Navy Seal and motivation speaker David Rutherford has inspired thousands through his no-nonsense approach to developing self confidence and character.
I would go to social events and exercise my super power by posing my burning questions to friends and strangers alike. Most of all, though, I would use my super power to listen to the voices that I hear in my own head, from the loud inner critic, the large ego full of opinions, and the years of social conditioning and upbringing; and I would be able to tell, without a shadow of a doubt, the lies from the truths. I grew up in Tehran, and witnessed not only the horrible 1979 Iranian revolution but also the terrible war that ensued between Iran and Iraq. Mostly, I remember the way our teachers would brainwash our small little minds and fill it with the new regime’s lies. I moved to America when I was 15 years old, and today, even though I know the difference between a lie and the beautiful truth, some days the inner critic returns and insists on the lie.
The simplest and most powerful thing you can do to make that happen is believe in yourself. There is a difference between improving the person you are to be the best that you can be—a lifetime journey that we all share—and not being enough as a human being. Yes, you deserve happiness in abundance, and the funny thing is you cannot have happiness while you hold on to the lie. It takes reading one inspirational biography or life story to switch you out of this mindset, so pick your favorite hero and go.
Then we hear success stories of those who did not let any disadvantage dictate their success, those who blatantly ignored their shadows, shunned their current circumstances and defined their new future with brilliant colors! How you define wealth is your business, just know that how you feel about it will affect your confidence.
Telling yourself the truth can be the best habit you can develop, and asking questions and talking things through with yourself can be the easiest and quickest way to establish this habit. The great realization that I am not my emotions and that me ego is the creator and instigator of lies has been truly transformational. Farnoosh, I shared your article on FB and pinned it on Pinterest and printed it for myself!
Be happy, love yourself, know that you deserve the best of everything, and treat yourself well!  These are the lessons I’ve learned. I was worship associate at my church January 1st (Unitarian Universalist of the Cumberland Valley, Boiling Springs, PA) and I spoke on a subject near and dear to me as a manager, trainer, salesperson, evaluator, and human being…. Thank you for this article…this may in fact save me and be one step closer to making my dreams come true ( and sharing it with everyone).
And having just come back from yoga, where at the beginning of class I am always tired and at the end I am on top of the world, I can’t agree more on that front with you :)!
I really enjoyed this article, I am trying to practice everything that you covered in the article, this year has been a year of great change in my life, a life that was very dark and sad for a while, and I am still working on telling myself that I do deserve happiness that it is ok to feel happy and not to be scared of having this happy feeling, everyday I am trying to accept myself, my body for what it is , letting go of that feeling of what do people think of me if I look a certain way.. Thanks you so much for this!  I’m going to save this away to help me as I work on these things! If, like me, you were a shy kid, you’ve probably spent many hours wondering how to develop self-confidence.
Shortly afterwards I wrote a post called Pull back the curtains and let your light shine in which I talked about the way in which so many people hide behind layers of self-consciousness, the result of years of negative programming.
By far the most important thing, as I’ve alluded to already, is being comfortable in your own skin. You could also call it “following your bliss”, trying to avoid situations and people that do not contribute directly to your happiness, focussing instead on those that do. By focussing on what is important to you, what makes you happy, you create positive energy that naturally attracts more positive people, who will confirm and support who you are. This positive energy can then be harnessed to take specific action to meet the challenge of how to develop self-confidence. As I teach in my new course on “Conscious Learning”, having a goal like “I want to improve my English” is too vague – how can you measure it or know if you’ve achieved it? Are there any individuals or types of people that I particularly want to communicate more effectively and confidently with (your boss, attractive men or women, etc.)?
What are some specific outcomes I would like to achieve (asking for a raise, going for that promotion, asking someone out on a date, etc)?
So, for example, you might say “I will ask my boss for a raise.” Or “I will ask Christina out for dinner”.
Clearly, at the beginning of your journey towards greater self-confidence, these might seem intimidating, even frightening. Most of us have had some experience, probably as a child (when our parents didn’t give us a choice!), where we stepped outside out comfort zone and were rewarded with a sense of accomplishment. The fact is that these experiences of “failure” are usually the result of a lack of preparation. Most of our lack of self-confidence comes from letting others affect you negatively, as if they had their fingers on an invisible switch (especially those that seem to deliberately cause you pain and shame). Identify how to improve next time: by practising saying “aeropuerto” (the Spanish do not have diphthongs and separating vowels used to cause me huge difficulty) I was able to say it better next time. This means I do not waste time and energy on negative emotions which serve to limit self-confidence and have more of the same for positivity. We can achieve spectacular results if we can learn to manage our response to these situations and keep calm. Instead of focussing on the past, focus on the future – make amends for offence caused, work on improving your performance next time, and so on. Understanding and managing emotions is something I’m very interested in, being a sensitive soul who always used to let everything affect me far too much. As I’ve said before, focussing on mistakes and failures is unproductive and only produces more of the same. So you see, with a little love and KISSES, you too can learn how to develop self-confidence and as you do, you will see your life transform and become happier and calmer.
