An important decision to make post-divorce is whether to keep your name of regain your maiden name.
Some women wish to retain their ex-spouses name for the sake of their children, which is understandable given the confusion it might bring about at school with teachers and other students. If you are in a profession that relies heavily on your reputation it might be a good idea to keep your name if you want people to recognize your name. Many women will get divorced and retain their married name simply because they have become comfortable using it for many years. This entry was posted in Divorce Tips and tagged divorce, legal name change, maiden name, name change, reasons to change name, spouse name on June 6, 2013 by Daily Legal Reader. While that may be understandable, maybe even exciting, for you, what do you do about your kids? Plan, plan, plan: Inform everyone of the name change -- schools, sports organizations, associations, doctors, health care providers, postal service, insurance companies, family members and even business associates if applicable. Talk to extended family and friends: Involving your loved ones helps with support and minimize the surprises.
Be ready for opinionated staff: Even though the world may seem like a changed place, traditional values are still deeply entrenched. Follow up: A few weeks after you make the name change, call or visit the various offices to make sure that the names have been changed and changed correctly. Speak up immediately: If someone addresses you incorrectly, don’t let it pass, Utt-Grubb says.
After divorce, should you ditch your ex's last name in favor of your maiden name or keep your married name, perhaps for the kids' sake?
It's a tricky situation for many and on Wednesday, HuffPost Divorce blogger Jackie Pilossoph gave her thoughts on the issue and explained why it was important for her to make the switch back. Over on Facebook and Twitter, our readers responded to Pilossoph's blog with their thoughts on the name-change conundrum.
There’s been a lot of talk on this site lately about married women who, after divorcing their spouse, deciding to keep their last names. Or what about if he does have a problem with changing the baby’s name, would you consider something equally embracing as hyphenating said child’s last name? Now what about the women who have children with their boyfriends and give their children the boyfriends’ last names? On top of that, I also believe that people should be careful with the information that they give about each parent to the child. My thought process about this evolved even more when talking to someone who used to be married, but was in an abusive marriage and had a child.
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. I definitely understand the stigma (perceived or real) of having a child with a different last name than yours– I went through the same thing myself when I got became pregnant before my (soon to be) ex-husband and I married. No slaying necessary, you are truly entitled to your opinion, and I really enjoyed the idea you discussed in your first paragraph. But to make sure things are straight, this baby maker is out of commission, and will will probably continue to be. When my daughter was born her father and I weren’t even on speaking terms and not once did I ever consider not giving her his last name. My father left my mother with 3 young children and one on the way when I was only 4 years old. Since it is common for women who have children with married men or just out-of-wedlock with men passing through their lives, to give their surname to their children instead of the father’s, how would doing this prevent someone from saying anything about the child’s family situation?
Hyphenating a child’s name is likely to raise questions, not quell them, especially if the child is male. I had the idea of including the question of whether to change the child’s name if you get married, remarried, or is adopted by the stepfather, but that seemed to open up a larger can of worms. Many women are now finding that the two traditional options just don't fit their circumstances and decide to make up a new last name, taking neither their ex-husband's name or their maiden name.
No matter how the new last names are derived, they are generally completely unique and different from both the married and maiden names. Most states allow you to request the divorce court handling your divorce to make a formal order to restore or change your name. Speak to a local divorce attorney about how you can obtain certified copies of the name change order from the divorce court. You may petition the divorce court to modify the divorce decree to change your last name if the original divorce decree doesn't include it.
If you are deciding to a completely new name, there may be some legal issues you will have to handle. The cost of a name change varies depending on the location of the court, but the fees are not generally exorbitant.
In addition to the costs and possible complications involved with a legal name change, it also takes a little time. The Christian Science Monitor also notes that some men also petition the court for legal name changes after divorce.
A local divorce lawyer can further explain the legal issues and costs with a name change after divorce. Disclaimer: The information provided on this site is not legal advice, does not constitute a lawyer referral service, and no attorney-client or confidential relationship is or should be formed by use of the site.
SAN DIEGO – August 28, 2012 – After getting divorced, many women face a reminder every day of their ex-husband: their last name.
