responses to the three simple questions; Can it happen?
We do not work confidently toward what we believe is impossible, this is widely understood. What is not so commonly realized is that we also don’t act very confidently to bring about something we strongly believe would be wrong or even less preferable than some other alternative. A strong self-confidence in what we are doing requires a conviction that our goal is attainable that it’s permissible and that it is a preferred result, from a prudential point of view. Now this maps out some interesting territory that seems to be not well enough understood by executives and managers in the business world, at least it is not widely acted on at all. If we give people who work with us new goals and want them to work confidently toward the achievement of those goals we need to engage in a multiple level confidence building exercise. We need to do everything that we can to convince them that the goal is possible that it is permissible and that it is preferable. We need to build their self-confidence into believing that they have the power, skill, opportunity and practical knowledge it will take to make the target. What are the values behind the target that they can share and believe in and let them know why this particular strategy or goal was chosen rather than some alternative. Simply involving co-workers or associates in the process of arriving at new goals and targets and not just delivering them ready-made and unalterable, we make it easier for everyone to buy into those goals.
When their values have been consulted along with their sense of what they can accomplish you will not face a hard sell from ground zero. Building The Self-Confidence Of Others Is All The While Building Your Very Own Self-Confidence. People are creatures of habit and any new challenge will be a stretch and any such stretch produces the conditions under which doubts can arise and grow. But if we excite our colleagues imagination in the right way we can stretch their conceptions of what they can do.
We can help them satisfy the second condition for success, a strong self-confidence, thereby raising the objective probability or their attaining success in the new venture. The power of belief is great and needs to be tapped more deliberately as well as more regularly in our efforts together, but first of course, we need to deal with our own personal problems with self-confidence. Number one-Think of one instance where you or someone around you have seemed to lack a measure of self-confidence that would have been good to have. Can you use the self-confidence checklist to identify what the source of the problem might have been? If you ever begin to doubt yourself or your abilities you can always come back and refer to this self-confidence checklist.
Never Allow The Daily Trials We All Face From Time To Time To Derail You From Your Self-Confidence Checklist. How to Build Self Confidence Articles about gaining self-confidence and improving self-esteem. Hey this is an awesome article, it’s easy to read and they are some great tips you offer.
One of The Greatest Personal Success Books Ever Written Subscribe Today And Download It For FREE INSTANTLY! Not Only Will You Be Getting One of The Greatest Personal Success Books Ever Written, If You Sign-Up Today You Also Get My 7 Part Video Series "The Secret Behind The Law Of Attraction" Absolutely Free! When a person is lacking in self confidence it can affect every area of their life, including their work life and their relationships. To boost your self-confidence make a list of the things that you are grateful for and appreciate about yourself. Have you ever noticed that when you criticize others it is usually because you are not feeling all that great about yourself?
Volunteer your time to mentor someone else, or find a local charity in an area that you are interested in and volunteer your time there. The fear of being laughed at or criticized stops many of us from sharing our ideas and speaking up, but the more you push past that fear and begin participating in conversations with a strong voice, the more confident you will appear.
If you attend a seminar or a large meeting try to get a seat at the front of the room, instead of hiding in the middle, or worse yet, the back of the room.
How many times have you read a note or a letter from someone about something and the tone of their note, which has nothing to do with the topic of the note, makes them sound unhappy or grumpy, which in turn makes you feel depressed?
Looking people in the eye and smiling are two things that will also draw people to you and will help add to your confidence level. I just imagine my doubts as one entity, breathe a deep breath, and then let it out slowly and let the entity melt away. Positive energy brings about positive outcomes, so set your brains to the can-do side of any event or situation and at the same time try to avoid the negative self-talk that makes you feel less confident.

Keep a gratitude journal with you to remind yourself of all the high points of your day and your achievements. Your body language can demonstrate your self-confidence and self-assuredness, or it can scream insecurity and diffidence.
You need to present yourself in a manner that says you are ready to take charge of any situation. If you appear confident and act the part you aim to reach, not only will you feel in control, others will also have much more confidence in you.
Sit up straight, hold your head high, bring your shoulders back and align your spine, look directly at the other person while interacting. Limp handshakes are a complete no-no and maintaining good eye contact while speaking to someone is a big yes-yes. The next time you hear your favorite speaker, be attentive of the way they deliver their speeches. Instead of the “ahs” and “ums” that disrupt flow, they make use of pauses to give emphasis to ideas. Start using an assertive, yet non-aggressive, way of speaking that reveals your self-confidence. And if you really want to be taken seriously, avoid sharp, high-pitched anxious chatter or giggles while speaking.
