Secrets of Dripping Fang, Book Five: The Shluffmuffin Boy Is History by Dan Greenburg, Scott M. From the author of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl comes a novel about music, love, friendship, and freedom. After the gang got a little pyromaniacal at the Mandibles' place, nothing's as it should be. DAN GREENBURG is the creator of the enormously popular Zack Files series of middle grade novels as well as the author of a number of bestselling adult books, the best-known of which is How to Be a Jewish Mother. Secrets of Dripping Fang, Book Eight: When Bad Snakes Attack Good Children by Dan Greenburg, Scott M.
What can we expect from the next two brilliantly creepy books in the deliciously disturbing Dripping Fang series? Secrets of Dripping Fang, Book Six: Attack of the Giant Octopus by Dan Greenburg, Scott M.
After Wally's brush with death by insulin shock (a lesser-known means of assassination, for sure), he and Cheyenne are more determined than ever to stop the Ont Queen and her millions of minions from enslaving the human race and ending life on Earth as we know it. In an astounding turn of events, the Shluffmuffins twins' long-lost father has reappeared years after his tragic Porta Potti accident. The Shluffmuffin children are thrilled that their father is no longer dead, but they are disappointed to discover that he has returned as a zombie. Secrets of Dripping Fang, Book Four: Fall of the House of Mandible by Dan Greenburg, Scott M.
Things seem pretty hopeless for the Shluffmuffin family in the fourth book in this hilarious series.
Part of the "Secrets of Dripping Fang" series, the humor in this book will certainly appeal to 11-year-old boys. Read an ExcerptThe No Child Left Alive Program"Let me tell you how much I hate human children," said Dagmar Mandible to her sister, Hedy.Dagmar gazed down the row of waxy green cornstalks where the Shluffmuffin twins had vanished and cursed softly under her breath. Enabling JavaScript in your browser will allow you to experience all the features of our site.
Wally has suddenly turned into an eternal optimist, Vampire Dad wants to give the twins up for adoption, and Cheyenne has been acting awfully, well, hypnotized lately. Although the girl’s slim body quaked with cold, her thin pajamas and sheets were soaked in sweat. Well, it’s probably a safe guess that they will be just as bizarre and frightfully fun as the others.
Their newly adoptive dad, Professor Spydelle, convinces the zombie dad to drink an elixir of life.
The treacherous Mandible sisters have kidnapped Cheyenne again, and it's up to Wally to rescue her. Why in the world would anyone (even Hedy and Dagmar, evil giant ants who are plotting to destroy the human race) want to kidnap a snotty ten-year-old girl with so many allergies that she is always sneezing and blowing her nose. When the Onts, who are really giant ants disguised as elderly aunts, kidnap twins Cheyenne for her snot production and Wally for his smelly feet, Wally escapes and must rescue his sister. FISCHER has illustrated many book jackets and has also created art for Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons & Dragons. And we could possibly surmise that they’ll take our two heroes, Wally and Cheyenne Shluffmuffin, back to the clutches of the show-tune-happy Hortense Jolly at the Jolly Days Orphanage, where odd adventures might ensue.
And further, how do we know that the Ont Queen won't resort to even more creepy and unusual methods to try to exterminate Wally once and for all?Well, these two scrawny kids have managed to survive this long, haven't they? But would it be rude to point out how his skin appears to be rotting and falling off in chunks?
Unfortunately, the Shluffmuffin's have new fears, as the potion turns their zombie dad into a vampire dad. And not only is their adoring dad a vampire, but lately he's taken up all sorts of offensive and unsavory activities like "volunteering" at a bloodmobile and licking strangers' bleeding wounds on buses.