This entry was posted in Confidence Quotes and tagged Best Thoughts, Confidence Quotes, Confidence Thoughts, Nice Quotes, Nice Thoughts, Self-Confidence on August 4, 2014 by TAyyeb S.
This entry was posted in Confidence Quotes and tagged Best Thoughts, Confidence Quotes, Confidence Thoughts, Nice Quotes, Nice Thoughts, Self-Confidence on June 28, 2014 by TAyyeb S. This entry was posted in Confidence Quotes and tagged Best Thoughts, Confidence Quotes, Confidence Thoughts, Hard Work, Nice Quotes, Nice Thoughts, Self-Confidence on May 15, 2014 by TAyyeb S.
This entry was posted in Confidence Quotes and tagged Best Quotes, Confidence Quotes, Confidence Thoughts, Nice Quotes, Nice Thoughts, Self-Confidence on January 22, 2014 by TAyyeb S. An example of this would be a student that is upset because they came in 10th in a race during gym.
In order to overcome their sense of defeat, the student needs to develop their sense of accomplishment. There are many different things you can do with this list of character traits to help children identify what makes them great.
Have the students highlight the words (or top 5, top 10, etc) that describe them and create a wordle with the words that were selected. Have the students create a web by using a character trait from the sheet and evidence of the trait. This entry was posted in Lesson Plans, Parenting, Positive Behavior Support, School Counseling, Self-Esteem.
If you look at any of your problem areas in your life, you’ll probably find they are rooted in faulty and limited beliefs, imbedded deeply in our subconscious mind. These negative and dis-empowering beliefs, are the reason our life does not work as well as we would like it to; they are the barriers and blockages that stop us from reaching our full potential. I believe these are the source of our self-sabotage, and through daily affirmations and declarations we are able to imprint in our mind a new way of thinking, new beliefs that are empowering, boost self-esteem and develop self-confidence. We are re-programming our subconscious mind through daily repetitions of these affirmations, and remember that every new belief needs time and attention to flourish. Affirmations can be used for immediate, short-term results as well, when you want to influence and redirect the thoughts that occur in your conscious mind.


For example, in a situation where you are feeling stressed, tense or upset, you can repeat an affirmation such as, “I feel calm and relaxed. I have put together 27 of the most powerful affirmations and declarations that I have come across, specifically to boost self-esteem and develop self-confidence. You can choose to start with the ones that fit you best, and rotate them daily or weekly, whatever is appropriate for you.
Dr Camelia Furlan is a Dental Surgeon, Author, Entrepreneur, Transformational Life Coach and Speaker. This entry was posted in Daily Affirmations, Improve Self Confidence and tagged boost self-esteem, daily affirmations, develop self confidence. His 8 step guide is a practical and proven approach to becoming better today and building a brighter more rich future. Not the half-truth, the white lies, or the other grey in between, but the pure, beautiful, and unadulterated truth.
I would walk around in public places, eavesdrop on conversations, and know immediately if someone is lying or being honest.
I would sit in the courtrooms of the world, and know instantly if the victim is lying or telling the truth.
Even though I was very small, I remember the horror, the bombings, the sirens, and the oppression.
I remember that our families needed to play it safe while still helping us draw some faint distinction between those lies and the truth.
Most of all, they bruise our self-esteem, crush our self-confidence, and leave us looking for it everywhere except the very place that we will find it: within ourselves. The great thing about love is its abundance—it does not run out—and you can start with the first rule of confidence, which is to love thyself. Every human being—all seven billion of us—is born with unique fingerprints and unique voices.
If we had great failure in the past, we let it define our identity and severely limit our potential for any future success.
Some define it in the strength of their finances and some with the depth of their inner peace, and for some, one leads to the other. Your reward is a renewed, strong and solid sense of confidence in yourself and your amazing abilities! After her corporate career, she started Prolific Living which she now runs with her husband.
But of course I had to do some real uncomfortable work before I was able to meditate or even love myself enough to sit quietly in a room.
It’s difficult sometimes though trying to help others transform into that perspective.
I didn’t mean to make you cry but if it was with a breakthrough, I am So happy to hear it!
Meditation is a blessing, and even if it takes some discipline to put into practice, like you see and believe, it’s worth every bit of that effort.
Part of why we blame this is just force of culture and habit – so we just have to learn to break the patterns. If I see her as a liar and her words as LIES, I can more easily push her words aside…then I am ready for truth.
It takes a lot of vigilance and self-awareness to notice the lies and to have the presence of mind to challenge them.