People will start listen to you more conscientiously once they see the leader exuding from within you. The more prepared you stay, the more confident you feel about your competency and expertise. Gain knowledge of everything you can about your subject matter, your trade, what drives you towards success and your goals. Put more of your energy into your positive qualities and you’ll see your confidence will start to shine through.
The relevance and importance of self acceptance in successful self esteem and confidence building is quite adequately encapsulated in the old saying “A house built on sand shall not stand”, meaning in this case that you’re far more likely to succeed in building a positive and lasting self belief and self image only after you’ve undergone a rigorously honest self appraisal of who and where you really are in life at the present time. This is not to suggest that you should try to force yourself to “like” the things about yourself that you don’t like, but is more about understanding and appreciating that things about yourself that you see as being negative only maintain their power to damage your confidence only so long as you try to mentally fight them or run away from them, in other words refuse to accept them as part of yourself. An exercise which is widely regarded as being effective in helping to bring about self acceptance and which is particularly useful for those whose self esteem and confidence has been negatively impacted by some aspect of their physical appearance involves the use of a full length mirror.
If you have one or can get hold of one, make some private time and stand before it completely naked, unadorned and without the use of any soft or complimentary lighting, makeup or anything else.
As you cast your gaze over your face and body, make a mental note of the feelings and thoughts that flow through your mind.
It could be something to do with being over or under weight, or signs of getting older or physical damage of some sort or any one of numerous “defects” that you see. However, start this exercise by remembering that the purpose of it is not to somehow force yourself to like everything about yourself, but to bring yourself to accept yourself completely for who and what you are, both what you like and don’t like. Take a deep breath and make the effort to focus your gaze on whichever aspect of yourself it is that is causing you particular problems. When you’ve begun to focus on whatever it is that’s hard for you to confront, make a deliberate, conscious effort to overcome the urge to look away. You’ll also find yourself feeling much more motivated and confident about making actual positive change to the areas of your body or appearance that you’re not happy with. Following through with this exercise for a week or two often brings highly positive results.
Even if a problem with negative self image has little or no actual connection with anything to do with physical appearance, this exercise will still help towards self acceptance in a general way.
We have to learn to speak to ourselves in a respectful way – the same way we would speak to a friend or colleague. I have been opening myself up to more and more self-acceptance by acknowledging the shame I have about myself. Using EFT to neutralize shame about my porn addiction has been a daily spiritual thing for me.
Everyone should take the time to learn how to build self confidence, something that will benefit you immensely. Taking the time to get to know who yourself inside out, is step one in learning how to build self confidence.
The second step to learn how to build self confidence is being able to control your thoughts and inner dialogue. As you move forward in the process learning how to build self confidence, getting to know who you are and developing self control you’ll likely begin to search for ways to use your growing self confidence to help others.
The more time you take to practice these simple steps, the more you will grow into the best person you can be – the person who was always there, but was just restricted by a lack of knowledge of how to build self confidence. An ability to use the power you have in an effective way, it is typically the result of relevant experience. Sometimes a person is morally open to a task and even possesses every ability relevant to the task but just does not have the heart for it. How would you explain to someone else why you would think it is; one, possible, two, morally permissible and three, preferable to the most obvious alternative that might be identified? As you work towards building your Self-Confidence Checklist you should take every opportunity to explore new resources. If you work in an office that requires formal business attire, make sure you are wearing a professional looking business suit or a dress with clean dress shoes. Pay attention to your surroundings, and to the people you are with, not to your cell phone. When you spend time helping others and making them smile, you will smile more, which in turn, will help you feel better about yourself too. People who sit up front get noticed and appear more confident than people hiding out in the back.
By making an honest effort to practice the above points on a daily basis, you will find that your confidence level will increase and you will feel better about yourself and those around you. I think we always have the choice to be positive when we interact with others, and too often we pass up the opportunity to be positive and just opt for neutral (or negative) when it really pays to just be nicer. I think you can tell a lot about someone and their self-confidence by those two things, especially the posture.
Nothing else makes me feel as confident and like I'm doing something to take care of myself. Self-confidence is not a stagnant quality; rather, it’s a “way of thinking” that takes efforts to retain when the going gets rough.
If you choose the right accessories and clothing for your industry and lifestyle, it’ll unquestionably make you feel good and this in turn will automatically increase your self-esteem.
A colorful tie or bold jewelry can be a center of attention and a good conversation starter. Great speakers have a profusion of self-confidence and so they speak in an assertive, steady and rhythmic tone. If you’re like almost anyone else, you’ll find that some parts or aspects of yourself are harder to look at than others.