However, if you want to change to an entirely new name, you will need to file a petition for a change of name as it’s called in California, or a similar document in your state.  Check your state’s rules regarding name changes.

Ask various institutions you deal with what type of documentation they require to make your name change official in their records. Be sure to revise your will, trust, power of attorney, or any other similar documents with new versions using your new name. You cannot change your name to defraud your creditors, for any illegal purpose, to hide from the law or police, to benefit economically from someone else’s name (so sorry, but you won’t be allowed to change your name to Kim Kardashian or Justin Bieber) or to invade someone’s privacy. FYI, if you want to legally change your name AND your gender, in California there is a separate legal process. Some divorcing mothers hesitate about reverting back to their birth name because they feel it will be confusing for their children to have a different last name, especially if they are the custodial parent or dad isn’t much in the picture.
The other possibility is to take an entirely new last name for yourself, not tied to your single or married history. Consulting with a family law attorney about name changes is a wise investment, and should not be complicated or costly, but can save you a lot of time and frustration later. Myra Chack Fleischer serves as Lead Counsel for Fleischer & Ravreby in Carlsbad, California with a focus on divorce, property, custody and support, settlement agreements, mediation, asset division and family law appeals. Correspondingly, Communities Digital News, LLC uses its best efforts to operate in accordance with the Fair Use Doctrine under US Copyright Law and always tries to provide proper attribution. With custody disputes, the division of assets, and the stress of finding a new living space you might forget about the process of getting your name changed.
One invaluable piece of advice however is to make sure that your divorce decree gives you the option of changing your name back to your maiden name. However, this should simply be a consideration and should not hinder you from changing you name back. If you feel that your community, friends, and co-workers know you by a certain name and you want to keep it that way there is nothing wrong with retaining your married name. There are many factors but really it comes down to how comfortable you in your present situation.
Ultimately, what you are doing is help change society’s collective mind while developing pride in your own name and grace under pressure,” she says. After they split, Tina fought in divorce court to keep her stage name despite their volatile marriage (the singer accused Ike Turner of physical and emotional abuse, which he downplayed), because she had worked so hard to make it famous.
Click through the slides below to see what they had to say, then head to the comments and tell us if you changed your name back after divorce. I was hurt, but still wanted to maintain communication for the sake of the pending birth & other events (birthing classes, babyshower, etc).
The plan that he thought he could sleep with a woman unprotected and definitely NOT get her pregnant? Yes, I know that in latin countries, children often take the mother’s surname, but what does that have to do with the price of beans?
I kept my father’s last name my whole life even though I never heard from him again until I was an adult.
According to a report by the Christian Science Monitor, some people decide to start with a name change. Some women with children will stay with the husband's last name to keep a sense of unity with the children, while women without children may choose to go back to their maiden names. Sometimes the new last name is a combination of names, a family name or something reflecting the women they have become since they got married and later divorced. As long as your divorce decree has a name change order in it, your last name is officially changed.
This documentation will allow you to change your name on identification and personal records.
Some states may allow you to just start using your former name consistently and request changes on all your personal records. A local divorce attorney can talk to you about legal issues with name change after divorce and requirements you will need to meet to adopt a new last name. Some women may have concerns about a legal name change after divorce because of the chance it could cause complications when trying to collect benefits from retirement accounts later and cause them to have to prove that they did not remarry and still eligible to collect the benefits. The name change has to be reflected on the driver's license, Social Security card, passport, bank accounts, insurance cards and all other legal documents and accounts. For example, if a couple had decided to hyphenate the last names when they got married, after a divorce an ex-husband may wish to legally change his name back to the non-hyphenated version of the last name that he used prior to the marriage.. Get in touch with a divorce attorney near you by calling 877-349-1310 or filling out a divorce case review form. According to a 35-year-study in the journal Social Behavior and Personality, women keeping their maiden names after marriage peaked in the 1990s, when about 23% of women did so, then eased gradually to about 18% by 2000. If you intend to change your name, your final divorce decree can include a clause about officially dropping your husband’s name and returning to your maiden name, or any previous name you used (another married name, for instance).