I’ve read this thoughtful comment twice and am still at a a loss for words on how to add to it. The inner critic or even the ego does all of that to perhaps give us the illusion of control in this world.
But once you can forget your past and say yes I can do it and I will and start working on yourself loveing your self been honest you see the difference and the light when you love yourself you will be able to accept love !
I’ve been conflicted all day with an ongoing issue in my life and this article really connected with me. Lori here at Tiny Buddha has the most amazing community – I am blessed to share the piece with you. In this post I’d like to share with you my own journey and experience so you, too, can experience the transformation in quality of life you can achieve by following a few fundamental principles.
Because of my passion for helping people see the light and indeed the power they possess to achieve what they want, I felt it was time to share what caused that transformation and show you how to develop self-confidence yourself. It’s ok to want to improve physical fitness as this has many other benefits, but it’s vital that this is a positive goal, not a whip with which to punish yourself every day if you don’t succeed.
Learning to be comfortable being yourself, instead of trying to be what you think others want you to be, is essential. So just think about this: all anyone can do is think and act according to their own principles and if you do this consciously, no-one can legitimately criticise you for doing what you feel is the right thing. Suddenly I started to notice that people were listening to what I had to say and agreeing with me. In my life, this meant I started attracting positive people and situations which were much more in tune with who I am and what I am passionate about. Most people fail because of a lack of preparation (thinking they can instantly go from over-indulgence in holiday time to cold turkey) and woolly thinking with no clear objectives. Similarly a goal like “I want to be more self-confident” needs clarifying and investing with detail. In answering them, again, be as specific as possible and use them to create goal statements which you can carry around with you to remind you.
Remember that if you can achieve these specific goals, your overall level of confidence will shoot up. Whenever you are ticking along, when nothing threatening or too difficult comes your way, you know you are in your comfort zone.
The trouble is, our Inner Critic (the subject of another article and in the book I’m working on) is a master at making us forget those times and remember the times when we tried to do something but felt foolish in the act, and punishes us ruthlessly, sometimes for years after the event. If you follow the principles in this article, you are preparing yourself emotionally and physically for the challenge, and while there are no guarantees you will get the result you want, what is certain is that you will learn and grow, so you are still better of for having tried.
This is so true when learning how to develop self-confidence – being afraid, doing it anyway, falling down at first, but getting stronger with each fall.
And before speaking on the phone or ringing an intercom, I still practice saying my name in Spanish with the roll of the tongue when I have to speak to people here who still know me as “Arturo” as they cannot pronounce my name in English.
I am still on the journey but that journey has led to some breakthrough moments such as described here and I am much more balanced – still sensitive to others, but not crippled by anxiety and self-doubt.
To quote another old adage: “if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got”. Acceptance is the first step to change and if that’s where you are, recognise and start from the bottom and work up.
I’d love to hear from you with your own stories or questions and I’ll answer them as best as I can.
Judging ourselves by character traits that we think we ought to have and not the traits that we posses naturally sets us up for disappointment. Limited vocabulary and cultural stereo-types hinder their ability to find and understand their strengths and realize their full potential.
The student now thinks that no one will want to play tag with him at recess because he is not fast enough. This particular student has played tag everyday at recess without any problems since the beginning of school. For those of you that may not be familiar with a web, draw a circle in the middle of a sheet of paper and write the character trait inside.
Because they are in the subconscious mind, often you are not aware that they are the source of your thoughts and actions. If you can love yourself deeply and truly, you will generate plenty of love for the world around you, and you will start to see yourself as entirely worthy of love in return.


Can we walk into a new light, no matter what our past may have been and what our current circumstances suggest? Sometimes it just seems so much easier to accept them…But what a sad, lonely and confined life that would be.
You know, for me, it has been really challenging to come face-to-face with what you explain here because my belief system was so flawed, so harsh, so unkind to the self. I practice a lot of yoga and letting go in every yoga pose ironically brings us close to where we want to be … so perhaps at their base, there are parallels among all things that are good for us. Or rather, my hubby notices me saying something rubbish to myself and reminds me of what I know – the gap between what we know and what we do, right?
I know deep down that I am blocking my happiness because I seem to reach a peak during the week and by weekend, I’ve completely talked myself out of it. This is getting into me like some angel whispering to my ears!  Sorry, don’t get me wrong but I just want to tell you how much this gave me a dose of hope. It’s scary to shut those voices up though because once they do, you don’t know what to do with your life! Sometimes your true self is so buried you may not even realise or remember who that person is, so it’s very important to spend time getting to know you. Worse, when people do pay us a compliment, we dismiss it with a “yeah, right!” or “clearly you’re blind”, which if you think about it is repaying a compliment with an insult to that person’s own judgement.
And I learnt that accepting and feeling happy about my physical appearance did not constitute conceit or vanity, just a healthy self-confidence – a natural magnet for other people.
