Last week, one of my clients said to me, “Leora, can you just teach me how to gain self-esteem? Performing acts of kindness actually makes you happier and boosts your self esteem, making you feel more valuable and more at peace.
If you are signed up for the newsletter, you should have received your free mindful eating meditation. What would it be like to gently let go of the old thought patterns that you are so intensely holding onto?
Answer:  Hi Rebecca, thanks so much for your question and I want to tell you that there is no easy answer to this.
But it is true that some people find avoiding sugar altogether much easier than using mindfulness to gain power over the sugar. Magnesium– 500 mg per day- calms the body and the brain while stabilizing glucose levels which can wildly fluctuate when a person is bingeing on sugar. 7.)Stabilize your blood sugar by eating protein with every meal and eating bits of protein between meals. Do you have a question about binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, or anything associated with eating disorders? Usually, when I begin people on the road to intuitive eating and mindful eating, I help them wean off of calorie counting by using numbers to help them assess their appetites. You might try some hypnosis to help you stop dieting and to eat more mindfully for your body and less by someone else’s calorie chart. One of the ways to begin to encourage good health into your life is to start with your sleep.  Sleep and mood go together. Sometimes, raising your self-esteem is a matter of sticking to basic self-care routines like exercising, eating right, and getting enough sleep. This could be being a kind and compassionate person, being the kind of person people turn to when they are having troubles, not judging or criticizing other people, living with integrity, having positive intentions.
A study published in the Journal of Social Psychology showed that participants who performed directed acts of kindness every day for 10 days in a row showed an increased level of life satisfaction. Live Mindfully  – Mindful living is about being aware of your body, being aware of your choices, your environment, being mindful or your choices, your environment, your bodily sensations, your thoughts, your actions and your fears. Learn Self Acceptance:  Part of self acceptance is knowing what your strengths are and honing in on those and not punishing yourself for things that you are still working on. Take Responsibility for Yourself: This is about not blaming other people for choices you made. Be an Advocate for Yourself:  When you have self-advocacy, you always treat other people with respect and you do not allow other people to talk down to you or to treat you poorly.
When you begin to live with purpose, you take care of yourself, but your main purpose in life isn’t about getting thin or getting pretty or making money or trying to impress or look good to other people. Just because you eat one cookie, that doesn’t mean that your body has to continue on a sugar binge. By adding Omega-3 fatty acids, or olive oil to your salads, or even a teaspoon of extra virgin coconut oil, you might find that your cravings decrease.
Helps insulin to get into your cells to regulate glucose so that your hormones stop sending messages to your brain that you need more sugar.
The precursor to serotonin will  suppress your appetite and relax you to take the anxiety away from the binge.
When you are having a strong sugar craving, take 500 mg of L-Glutamine or open a capsule and put the powder on your tongue. Consider getting into an eating disorder group at ANAD to address these issues and get support for your mind, body and spirit.
It’s actually a lot more challenging than calorie counting, but ultimately more useful. You can also check in with yourself every 1-2 hours and ask yourself where you are on the hunger and satiety scale. Dieting is a temporary state of deprivation and therefore an ineffective way to lose weight. If dieting was a solution to a problem, most people would only ever have to diet one time in their lives ever.
Dieting takes your mind off of more important pursuits of life and turns you into someone hyper-focused and even obsessed with losing weight.