Wally enlists the aid of 36 orphans and the mercenary orphanage director, who are busy singing show tunes and talking about pooing their pants.
And what sort of old maids would choose to live in a place called Dripping Fang Forest, where zombies wander the woods singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and ten-foot-long glowing slugs want to suck the feet right off your ankles?Would it seem ungrateful of Wally to point out the Mandible sisters' extra arms? The darkened room in the attic of the odd house in the forest smelled like cherry cough syrup, menthol, and stale bedclothes. Who knows, maybe even The Jackal (of international assassin fame) will make another appearance.
In addition to that, the Shluffmuffin children discover that the two giant ants in their neighborhood have concocted a scheme to enslave the entire human race.
Gross!Throw in thirty-six grubby orphans singing show tunes, a bizarre plot to overthrow the human race with a flu virus sprayed out of perfume bottles, and some deadly, chatty wolves, and things in Dripping Fang Forest couldn't get much more surreal. Their formerly zombie vampire dad helps after being fired from his volunteer position at the bloodmobile.
But when Wally comes up with a brilliant SWAT team-style commando plan to get Cheyenne back, the Onts just may be defeated once and for all. Throw in a vampire dad whose volunteer activities at the bloodmobile are making everyone uncomfortable. The Spydells, a giant spider and her husband, and wolves from the forest add to the little army. Or, um, to venture into the cellar, where the twins have been told to NEVER, EVER, EVER go?Yeah, perhaps that last bit was a mistake.
The doctor removed a glass thermometer from between Cheyenne’s parched lips and held it close to the bedside light. He had a two-day growth of beard and a deeply scarred face, the result of confrontations with creatures that didn’t appreciate his housecleaning. Can they prevent their dad from biting their necks and help to turn him into a regular dad? Encounters with minor characters such as a taxi driver, a crop duster, and a department store employee add to the romp when they have varied reactions to the Onts.
A large part of Sledge’s lower right lip was missing, revealing a disturbing sneer of teeth. Although the premise is exciting, you will not find the answers to these questions in this book. The Shluffmuffin twins were ten years old, had red hair and freckles and a tendency to attract creatures with sinister intentions, most of whom were not even human.
So imagine the twins' delight when they discover that their friend Professor Spydelle has developed a special life-restoring elixir, the only known cure for zombiism. Although this book is part of the "Secrets of Dripping Fang" series, it can be read and enjoyed independently.
Unfortunately, it seems there are still some kinks to work out on that special Elixir of Life.
Dad had drowned in a Porta Potti accident at the Cincinnati circus three years before, so they assumed he was dead.
Cheyenne and Wally Shluffmuffin were the snotty ten-year-old orphans that Dagmar and Hedy had found in the Jolly Days Orphanage and chosen for a trial adoption. My friend has wrestled the man-eating crocodile, survived the attack of the giant grizzly, fought off the jaws of the great white shark. But when two faces that look suspiciously like giant ants appear in Wally and Cheyenne's bedroom window one night, things take a turn from dismal . On their first night at Mandible House in the hushed and lovely Dripping Fang Forest, Dagmar and Hedy got the twins settled in their cheery bedrooms and served them a nutritious all-chocolate welcome dinner.
And just because they discovered that Dagmar and Hedy were giant ants who were breeding a race of super-ants to replace mankind and end life on Earth as we know it, those ungrateful little brats ran away.
Fortunately, Dagmar and Hedy were able to recapture them a scant few weeks later.But on the cab ride back to Mandible House, the twins claimed to need a bathroom so badly they were about to poop their pants, and Dagmar had compassionately ordered the driver to stop at a gas station restroom.

Cheyenne and Wally went in, locked the restroom doors, and escaped through the windows and into the cornfield before the Mandible sisters could catch them."Yes, I am mad that Cheyenne and Walter got away from us again," said Dagmar. Dad had never had a temperature higher than a hundred and four, and for the past three years he’d had no temperature at all.
The troll doctor yanked his stethoscope out of his long floppy ears and zipped up his medical bag. His wart-covered head was so large, it threatened to tip him over on his stubby legs and send him crashing to the floor. Wally, Dad, Shirley, and Shirley’s human husband, Edgar, followed the troll as he hopped down three flights of stairs to the front door. Hate the revolting heat that radiates from their limp, flabby bodies with the skeletons on the inside instead of on the outside where skeletons belong."From beyond the white concrete restrooms adjoining the cornfield, the horn of a car began beeping loudly, angrily, and unceasingly.
Dagmar pretended not to notice."So, dearest one, how do we get the repulsive little wretches back?" asked Hedy. He counted out a sheaf of them and extended it to the troll, who snatched it quick as a toad’s tongue. Your friend will enter the tank of the giant octopus and remain there for precisely six minutes.
He will be permitted no scuba or other underwater breathing apparatus, no speargun or knife, no weapon of any kind.
He struck a wooden match with his thumbnail, held the flame close to the bowl of his pipe, and inhaled deeply.
Choice A is to drive us to the nearest airport that you know of where we can hire a pilot and a small crop-dusting plane.
Choice B is to have me pluck out your eyeballs and suck your brains from your skull through your eyeholes. Wally, Edgar, Shirley, and Vampire Dad stared out the door after him, paralyzed by his dark news, until Edgar realized that leaving doors open at night in Dripping Fang Forest was unwise, and promptly slammed it shut. He made barely audible clicking noises in the back of his throat."Choice A or choice B," Dagmar repeated. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Dagmar and Hedy Mandible were the two mysterious ladies who’d taken them out of the Jolly Days Orphanage to their home in spooky Dripping Fang Forest for a trial adoption.
After discovering the Mandible sisters weren’t ladies but giant ants breeding a race of super-ants to enslave humans and end life on Earth as we know it, the twins managed to escape. If she pulls through this, I’ll become a total optimist, I swear, even more than Cheyenne. If you let Cheyenne live, I’ll be such an optimist, I’ll make her look like me by comparison!
Okay, God, if you do exist, and if you let her live, I’ll do anything you want me to.
The doors slid open and the twins stopped talking, fearing they might be overheard.The receptionist switched off the small silver tape recorder on her desk.
I’ll get over how hurt I am that she and Wally prefer to have the Spydelles be their parents instead of me. Sure, our lives will no longer be safe from his horrid bloodlust, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice if you will only let this poor child live.

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