Whatever it is that you’re seeing and don’t like, being in touch with the emotions that these things bring out is difficult, and the first urge is to look away, to deny, to refuse to accept. If you’re unable to do it this time, tell yourself that you’re coming right back again tomorrow to confront it, and do just that. Maintain your focus on it and, while actually looking in the mirror, verbally say these words: “I completely and absolutely accept myself whatever my imperfections may be”. It will be difficult at first, but soon you’ll find yourself becoming more relaxed and comfortable in your own skin, and will be much less concerned about what others may say or think about you or your appearance.
For example, a full, complete and conscious acceptance of being overweight makes it much easier to actually lose weight than it would be if you remained in some kind of denial about it. It will be difficult, even painful at first, but as it starts to get easier, as your conscious focusing on your “demon” combined with the simultaneous repetition of the affirmation begins to filter through to the subconscious, you will begin to realise that through self acceptance you’re beating and overcoming the problem or problems which have been holding you back and damaging your self esteem and confidence. I wasn’t quite sure how far to go with it in the post though because not all negative self belief relates to appearance.
How often have i fallen a victim of this circumstance, lack of self acceptance and hating my appearance.
Instead of covering up my shame and anger at myself with positive thinking, I’m feeling it in my body and clearing the negative emotion of shame with EFT(Emotional Freedom Technique). Just imagine how easy it will be to make the most of your natural talents once you possess self-confidence.
Generally, a lack of self confidence is the result of taking peoples’ opinions to heart and letting your situation determine your self-worth. For this, self control is essential, which is only developed through conscious training – similar to how fitness is developed by training in a gym. The desire to contribute to others fulfils a spiritual need that everyone has for a sense of purpose and increases your appreciation of your own value. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable medical disorder which challenges me everyday of my life. Confidence includes self-esteem and dignity and the belief that we are able to carry out and meet any challenge or dilemma in our life. As well, always express your appreciation to those around you, such as co-workers, family, friends, clients, and so on. Pay attention to your tone, and do your best to always sound upbeat and happy, unless of course you are writing about a very sad event.

Do the mirror exercise again next day and again make the effort to focus right on to the most problematic aspect or area. Maintain your focus and while doing so repeat the statement clearly and deliberately about 10 times, and say it with meaning and conviction. Not in an arrogant way, but in the way that’s derived from being in harmony with yourself, with self acceptance itself. And with regard to things that can’t be changed, you’ll find that acceptance of them removes their power to make you feel in any way inferior or in some way “damaged goods”. Self acceptance gives you the quiet but remarkable strength that comes only to people who are in harmony with themselves, and healthy self esteem naturally and inevitably comes with it.
I always encourage people to be very careful about the kind of language they use when they speak internally to themselves.
I can feel the anger in my lower back, as any pain in the lower back is always a symptom of anger. Everything in life becomes so much easier, including furthering your career, achieving your goals and your personal life. You need to develop a technique that allows you to drown out such distractions and start focusing on what is going on inside yourself. Many people never develop self control as they see it as being a limitation on their freedom. Consider this: many insecure people have a habit of withdrawing from others, something which can be called self rejection.
Listed below are some simple tips, to protect you from the negativity that serves to hinder and lower our confidence and self esteem. Negative Work EnvironmentBeware of “dog-eat-dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. Thompson - The Human Machine  No Scientific Basis for Prohibiting Same-Sex Marriage  What are relationships all about? Discover How to Build Self-Confidence and Realize Your Goals…Not Living Your Best Life? Having my toenails painted always give me a boost - I just feel better having pretty toenails.
I find sitting at the front, walking faster, and dressing for success definitely make me feel more confident.
It absolutely not OK to berate ourselves and put ourselves down – this self-treatment wears our self-esteem down.
It could be followed by looking inside and doing the same thing with parts of our personalities that we aren’t happy or comfortable with. Building self confidence is a great way to bring out your skills and talents and ensure that you get the most use out of them. One effective way to do this is to write down what you are thinking and then decide what is truly important to you.
Making a contribution to others, and in the process finding a purpose, allows you to think outside of just yourself, your insecurities and hardships. I try to use my story to inspire and help others to live up to their full potential in life.
Self-confidence and self-esteem, which together have resulted in the conviction that we live the life we deserve and if we do not live it, is in our hands to pursue it. This was where I was able to shed much of my social anxiety, and gain respect from other people.
The point is always acceptance from which can come understanding and the impetus to change. Because it is so important, I have put together a simple guide on how to build self confidence, just by being you.  It’s similar to what the Greeks created thousands of years ago and is still applicable today. As you do this you will start to realize that building self confidence is more a question of self-discovery than one of changing who you are. The more control you exercise over your thoughts and actions, the more you can draw on them to help you achieve the things you want.