Dieting can cause you to stop doing things you used to find enjoyable, such as spending time with friends or at social events because you dread being around non-diet friendly foods. Diets teach you to measure your worth in terms of numbers on the scale, calorie counts and grams of carbohydrates instead of nurturing the lovely person that you are. Diets force you to reject your current life and look toward a different life that you might never have. Diets can drain you financially, especially if you’re constantly spending money on new diet books, or diet foods or special foods or training programs. Think about what you could do for the rest of your life and each week add one small thing to make that change sustainable. Exercise with love- Forget about reading about the best ways to lose weight or how to get a ripped physique and think of exercise as something to bring you pleasure and to help you destress. Once you have that down, you can then move onto other productive mindsets and rituals, like setting realistic goals for yourself and exploring hobbies, activities, and communities that interest you the most.Read below for more self-esteem tips. I'd like to add that the own perception is often vastly different than the perception by others. Self esteem is about being kind to yourself, accepting and loving yourself even if you’re not perfect. Knowing that you are never going to be 100% at all these things, when you are feeling badly about yourself, check in and ask yourself if you are doing your best to live in accordance with your values. When you begin to look at other people’s paths and think that you should be like them or different from who you are, you fail to move along your own, or you reject your path. Often, people who are suffering with eating disorders have a really rough time living mindfully. Understanding that you have power and that you are not stuck and that just because you made a bad choice, you are not stuck in it because you have the power to constantly be rethinking and recreating your life.
However, a literature review published in 2010,  in Clinical Nutrition Journal states that there is no support  that sugar may be physically addictive or that addiction to sugar plays a role in eating disorders. You can choose to make the next thing that you put in your mouth be something healthy, or nothing at all for a few hours until you’re ready for your next meal.
It increases mindfulness and helps you to actually get in touch with the needs of your body. Keeping track of the numbers on the hunger and satiety scale will help you to feel as though you are in control in a way that calorie counting did only it’s also a way to increase mindfulness. Because they are a set-up for failure for 98% of the people who diet, each time a diet doesn’t work, it causes you to evaluate your self worth according to a system that is set up for you to fail. This means choosing to actually eat a piece of chicken and broccoli that you get from the store rather than picking up a chicken and broccoli Lean Cuisine and having it pass for dinner. When your mood is off and your sleep is off, your immune system is compromised and your emotional stability is off. Thinking about very miniscule things like choosing a wrong word in a conversation or having the feeling that people stare at you because of the way you walk. She believes that if she were thin enough that she would be worthwhile and important, but if she is not thin enough, she is a worthless human being with no value.
Doing things for other people can be as small as smiling at someone when you are walking down the street or as big as volunteering your time to help someone out.
They reject their true needs to focus on the goal of weight loss or looking better and  either binge or starve themselves, they don’t honor their appetites, they hate their bodies because they believe that there is something wrong with them. Choosing instead to engage with the above ideas that are helpful and help you to feel better about yourself than the thoughts that intrude into your mind and keep you from living your life with zest and enjoyment. Sometimes I’ll have someone bring in their binge food to the office and eat it slowly, very slowly to see what comes up for them emotionally when they eat that food.
Do you know the number of calories in every food and the grams of carbs in everything that you put in your mouth?
After a while, you will be able to stop using the numbers because you will intuitively know when to eat and when to stop eating. You don’t have to binge on processed foods all day long and then vow to only eat apples and broccoli and chicken for the rest of your life. You then become more susceptible to colds, flu, disease, as well as anxiety, depression, and car accidents. Sleeping too much or too little sleep can both be hazardous to your health. All these little things really lower your confidence because the human mind tends to overanalyze situations.


If you are not, give yourself a reminder of what your values are and try to live according to them.
It can also be remembering to give loved ones around you big hugs, kisses and compliments and reminding them why you love them so much and telling them how proud you are of them. Being honest is more like telling someone that your feelings were hurt when they didn’t answer your phone calls or respond to your messages.
We then discuss it, and as they s-l-o-w-l-y eat the food, they begin to take the power away from it and reclaim their own power. So, if someone does or says something to you that hurts your feelings or if you yourself say or do something to yourself that hurts your feelings, check in with yourself and ask, “am I living according to my values?
Being honest is not stealing, not lying, not purposely saying things to hurt people, not spreading hurtful rumors, and not using other people to achieve your own means. They then make a plan as to how they will eat the rest of the night and what they will do to take care of themselves.
So if you can eat healthy most of the time, you can have a little bit of the not so healthy every so often. They either simply don't care, don't notice them, or they forget about it in seconds because it's just so miniscule. It’s about holding yourself with integrity to the best of your ability, always being kind, thoughtful, compassionate and loving to the people around you and to yourself. Meaning, you can’t compare the knowledge that you have about your own situation to what someone else is outwardly showing you about their own. It’s about being kind, being helpful, but also not sacrificing yourself or your own needs for the sake of others. However, what about trying to hear them like background noise (like a fire engine siren outside) but not follow them. For the past year and a half, I’ve been eating sugar again, and not in a healthy way. This act of eating sugar in a contemplative way, without the fury and the madness, and then walking away from it, can change your belief about yourself around it.
Her critic is always telling her that she will be better, more people will like her and she will be happier when she is thinner. Knowing that you have it in you to make your own decisions based on your own values (see #1) is part of what gives you self efficacy and self-esteem. It will help you remember what is truly important to you and when you remember and when you live according to those values, you find self-efficacy. But when you find other people who are working on the same change together, you have a group of encouraging, loving folks to keep you accountable and to be kind to you when you fall down.
You don’t have to exercise hard, you just have to get out and move several times a week.
When you identify your values and do your best to live up to them, you will always know that you are okay and you won’t have to worry about what other people think about you. And once you remember that life is hard across the board, you can transcend the existential angst and pain that comes with the difficulties of life.
My current therapist says that sugar addiction is a myth and wants me to learn to eat it in moderation.
But, first, go for the whole unprocessed so that you know you’re giving your body something healthy. There’s no deprivation there and you are letting yourself eat for both health and enjoyment.
It means that you can be yourself now and thrive and be in the world while at the same time improving your circumstances. We all have goals to achieve, that’s part of what makes us psychologically healthy and what helps us move forward in life. There is less likely to be lots of artificial ingredients and preservatives and more love and whole ingredients added.



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