By far the most important to take care of first are your state driver’s license and your Social Security account with the Social Security Administration. The original documents are still enforceable, but changing the document now will avoid confusion later. If you just want to change your name for now and intend to change your gender later, you can go through the standard name change proceedings, and then change gender in a separate special legal proceeding. This does come up, most often when the ex-husband is getting remarried and he, or more likely the new wife, doesn’t want there to be two Mrs. It can be a family name several generations back, a change in spelling, a shortened version, or a name that simply sounds or looks good and has personal meaning to you. If you have reason to believe that any written material or image has been innocently infringed, please bring it to the immediate attention of CDN via the e-mail address or phone number listed on the Contact page so that it can be resolved expeditiously.
In 2013 the firm merged and became Fleischer & Ravreby, focusing on divorce and other family law areas.

Medical files alphabetized under the wrong last name or school personnel reluctant to release a child to a parent with a different surname are a few of the potential difficulties,” Utt-Grubb says.
The former couple, who split in 1975 after 13 years of marriage, had one child together, son Ronnie Turner. He never was a real prescence in her life though she knew him and saw and spoke with him sporadically.
He quickly got a new girlfriend & stopped talking to me for the duration of the pregnancy. Whether children were planned or unplanned, we have moral, legal and financial responsibilities to the children we create. I always knew i would never change my last name with marriage because of what it means to me carrying on my father’s legacy. Women who have used their husband's name professionally may also choose to keep the name so not to complicate their career. For professional women, the name may also need to be changed on all letterheads, business cards, signage, Web sites and promotional materials. Find out how you can take simple steps to move forward in your new life after filing for divorce.
It varies greatly from region to region (up to 20% in the Northeast, versus 4% in the Midwest), and depends a great deal on education and professional status. Once you have this accomplished, it should be fairly easy to have the rest of your records changed. As more organizations take security precautions, you will increasingly need to provide special forms, a copy of a court order listing your new name, and perhaps even a personal meeting.
It’s also a good idea to revise any contracts such as business agreements with your new name. Don’t think I haven’t dealt with this, all in a day’s work for a family law attorney in the 21st century. You have the legal right to do this at any time, for no reason (other than the few legal prohibitions cited earlier). Fleischer's expertise and expertise put her squarely among Southern California's most prominent family law attorneys.
While changing your last name may have seemed like a no-brainer when you said “I do,” it becomes a major decision if you divorce.
Some women change their children’s last names after divorce, some hyphenate their children’s last name, especially if the woman takes back her maiden name, and some actually change their children’s name to their maiden name. Each card one held a hand-selected passage of scripture that helped her cope and survive that stage of her life. If she is married and retained her birth name Then the child’s Name Should be hyphenated. However, my name was not something that linked me to him but helped defined my own identity.
You may end up changing your name and having a different surname from your children anyway.
Starting with a clean slate including a new name can signify a healthy new start in life and the strong new person you have become. Now, in this powerful daily devotional, Kristin offers the same inspiring verses that helped transform her heart. Nevetheless, cousins grandmother and other aunts and uncles on her father’s side never stopped playing an active role in her life or that of her half siblings he fathered as well.
My man thinks that he should pass his name because of traditions, but traditions mean nothing to me. The plus of updating your passport is that it can also list your previous married name under an AKA list, which connects the dots when you need to change other accounts such as insurance policies, bank accounts, and so on. Government regulations to fight against fraud, like identity theft, are making it more difficult to change your name without a court order.
She also adds her own compassionate, personal messages of faith and love.Spirituality is one of the most important ways to take care of yourself after a divorce. No one can make a man do anything he doesn’t want to do, he has to want to do it himself. I think its a very personal and individual eexperience and there is no right or wrong answer. It’s so important to build emotional and spiritual strength to help you weather the storms ahead. You’ll be dealing with everything from child custody to alimony to changing your name (back to your maiden name)…you need a strong foundation of God! But what you said is true about the judgement with a mother having kids with different last names. In this post, guest author Sydney Tyler Thomas describes the thought process she went through when changing back to her maiden name after her divorce. Why do we have this name and no one else does?” Now, I feel like we are a family in societies view. It felt like I was giving up my identity.ReplyLeave a Reply Cancel replyYour email address will not be published.

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