Penny [6 ways to build your self esteem and maintain your self-confidence], All Right Reserved. These eternal questions have been asked over and over again by people living in different cultures, circumstances and the search brought some common answers.Here is a great article written by coach and author Zorka Hereford that gives some solid answers.
Some people also find it helpful to do some research on how the body and mind works, the science behind it and all the complexities involved. Confidence is one of the key skills required to build sustainable success and live a happy, healthy life. The more confidence we have, the easier is to achieve our objectives.The confidence and high self-esteem is really valuable for those who have managed to acquire it.
You will also find that this will make it easier for you to complete the second step in building self confidence. NetWhen I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the most profound, yet simple advice that changed the way I would view myself forever. These people feel good and they show it, they are effective and productive and react against themselves and to others with healthy, positive and evolutionary ways. They do not have insecurities and they operate knowing that they are capable of being loved and respected. They do not try to improve their self-esteem by reducing other people around them or humiliating them.Origin of Confidence and Self EsteemThe origin and the environment in which we grew up also affects the way in which our confidence and self esteem is created. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves.
Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it and adapt to it. Past ExperienceIt’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. In that case, think about how many times you may have met a gorgeous man or woman and then afterwards forgot how good looking they were because they had nothing interesting to say or could add nothing of value to your perspective. The confidence of our childhood is built on four factors: the positive things that happened to us, personal choices, bad things that happen to us and fatal events we had to experience. Physical attractiveness didn’t even make the top 10!The bottom line is that what you think of, and how you project yourself, is more important than merely having good looks.
Building self-confidence is not only a great way to attract others, but a great way to feel good about yourself!Tips For Building Self-ConfidenceAcknowledge Your Uniqueness. Not rely on others, rely on you while you have the opportunity to help all those around you who need it and cannot. If we each focus on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons, envy or regret. Believe in yourself and make sure that your inner voice talks to you to help you and not to undermine you.Useful Tips on Building Confidence and Self EsteemTo feel good about our lives and the way it evolves we need to change two basic things: how we see ourselves and our personal responsibility over our lives! If we face ourselves with denial and if we have too high expectations then more likely we will believe that we are unsuccessful, unhappy, ineffective, unfortunate, etc.If we do not take responsibility for our actions and if we do not fight to meet our goals, then we are bound to believe that we have no control over our lives and our achievements. So we are doomed – doomed to live a life, which we do not appreciate, we do not respect, do not feel proud about it, and of course … we do not want!How can we take responsibility for our lives?
Starting from this moment you can follow these techniques that although seem simple can have tremendous impact on our psychology and the evolution of our lives:Find the cause of the problem!If something goes wrong in your life then ask yourself who is to blame, what you are doing wrong, what you can change, how can you learn more? The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss and emptiness and overcame them. Question your behaviour, the methods you have learned to use, the way you think and operate, even question your values.Review your behaviour when you feel is appropriate and do not sit back and hide behind the security of the current situation. There are thousands of people who feel so much security in the current situation who do not dare to look the «unknown» happiness!
You need courage to accept the imperfections and win the life that you would like!Do not give up and do not give up your life!Even if this time your life is not what you want, do not be discouraged.
There are always alternatives and other routes that can lead you right where you want to be.
Rather than grumble about your weaknesses you need to reconcile with them, face them and you have just won the first battle against them!Do not ever stop to learn!You never know enough. The only thing certain is that if you spend all your life reading you will still have little awareness in front of the infinite knowledge that exists around us.
So, you should not be dogmatic, do not reject other ideas and do not always think you are right. There is no better way to destroy your life!Do not expect anything, but always expect the best!If you are constantly thinking of the future and you always wait for something to happen you lose the moment, which you may already have all these things that you are waiting for … and simply you do not see them! If you wait for the better … you will get the best!Care and protect what you love!The people you love, your pets, your flowers, your friends and what makes you feel beautiful in life is precious.
A life full of love is of great value…Overcome your past!A wonderful saying states: «The pass was yesterday, forget it! You can also contact Alex for any comments or suggestions about the web site.4 CommentsClick here to post a comment Cancel replyYour email address will not be published.
Living in the present, which is all there really is anyway, is a powerful way to live as well. I would also add that many people do not understand that they have a low self confidence and self esteem. But reading your article is giving me food for thought , I cant let myself slip back any further I have to start to fight back and get back on track.
Reading your article has given me a bit of a jolt its time to get moving I have done it once before I can do it again.

Self esteem improvement exercises
Meditate to attract


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