Self-compassion is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.
Self-compassion is the care and nurturing we offer ourselves when we make mistakes, embarrass ourselves, or come short of a goal we were hoping to achieve. Having self-compassion means to honor and accept your own humanness and accept that in life, you will encounter a number of unfortunate circumstances, sometimes where you’re the one at fault.  Self-compassion is having grace for oneself. Now, consider for a moment: how you respond to yourself when you’ve messed up or haven’t done something quite right? One way to practice is by taking five minutes at the end of the day and writing about the worst thing that happened to you during the day.  Pretend like you’re writing about it from the stance of someone who cares about you. Self-reflection in his practice as a case manager and also clinical counsellor within a Family Service Centre.
As I grow older for example, I find that gratitude is a core practice that I would like to do more consistenty.
I think we do a huge disservice to our children when we stress self-esteem instead of self-respect.
For more posts on the topic of Children, visit Bridget Chumbley’s place, One Word at a Time.
When we understand that before anything else we are sons and daughters of the Living God, it will change the way we look at ourselves. Amen…I think we, as a society, are seeing the consequences of placing so much emphasis on self esteem in recent years. We are relational creatures and we find our way through our primary relationship with our creator, who loves us dearly. Tremendous teaching…I hope this makes it to every parents email, blog or whatever…just so they see this truth!
Confidence is one of my favorite traits, as I believe lack of confidence and self-esteem is one of the easiest ways to sell ourselves short. So confidence and esteem can be gained by changing our outer reality, by it is most often gained by changing our inner one. Low self-esteem ALWAYS forms in childhood when the individual is developing an initial view of how he or she, as a person, fits into the world.
Signs of low self-esteem: social withdrawal, sensitivity to criticism, hostility, excessive pre-occupation with personal problems, physical symptoms like head aches, fatigue and insomnia (sleep disorders). 3. Some people may require talking to a counselor or an expert, especially those who went through a more challenging past. A person should not allow the low self-esteem to hinder him or her from realizing the true potentials. If you think you are suffering from a low self-esteem, you can chat anonymously to a facilitator on the MobieG LIVE CHAT. Compared to those who try to use guilt, shame, or fear as motivators to complete a project or goal, the ones who practice self-compassion are the ones who spend less time dragging their feet when it comes time to perform a task.


Those who are accepting and caring towards themselves after a perceived or real failure will be much more likely to “get back on the horse” and keep going.
Contrary to what some might assume, self-compassion does not relieve someone of their ownership of a problem; rather, self-compassion actually serves to assist someone in being able to make a more realistic assessment of the role they played in problem process. Those who are more compassionate with themselves will not crumble if they receive feedback from others. Being self-compassionate is not an innate quality, and it’s often learned in our family of origin.
In one study, participants who did this every day for one week reported experiencing a greater sense of happiness toward their lives. What he said that day struck a chord with me as it reminded me of the value of self-reflection especially within the context of everyday life.
This is because increasingly I feel that how we feel about everything in our lives also stems from how we have been conditioned to perceive them. The best that I can say about self-reflection is that its akin to the feedback that is required for any system to excel. Any open system, and we are all open systems unless you tell me that you live in an isolated cave and do not interact with any other human being, requires an accurate feedback mechanism to relay to it crucial information so that the system can adapt and thrive.
But how do you as an individual system made up of yourself and all your fears, expectations, hopes, memories etc obtain your own version of valuable feedback system? An individual with a healthy self-respect “likes” themselves — even when encountering the inevitable failures in life. If they sold self-esteem in the Sky Mall catalog, it would like like a smiling (but evil) Buddha. Being the mother of a 11-year-old girl going on 16 or something, I’m dealing with this on a daily basis.
This is to reassure the self of the many capabilities and potentials that may be developed. Hugging may be a very simple act, but this could very well give warmth to a dampened spirit. Take for example, a homeless man on the street; when encountering him, you may notice his pain and wonder if under different circumstances your life could have turned out the same way.
This is because those who practice self-compassion know they have inherent value and abilities to recover— even if the feedback is not positive.
When you’re tempted to be self-critical or judgmental, try to speak to yourself as someone who cares about you would; consider what they might say to encourage you. Depending on our childhood circumstances, this may or may not have been a skill that we learned from our parents.
Specifically with the ever increasing pace of life, we all need to consciously find the time to sit down and reflect on our day, our week, our relationships, our current stage in life, our life philosophy and what we hope to achieve. Well you can do so by harnessing the power of self-reflection where you practice contemplation, wearing other person’s perspectives, do thought experiments etc.


To esteem something is to “hold in high regard.” Self-respect and self-esteem are quite different. While on the other hand, you raised an excellent point, it’s almost like self-respect is not even part of the equation.
When life is lived in fellowship with him, to his glory, all the rest falls into its proper place. But my Dad has long insisted that Self-esteem is bogus, and I think self-respect got thrown out with it, because us kids got neither. Self-reflection can also be a moment we accord to ourselves to honour, accept and yes console ourselves even. So I believe that by practicing a gratitude mindset, we will start to shift our conditioned perspective towards positivity.
Perhaps in another blog post we will explore further what is the exact process of self-reflection or at least the process that I employ. Tagged close system, contemplation, feedback, fulfilling life, meaningful life, meditation, open system, purposeful life, self reflection, wisdom.
Self-esteem balances precariously upon a comparison with someone who’s always “a little better.” When we esteem someone or something, we face serious trouble if we do not measure up to those standards.
Compassion for her and her situation leads you to offer a listening ear, a comforting hug, or maybe some kind words of encouragement. Gratitude alone does wonders for the soul as it allows the mind to relieve itself off some burdensome thingking when achieved. You are a system made up of the interaction between your awareness, your relationship with your memories, emotions, expectation, conditioned perspectives, fears, etc. For now, it is good to note the invaluableness of self-reflection and start your own self-reflection practice in the best way only you know works for you.
Our esteem may ebb and flow, whereas a healthy self-respect (liking ourselves) is always grounded in what we are (and are not) — not in what we can or cannot accomplish. He takes any type of discipline as if they were directed at his spirit and not his actions.
Sometimes, self-reflection can also partly be used to practice gratitude or remind ourselves of other practices that we want to set aside for daily practice.
Within each of us sometimes resides a vast complexity that mirrors the complexity of our external relationships.
Yes, a good self-respect will help him some, but if he doesn’t (with the help of his counselor) work through these things that are tearing him down, he will have no self-esteem and therefore will have no self-respect.




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