With less and less negative influences (I can’t think of any in my life now) holding you back and more and more positive people surrounding you, your self-confidence can only grow.
At the same time, you will become more successful in other areas of your life as you will feel more fulfilled and energised.
If you really want to grow your confidence, as with anything in life, you need to set specific goals and take specific actions that will lead to you achieving those goals. Make sure you set challenging but realistic goals (see below in step outside your comfort zone): just as when you start exercising you need to raise a sweat but do not expect to run a marathon.
In my experience, and after reading and listening to many successful and confident people, the more you fear something the more you should do it – because the rewards are so much greater. Equally, chances are you are not getting what you really want, just what you are used to and expect (including bad things). This does not mean suppressing them, quite the opposite, but being in control of them rather than letting them control you – or letting others control your emotions. At most she might have a laugh with her friends in the evening, but she probably would not give it or me a second thought. The answer is always yes (for the factors within my control – I didn’t get out of the taxi in Barcelona because I couldn’t pronounce “airport” in Spanish!) So despite the awkward language or faux pas, the conversation was a success. You’ll soon find more and more things to feel good about and that will help develop confidence to do more.
The student always makes new students in the school feel welcome and encourages other students during group work. Nobody has to give them permission so they can live out their dreams and make waves in their own life and many around them. I always thought this was because I was naturally shy and introverted so it was a genuine surprise when, late last year, an off-the-cuff comment about my not being “a natural extrovert” was greeted with equally genuine dismay.
And as hard as it may seem (I was bullied about my appearance at school, I know!) it is most definitely possible to feel good about how you look. After all, in the same way you are responsible for your actions, so are they and they are also subject to the same internal and external pressures as you.
If you’re going to learn how to develop self-confidence, start accepting compliments gracefully – and believing them!
I started attracting people I never thought possible, which, of course, grew my confidence even more. In writing the goals statements, make sure you avoid saying things like “I would like to” or “I want to” as these give the sub-conscious mind an excuse to add the deadly three-letter word “but” afterwards. Think about it: if it weren’t the case, if it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t worry about it, you’d just do it.
Things involving more effort, overcoming fear or committing to some concerted action, like learning a new skill, speaking in public (especially for the first time) or losing weight, changing habits, etc., require you to step outside this safe place and into the unknown. I can tell you definitively, recalling all too well the person who was totally lacking in self-confidence to the calm and confident person I am today.
That was a real breakthrough as it meant I could move on instantly and not dwell on an embarrassing situation.
So expect more on this site on that subject, which will also include a scientific dimension as more is understood about the relationship between the brain and emotions. Just as beginning to feel fitter and more energetic after a week’s exercise makes you feel good and want more, any success, no matter how small, will motivate you to tackle greater and greater challenges. Ignore that voice or tell it to go away and be helpful instead of self-destructive – tell it to look for times which, however mundane, you have achieved something. A daily ritual of thinking hard about and celebrating every success gives you energy and motivation to do even better the next day. When you get to the end of the word continue drawing your line but curve it around so it circles the word.
I suddenly realised that the comfort I now have in my own skin is inevitably visible in my outward demeanour.
Instead write “I will” – this itself is a statement of confidence and will kick-start the process. So that someone else could (if you chose to share your goals, very helpful if the person is truly supportive) check on that date and time that you have done it! Occasionally I still hear a small voice of disbelief, but it is drowned out by all the voices reminding me of all I have accomplished and the situations in which I have demonstrated the confident me. I have become more and more interested in neuroscience, partly because of “attacks” I used to have before I made a lifestyle change and moved to Spain (thought at one point to be epilepsy but ruled out then disappearing with the stress of my previous life). Especially if you’ve followed the rest of my principles of how to develop self-confidence and, for example, set specific objectives which you can work towards every day. How would you react if you knew the person were guaranteed to accept your answer, even appreciate your honesty? Focus and direction generate momentum and it is a universal human trait that people respond better to positive stimuli and validation than negative methods. We do every thing in this respect whether we are young or more aged, men or women, we want to look beautiful.There are many methods to develop our overall look if your genetic makeup has some flaws.
I think that story really made this blog click for me because your situation as a child was a little more intense than my own childhood, but it made me realize that regardless of where you live or what you are told as a child, you’re innocent and words stick with you in a profound way. Once you allow yourself positive validation, you open the door to more and greater success.
Their color will be based to the skin tone of feet and well fixed with the size and shape of feet. Motivate of this the relaxed level of the shoes in their stuff and size should be maintained in mind.
In what style and color the shoes may be, these should be kept clean up and neatVery carefully Chooses YOUR OUTFITS: Our 1st impression is by our outfits, what we put on become the element of our personality. These must be stylish and trendy as well as matches to your body appearance and personality. Stands up straight and look in the people’s eye with which you are discussing improve your self esteem.



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